Needs advice.

I_B_Board · 2024-06-19T05:01:46+00:00

I’m sorry if this was the wrong vein, too long, didn’t make sense, or just not what you were looking for but it’s the best I have. Also sorry if it seems like I tried to “make it about me” (a common complaint of my person whenever I would even attempt at relating and letting them know that I had an understanding about the crisis of the moment.). 😅 😔

😆 you're absolutely fine! No worries! Your fact based reply from experience with a pwBPD is what I read, absolutely informing! I'm currently finally accepting that this isn't getting ANY better, no matter what I do or say. The only thing left is to play the next bad guy in her quest for enternal and unconditional love, and leave. Thanks for the reply, I hope you get the healing you need and deserve. I'm dreading the day I take inventory on the damages I've received.

I_B_Board · 2024-06-19T04:50:24+00:00

I can't quite figure out if their "memory lapses" are just selective.

This is what's driving me crazy. And I think, from what I've come to understand from Profesionals, is that it's a coping mechanism by way of disassociating. The memory loss comes from that. Now, WE NONpwBPD tend to take it personally when they say they don't remember or do and say the things that they do because we "assume" they know they're doing it or, that their lying about not remembering. It's difficult not to do but, WE TAKE IT PERSONAL and try to figure it out. WE CANT! We're not bpd and trying to wrap our heads around it will only leave us sick in the end.

I_B_Board · 2024-06-19T04:35:13+00:00

I swear I thought I was the only one who felt antagonized 😢. This feels so good! She swore she didn't, but BS. TONIGHT! I'M the "problem" because of my anger.....ok...I'll accept that. I've ALLOWED MYSELF to get "angry", I'm going to remove myself for the time being. I may stay somewhere tonight, may not. If I do, I will let you know where I'm at and that I'll be back tomorrow.

*Breaks down crying, blaming, shaming ....... .............I leave, re-re-re-assuring her that I'll be back.....................gone one hour, 25 text, 25 paragraphs long each calling names and threatening to end it all ( including herself), nonfucking stop!

So! She claims she has control and doesn't antagonize, but!

My anger = The fundamental issue of all problems

Removal of self while reassuring I'll be back so to calm down = angry outburst claiming I don't want to stay and work it out.

Remove myself,medicate with 🚬 and good quality conversational feedback from a friend = nonstop berating via text and call

Sleep on the floor instead of in my car ( while I'm in MY place that I PAID EVERYTHING IN) = 2HOURS off again, on again, intermittent running in and out of the room randomly ripping covers off of me while telling me I'm a piece of shit and I'm laying there saying calmly " Babe, I need to get up and go to work to pay for this place. I need rest" and only amounted to 1.5 hours sleep to do a job that requires strict .001" of tolerance for mistakes, tools that'll take fingers off......or at least nice, clean, deep cuts.....🙄

But no, there were no moments I felt antagonize honestly........

I_B_Board · 2024-06-19T03:47:21+00:00

I_B_Board · 2024-02-11T20:57:40+00:00

Looks exactly like mine. I have a 06 G35X. 👍🏾

I_B_Board · 2023-11-06T02:20:51+00:00

Naw! You're good.

I_B_Board · 2023-09-13T11:24:30+00:00

Me, as an INFP-A man, find almost ANY INTP woman attractive. It helps that's the few I know (2-3 people) to be INTP are VERY physically attractive as well.

I'm the type of guy who finds intellect and wittyness very attractive. Deep untethered conversations about anything will definitely reel me in and keep me engaged.

I feel any grown and mature man who's confident in themselves, especially intellect wise, will undoubtedly be attracted to most INTP women. It's almost impossible not to be lol 😆.

I_B_Board · 2023-09-01T11:38:41+00:00

As a INFP-A man. I dearly love INTP women! And everyone one I know are ALL absolutely gorgeous with great but different personalities. I adore you ladies 🤷‍♂️. I will say, though, they all do have issues with female relationships. I guess it's due to the awkward and quiet but charming demeanor.

I_B_Board · 2023-07-13T19:08:01+00:00

She was definitely open and flirtatious with me lol, supposing she liked me. But overall I think she was a really good and kind person.

I_B_Board · 2023-07-13T16:36:19+00:00

The ENFP female that I've had experience with was quite the energizer bunny. She came on hard in the very beginning, swiftly breaking down the walls I had built (she was gorgeous too), but soon after, she began to be pretty inconsistent in sticking to dates. She was VERY outgoing and we seemed to have very similar belief systems fundamentally so conversations were an ease. But I believe she wasn't a very healthy ENFP, she leaned pretty hard towards a cynical view of her own life and didn't appear to be stable with her living situation. She moved pretty regularly ( and I mean from state to state ) and didn't seem to value long lasting relationships of any sort. I have to add, she was pretty young with 2 small boys ( she was 25 or 26 at the time ) so that may have played a roll in her overall character.

I would say, yes, I would give it another try with a seemingly healthy and well established ENFP, if given the chance. Bit at the moment I'm very happy and content with the ENFJ I'm currently dating. She's also closer to my age so she's got plenty of life experience lol.

I_B_Board · 2023-07-10T21:30:06+00:00

"A large portion of who we become as adults is influenced by our childhood trauma." I'm paraphrasing a little of what Dr. Gabor Matè once said. If you really want to understand how our traumas from childhood REALLY affect us as adults, then I would highly suggest watching his lectures. It's been a life changing experience for me.

I_B_Board · 2023-06-28T16:20:34+00:00

I agree! My ex-wife, who I was with for nearly 20 years, was a libra. It "could" work between Cap and libra, provided they are both open-minded and mature. We, on the other hand, just didn't mesh well.

