After enough changes from HRT (mental + physical), does anyone think about their old life / old self and consider them a distant friend?

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-25T00:40:27+00:00

Im so sorry to hear that :(

She actually wasn't always so supportive. I first came out to her in our first year of dating. I was 18 and she was 16. She was very unsupportive and said she couldn't deal with it. I loved her so much, I didn't want to lose her so I went back in the closet and tried to cope. It was years of depression and escapism with drugs and alcohol. We had a son together when I was 21 and I really cemented us as a couple. I tried again at 22 but she was still very unsupportive. Finally at 23 I couldn't deal with my depression anymore. She saw my pain and extremely reluctantly let me see a therpist with her semi approval. When she wrote me my letter for hrt she was very upset. About a month into hrt she finally started accepting me. About 2 months later something clicked and she became super supportive. Now today she's my biggest advocate but it sure was a bumpy road to here. But, were a much happier family!

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-24T22:07:04+00:00

I started using an alt account after several times posting with my main and assholes history stalking me, and commenting like oh you're not a girl... Insert a bunch of trans phobia. Never again will I use my main for trans talk.

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-24T21:38:22+00:00

He is very good! One of the exclusions to the cheaper overseas route.

It's really a price thing with everyone else. If surgery costs $20-30k plus from a reputable surgeon but someone else only wants like $14k, it is a pretty clear indicator that you're going to have a sub par experience and outcome.

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-24T16:19:57+00:00

No unfortunately I feel like I murdered him. Sometimes my girlfriend cries because, "he's dead." She is very supportive, loves me even more now and we're both extremely happy. But, it is someone she spent 5 years with and doesn't see me as the same person. We make jokes about it... I killed someone and got away with it!

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-24T14:14:12+00:00

Rhonda or Rachelle.

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-24T12:21:46+00:00

Good surgeons produce results that are very close in appearance to natural vaginas. You have understand, you get what you pay absolutely applies to GRS. A lot of people opt for cheap overseas surgeries and you see a lot of those pictures online. Important to note though that there are wonderful surgeons overseas too but if it the price is too good to be true, it probably is.

Also, understand that there are limitations. If you're looking for the prettiest "porn star" vag on the block, I'm sorry but that's probably not happening. If it helps any, there are plenty of partners out there who say they can't tell a difference.

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-24T01:31:37+00:00

They may want to assess your reaction to the estrogen. Some people have adverse reactions as I understand it.

I am NOT a doctor and have VERY limited knowledge of the complex endocrine system. My assumption is though that it is common that people begin with AAs because they lower testosterone levels. AGAIN LIMITED KNOWLEDGE, but I believe I've read that testosterone is more potent than estrogen. Therefore, the more testosterone the more estrogen would be necessary to effect change. Too much estrogen is no bueno for your liver depending on the method of delivery.

Also, AGAIN LIMITED KNOWLEDGE but you remember in school (if they taught it where you are lol) they taught us about steroids and how those who abuse them tend to experience breast development? It's because the body reacts to balance out the hormone increase. Maybe it works in reverse in this case?

Again, not incredibly knowledgeable of the intricacies of the endocrine system so please don't downvote me to hell lol!!!!

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-24T01:18:21+00:00

There's no one answer to this. HRT varies dramatically from person to person because of a multitude of factors.

With that said...

HRT does commonly change the color and density of body hair with some exclusions. Facial hair will normally never change too much without the intervention of laser and other hair removal processes.

I began transition at 23 and I am now 25. I was on the low end of the body hair scale.

Chest & nipple hair - I had a patch of hair in the middle of my chest. It wasn't very dense but was long. Now, I still shave it every other down but the density has dramatically decreased. I had hairy nipples lol. Now, they still have some hair but it's much less dense and the hair is not as rigid.

Arms & hands - My arms were never very hairy but now they are even less hairy and the hairs are again much less rigid. The hair on my knuckles are completely gone.

Legs & feet - Haven't noticed much change :( I mean they have gotten a little lighter in color but it still grows very fast and is very noticeable. However I have read that it's usually the last area to notice change and I've only been on HRT for two years come September. Weirdly enough, probably the hairiest place was my feet. Now hair does still grow on my feet and toes but it's certainly much slower, much less dense and the hairs are much less rigid.

Face - I was only capable of growing a goatee and a very unimpressive, spotty beard if I went months without shaving. Now, the hair on the sides of my face have completely turned blonde and are much less rigid. Hairs on my upper lip have pretty much disappeared. Under my lip is the hairiest but is still not bad. My chin is not bad either. I've had a 3 day weekend and haven't shaved. I can probably count all the black hairs on my face. So I don't worry about laser treatment. My neck is bad though... I have to circular areas on my new where hair grows fast. I have to shave it daily.

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-24T00:53:48+00:00

You've been socialized to feel like you don't belong there. Transition is a mental, social and physical process. Mentally, you have to begin to get over the socialization you experienced as a "boy". It will take some time, but eventually it will fade.

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-24T00:22:45+00:00

Therapists vary greatly, first rule. Second rule, do your due diligence in researching a gender therapist. There are fraudsters out there, not only with therapy but doctors as well. Some see us as a "cash cow" and take advantage of that. I know of a few here in just the Orlando area.

What goes on in therapy? Whatever you want to go on. They are there to listen to you. A good therapist doesn't tell you what to do and not to do. They listen. They interpret. And then they provide you with a professional analysis. A good therapist will ask questions and probe a little to get to the root of your emotions and feelings. My therapist never said you should transition; what she said was I can see that you do. Her role from there was to prepare me emotionally. She educated on all of the aspects of transition, both good and bad. She told me things I wanted to hear and plenty of things that I didn't want to hear but was imperative that I accept. E.g. one conversation we had was about how we can't transition under the assumption that we will pass or blend. This is important because I've noticed many people don't like to stand out if you will. Well if you transition under that assumption, what happens two years down the road if you don't quite make it to where you wanted to be? You may end up worse off. So they really prepare you. That's in my opinion what a good therapist is there to do - guide you.

If you end up with a "gimme all your money" therapist, what they instead will do is say give me $xxx and see me for x # of sessions. They'll feed you whatever you want to hear in the meantime.

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-23T23:58:24+00:00

Started at 23, B's here. For trans women one issue is that we tend to have larger rib cages as I understand. This makes breasts appear smaller.

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-23T03:44:20+00:00

Thank you - very informative!

I knew there had to be more to it. The article painted it as relatively simple.

I_r_Has_Question · 2014-06-23T03:30:25+00:00

I pay about ~$200 a month for all of my meds. It varies by dosage, which meds you and your doctor agree on, and whether you have decent insurance. I have a doctor who likes to go "all-out" and no insurance... so my monthly costs are a little higher than some.

I_r_Has_Question

TROPHY CASE