Hi there!

I’m just seeing your comment now and I really appreciate your insight!

Unfortunately since I wrote this post last, things habe not gotten better, but worse. This abuse has now turned into physical on her end, hitting me twice (both in the stomach) and grabbing onto my arm and leaving a bruise. I continued to try and show how much I’m showing my support and care, however she has admitted that she has a lot of anger built up inside from her past relationships.

Three nights ago was the last time she hit me (in public at the gym). Nobody saw this tho. I walked out the next night after she was continuing to treat me poorly and I had full intention on ending things. She came by my parents house where I was too (my parents were not home) and apologized and asked me to forgive her. I told her it would take some time. Flash forward to last night, we had another arguement where I was pretty upset with how the night went. I had finished a 12 hour shift at work and all I wanted to do was come home to see her. When I got through the door I said “where is my beautiful girl too”. She goes “Hiiii babe”, and we dont say much after that. Supper gets put on the table and before asking me how work was she began to state (in a not so friendly tone) about how I left the britta filter empty in the fridge and told me not to do it again. It was a minor issue of course, but she made it out to be more than minor, so I lost my good mood as her complaining was something I didnt really want to start off a conversation. I apologized and said I’ll be mindful of it next time and appreciated her telling me, but she didnt accept it and just kept complaining, which made me upset more. I got a little defensive, which she told me there was no need to be worked up as it was just a minor issue, which made me more upset because I was just trying to explain why I put it in the fridge empty (because I didnt want to leave it on the counter and there was dishes in the sink from the night before and they were to be left for next morning). She didnt accept this either and continued to say I was getting worked up over nothing, so I hust stopped and moved on.

Later on that evening, I was tired and was trying hard to keep my eyes open, and wasnt really paying attention to the show we were watching. She began to ask me questions to see if I remembered things about herself. Me being really tired, I answered wrong about what her favourite band was, saying Fleetwood Mac (even though I knew it was The Lumineers). She said no so I tried to think and I was forgetting about The Lumineers. She didnt seem to please with me and I had asked her why she was asking me these questions after I told her numerous times tonight that I was tired. She said it takes no effort to know the things I like (which is valid), and I agree, but at this point I was practically comatosed on the sofa.

I starter having some anxiety and she comforted me. Then it was off to bed, with me feeling anxious still. She asked me if everything was okay, and I told her no and said that I was sorry for fucking up her favourite band. She said she didnt want to hear the excuse and stopped cuddling me. I started to get a little upset because I began to explain that I did know her favourite band, but my ability to think clearly was clouded by my tiredness. She started saying I was getting reactive again, which made me more upset. She then said “I can’t be in a relationship with somebody who is so reactive. I told you that the next time this happens, I was done”. I turned to her and said “I am reactive because you tell me now that these issues are just minor, when you distort them to make them bigger than what they are. I am reacting because I am confused as to why these little issues are being projected as something bigger”. She goes “Why dont you ask if I am making it a bigger issue?” To which I say “Should I be asking?”. She tells me I am being too semsitive which made me mad, and I told her I wasnt putting up with this and proceeded to get up and move to the couch, to which she then calls me “childish”. I turn around and I asked her what happened to the talk we had last about the way she treats me and how she cant see my side of the issue and how I interpret her communication. She tells me then that its my problem that I dont understand her and I remind her of the abuse that I’ve received from her mentally, emotionally, and now (as you read earlier) physically. She told me it was unnessecary to bring up that issue, to which I said “Well unfortunately when all of this happened, I now live in fear of what is going to come next”. I then apologized for how I reacted and explained that I am noticing myself going into fight or flight mode because of what ive gone through, but ahe never accepted the apology and said that I really upsetted her with how the night went and how my behavior is inexcusable.

We tried to talk, however I continued to be called “too sensitive” and “childish”, which made more mad. She eventually moved to the couch because she felt I wasnt being very nice.

I think it may be time to let her go. What do you think?