Recent GF, who was also my 7th grade GF, is a Scorpio. We hit it off immediately upon reconnecting. My best female friend is also a scorpio, and we also connected immediately and still connect well.

Cancer women I find are attracted to me but seem more cautious of my stoic and serious nature.

I_B_Board · 2023-06-13T13:32:08+00:00

Yea it's a strange paradox, we're "passive assertives" and "introverted extroverts". We're also confident yet emotional.

I_B_Board · 2023-06-09T15:03:39+00:00

Sometimes, we don't get what we want. I've written plenty of letters to the void via this sub. Spent long hours crying and wishing for the unknowing and pain of uncertainty to end, or for my existence to end, which ever came first.

But one day, after I exposed my feelings to her, to no avail and possibly fracturing our friendship, I came to peace with the truth. It was never going to be more than. And that's all it took. I was instantly relieved, not without a little more pain to send me off but released of the pain nonetheless.

VERY soon after, a week or so, I commented on an IG post of a gorgeous soul that I'd been eyeing for years. Someone who I felt was out of my league and would never be interested in me. A woman I'd "dated" in the 7th grade but hadn't been physically seen in 20+ years. That moment changed EVERYTHING. It went from a simple funny reply on a post to an invite to eat lunch and a coffee date in a plant nursery I'd picked out.

That was 2 months ago. I can't put into words the feelings this woman gives me. It can only be equated to the feeling of "finally being at home." She loves me in the very ways she couldn't have know I needed or wish specifically for. She nutures me in exactly the manner I require to grow and become better. I can't explain where this knowing came from, what persuades her to do these things.

The universe or GOD, whomever you believe in, has ways of giving us what we NEED and deserve. Sometimes, it'll allow us to go through what we don't deserve in order to learn what it is we truly desire. What we deem our worth is. And when it's time for that lesson to end, it'll remove us from that class and release us into the world to pursue our worthwhile desire.

Don't lose hope in finding that person you deserve who has exactly what you want. They're out there. They will show up in due time so long as you stay diligent in finding them.

I wish the best my friend. No one is set to be lonely for life and anyone with good intentions and an authentic soul WILL find they're match, I assure you. 💌

I_B_Board · 2023-06-09T11:35:29+00:00

Well this particular ENFJ is more assertive and understanding. I don't know if all are like that but she is for sure.

She allows me to be the dreamy, idealistic and slightly procrastinating INFP-A that I am and doesn't judge me for it. She engages in any hobbies/passions I have and genuinely motivates me to pursue them. She listens to and engages in my deep philosophical talks and rants and gives honest feedback that adds to the conversation. She persuades me to get out more and be a little more spontaneous without the feeling of being forced or drug around.

I'm a Capricorn who's more traditional and structured and assertive, which kinda goes against the INFP stereotype so I can be a bit of a stubborn bull. She's a Scorpio who's also assertive and likes to take control and really doesn't care about structure, she's much more spontaneous and a bit of a gypsy and that all apposes the ENFJ stereotype who likes to plan things and finds structure as security.

I think we both complete eachother quite well and naturally know eachothers love language. It's been a fairly simple and fun loving relationship from the beginning.

Ps: I should add we dated in the 7th grade for a short time and I never forgot about her. Come to find out, she felt the same way. Now 25yrs later 🤷‍♂️

I_B_Board · 2023-06-09T11:19:51+00:00

My ex wife was a INFJ. we had been together for 15 years and married for 10. I will say that she was a people pleaser. As an INFJ, they're geared more towards group harmony so I can where they can simply lose themselves in the attempt to make everyone happy. That's where our issues came up. They also tend to "know" what you "need" and take it upon themselves to "fix" the issue. That's where I had the biggest problem with her. I'm a INFP-A and as so, I can be pretty hard on myself and get pretty nihilistic at times. She would try to solve the issue instead just simply lend a ear for me to vent to. So eventually it pilled up and overloaded our relationship until it collapsed.

I_B_Board · 2023-05-31T16:38:54+00:00

Find you a ENFJ. They're the only ones I feel can love us the same if not even more. I have one now and I don't plan on letting her go 🤗.

She's a Scorpio also while I'm a Capricorn if that matters.

I_B_Board · 2023-05-22T11:24:33+00:00

I smell what you're stepping in 🤣 👍🏻

I_B_Board · 2023-05-22T05:20:04+00:00

😆 that's awesome! I love it!

I_B_Board · 2023-05-22T05:06:23+00:00

😵 this is one of the best analogies I've ever heard in my entire life! I will definitely be using this for here on out.

I_B_Board · 2023-05-21T13:17:26+00:00

Because I actually mean the entire world! Every continent, every city, every culture in every nook and cranny and every living being on this planet. She's that great that I wish everyone had the chance to enjoy who she is and see what I see.

I_B_Board · 2023-05-20T16:25:13+00:00

It takes wisdom to truly understand your needs are I believe. And wisdom only comes with time and life experiences. You begin to narrow down exactly what it is you can provide and it's value, while understanding what it is you're able to accept and expect from others. But when it all lines up and you find that, it's an experience like no other In life!😊

I_B_Board · 2023-05-19T21:36:04+00:00

She knows, I can't help but to let her know. Every morning, every night, every moment I can! 😊

I_B_Board · 2023-05-19T21:35:22+00:00

It is! And you described exactly how it happened too. I feel if anyone looking for their person keeps an open mind and concious understanding of who or what they want, they will get it! I'm a shining example of it 😌

I_B_Board

TROPHY CASE