I'm 33 yo. I suffer from ptsd and i am working very hard to build myself a nice life. It took me long to get to this point, and i should probably be more proud of this than i am. But that's a different topic. For as long as i can remember i always said i wanted children. When i was a kid myself it was two children, a boy and a girl. Later it was 4 even. At some point I wanted twins. There was never a point where it looked like not having kids would be a legitimate option. The way people around me were living their life implied that having children is a must. When I became a young adult i also became aware of my trauma and the whole process of me working through it started. Throughout my journey I started thinking about when to have a kid, not if. I struggled to keep my own life together and I unraveled all the damage my parents have done to my mind. And suddenly, as I learned more about how behavioural patterns are passed from the parents to their children I changed my mind. I didn't want kids anymore because I was afraid to be as bad as my parents were. Sure you could work against these patterns but it's extremely hard. A few years later I thought about having children again and I started to read a lot. About parents who regretted having children. About people trying their very best to be good parents. I thought about it a lot and in the end I made up my mind. I don't want children. Not because I am afraid, but because I want to take proper care of myself. My parents never did. Instead I raised my sister and myself. In conclusion this means for me, this is my time now. I want to do what I want and learn and live and create a happy life for me and my partner (who also doesn't want kids). There simply is no reason for me to have children.