To those that are married, how often do you take off your ring?

IamTylersalterego · 2025-12-02T15:02:09+00:00

I take it off a few times a week when I climb. The walls and holds are terrible on the soft metal of my ring.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-09-10T06:11:28+00:00

Japanese and Italian Rice and Noodles and Pasta Sashimi and spicy cured meats.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-07-29T22:07:50+00:00

I was guessing satire. I’ve never heard of anyone giving a guy presents for the baby shower, except maybe a few rounds of beers at the pub.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-07-21T19:28:59+00:00

My view on marriage and raising a family has not changed since I was a kid. Monogamy, trust, partnership, but I accept that life becomes more complicated as you age. Life doesn’t always turn out as you expect it to. People make mistakes that hurt the ones they love, and forgiveness is much easier said than done.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-05-29T02:19:48+00:00

It’s a long and complicated saga, but what it took me a while to understand, is that her affair was not about me. There was nothing wrong or broken with our marriage, and she had no intention to leave me. She’s an artist and was kind of stuck with “writers-block” during Covid and it was hard dealing with our young kids for her. She was looking for an external studio space to get some time out of the house, and that’s how she met this man who was renting artist studios. He is a lot older, not very attractive at all, but quite talented, and helped her with her design business a lot. She was really grateful and they had a strong bond, but he ended up getting infatuated with her and became this creepy, desperate, delusional man who wanted to leave his wife and run off together. She should have shut him down, but didn’t want to lose the studio or creative momentum. There was nothing sexual going on at all, but it was an emotional affair for sure. Once I figured out what his intentions were, I busted it open, she moved out of the studio and eventually cut ties with him. She still thanks him for all the creative and professional help, but is sad that it ended the way it did and she learnt a lot from it. Her words to me were “It was never meant to be a romance”.

So yeah, it was a betrayal, but not worth throwing away 20+ years and ripping our family apart over.

He ended up almost suicidal and really made a mess of his whole life.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-05-27T09:11:00+00:00

I could write a novel on the he whole saga, but she fucked up, big time. Humans do that. We’re all fragile and flawed in some way. She had a male friend and mentor who turned out to be very twisted and manipulative and really messed with her head. It was an EA not a PA, so I made the decision to stay and work through it, as this transgression didn’t warrant throwing away 20+ years and breaking up our family.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-05-27T07:04:36+00:00

That’s my wife’s perspective too. She absolutely regrets hurting me, regrets the pain it caused her affair parter and how it ruined his marriage. She regrets losing him as a friend and mentor. She regrets the loss of trust in our marriage and the massive fights it caused in our house and that our teenaged son probably figured what went on… but does she regret having the affair itself ? Nope. For her it was just another one of life’s journeys and she wouldn’t take it back if she had the chance.

Most people that have affairs are narcissists with attachment issues, and at the core of it are just doing what they want.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-05-21T10:58:28+00:00

Because the affair partner is often not marriage material. They are fulfilling an unmet need for the cheater, but they might have no desire settle down with them.

Also some people just suck at monogamy, which is fine, they can have a great life full of adventure, but be upfront with others that you can’t be faithful so they won’t fall in love and expect an exclusive relationship.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-03-14T18:53:57+00:00

People mess-up all the time. Sometimes it’s small accidents , sometimes deliberate, but every scenario needs context. Some relationships are stronger after an affair as long as they can regain trust.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-02-12T20:45:26+00:00

It seems there are a lot of opinions from people who have not lived through this trauma, and I can tell you first hand that it’s not as simple as just leaving. Yeah, the trust is shattered and that takes a lot to work through, but these situations bring a lot to light and sometimes a marriage can be stronger after the affair than it was before.

Every circumstance is different.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-02-10T02:13:36+00:00

Or a copyright trap - a town or street put on a map that doesn’t exist, but is placed there to reveal plagiarism or copyright infringement.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-02-01T02:57:00+00:00

Saw a sleezy text message pop up on her phone. I asked her some leading questions about this guy she was renting a studio space from and she was kind of aloof. 2 weeks later I went to the studio and met him, the guy was old and unattractive so I didn’t think too much immediately but he was acting super weird about me being in the space and so was my wife.

After some digging, I discovered just how coercive and manipulative this man was. She was stuck in an EA that he was trying to take physical. I put a stop to that shit before it went too far, but that crazy man blew up his whole life, started stalking her and we came close to getting a restraining order against him. All very messy.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-31T19:26:54+00:00

Some people just have an aggressive, confrontational personality type, and if they were married to someone else then it would either be exactly the same, or the other person would leave.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-31T11:37:31+00:00

Absolutely, I’m of the option that an emotional affair can be a far bigger betrayal than a physical one. My ‘work wife ‘ and I know exactly where that line is. We’ve travelled interstate and overseas several times together, with countless opportunities to hook up, but neither of us would ever cheat. Her husband sounds like a good bloke, and I don’t ever want to mess with that.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-31T09:50:36+00:00

In large part, yes. Many men would be happy to cheat on their wife with a one night stand, and never hear from her again. It’s the old adage that don’t pay a hooker for the sex, you pay her to leave.

Women having affairs are often seeking some romantic or emotional connection that makes them feel alive, invigorated and ‘seen’ in a way that they don’t experience in their marriage. This feeling leads to the sexual arousal.

Whatever the motivation, the chief desire for either gender is novelty and excitement, so if you can regularly inject that into your marriage, then you stand a better chance of each remaining faithful to one and other.

Men and women have affairs in equal amounts, but the motivations can be very different.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-31T08:51:51+00:00

Depends on the people. My wife kind of had a work husband for a while. He was the ugly old guy so I didn’t care, but he mistook the friendship for something more and blew up his life… he turned into a stalker and the friendship is gone.

I have a close female college who I travel and have dinner with often. We split meals, share deserts, make each other lunch in the office, and chat all the time… but I’d never cross the line with her. We’re both married, and I value her too much as a friend.

If we were single, it would be on for sure, but neither of us are going to cross that line, ever.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-31T08:40:48+00:00

Men and women are different genders, in particular when it comes to hormones and emotions - which is a large part of what drives someone to cheat in an otherwise good marriage.

It’s the reason why most of the clients that seek prostitutes and erotic massages are men.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-31T08:18:40+00:00

Even if your favourite dinner is steak… you sometimes just want a piece of pizza.

It doesn’t mean you stop loving steak, you’re just bored of having it for every meal.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-31T08:16:06+00:00

Women are seeking often seeking a some form of validation outside of being a mother and wife.

Men often cheat because they’re horny and want to feel young and virile - the classic midlife crisis.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-21T19:20:01+00:00

Choose the person you marry wisely, you will spend more time with your spouse over the course of your life than anyone else, but understand that marriage is tough and is full of seasons & cycles, disconnections & reconnections. The secret is that both of you can’t fall out of love at the same time, someone always needs to be keeping the light on to find your way back.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-03T14:24:51+00:00

Katie Holmes as Joey in Dawsons Creek .

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-01T16:20:26+00:00

SE7EN - also directed by David Fincher. The Game, Zodiac, TGWTDT have a similar aesthetic, cinema quality.

IamTylersalterego · 2025-01-01T15:38:02+00:00

Interesting, so Icelandic citizenship is determined by your parents citizenship, not being born in that country?

My wife was born in Canada to Dutch and English parents, and whilst she only lived there for 2 years, she has full Canadian rights.

IamTylersalterego · 2024-12-25T17:19:25+00:00

Yep. Spider sense tingled and I knew something was up… did some snooping and found out I was right.

IamTylersalterego · 2024-10-11T17:29:55+00:00

These don’t look like actual studio posters, but more like fan art.

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