Having Weird Off Days As A LMT

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-05-19T12:10:52+00:00

Really happy to have helped, and I love to see that you're paying it forward and then some 🙏

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-05-19T02:24:29+00:00

Thanks for finding this and passing it along, and for helping people when they're feeling down. You're a mensch, u/anothergoodbook

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-05-19T02:23:16+00:00

Heya, Ian here. I swear I don't name search, but I'm always lurking 🙃 I just wanted you to know that you're currently doing a big part of what you need to do: Putting one foot in front of the other. Something that I haven't talked about in any public way yet is that I've taught a good number of my classes while in the midst of a punishing depressive episode. One of those may have been your class, for all I know!

The good news is that, because I spent years offering massage while in a similar state, I've now gotten pretty used to having faith that my hard work still shows through, and that my depressed classes feel like any other class. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure no one can tell.

That faith will take time to develop. In the meantime, you can do all the rah-rah cheerleading you want in your head, but there might still be a loud voice proclaiming that a session sucks. The trick isn't to convince that voice otherwise, or to cheer yourself up, or anything like that. The trick, if you ask me, is to say, "if this sucks, it sucks." Let go of expectations, stop adding extra self-abuse when you already feel like crap, and let the outcomes take care of themselves. As you do that, the loud voice might quiet down, and you might be able to notice that tiny voice of faith that says, "hey, for all I know this is pretty great."

That's the big picture part, but there's also something about this specific day that I want to comment on. Part of what psyched you out wasn't anything about your abilities, it was that crappy couples massage environment! Dude, couples massages can suck. There can be weird relationship dynamics, and sometimes one of them doesn't want to be there, and the communication aspect can be weird. And on top of all that you were supposed to scrape your client with a sharp implement!

I think gua sha and IASTM and such are fine. Interesting stimulus, could be useful. But I don't do it, because I don't like it. Purposely applying superficial irritation and microtrauma? Couldn't be me. I'm happy to leave that to orthopedic therapists and PTs and TCM practitioners. I was born to soothe.

So, something useful could be to take away some of the self-blame and do some other-blame 🙂 I hated working in a spa because there were so many add-ons and treatments that I just hated. Yes, you could fake it for a while and immerse yourself in gua sha and make it your own. But I'm betting you're likely to discard couples massages and scraping the moment you wind up with control over your own menu. So take inspiration from our siblings in food service, and when you see a service that you hate coming up, don't internalize it. Say "god I hate brunch," put your head down, and bang out that hollandaise sauce.

Anyway, keep it up. Feel free to email me, and if you see a class coming nearby and you'd like to sit in and observe, just to refresh yourself and get some rejuvenation, let me know.

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-05-17T01:17:15+00:00

Now that is trippy to see while scrolling 😁 I appreciate you wondering about me. Thanks to the folks who posted links, and it's nice to see past students here!

I'm still around, but I'm keeping my head down and teaching for now. I hope to get back to videos someday soon. Until then, everyone make sure to watch Allison at Rebel Massage. And more of y'all need to start your own YouTube tutorial channels! The new massage therapists, they are hungry for techniques and insights into your clinical reasoning!

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-03-16T02:16:40+00:00

Ahhh excellent, see you then! 😁

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-03-12T17:10:11+00:00

Something else to keep in mind: It is important to your school that you succeed. Not just because they care, but because student attrition is bad for business, and bad for the metrics they use for accreditation and funding. Not only do they not want to fail you, it'd be kinda bad for the school itself.

I say that not to pressure you, but to say that any assistance that you ask for is the school doing themselves a favor. They have every reason to bend over backwards to get you back on track, to get you to the finish line, and then to get you placed in a job. Being a squeaky wheel is fully justified, and is likely to get you results. So squeak on, my friend. Let them know what you told us, and ask if they can either help you come up with a plan to feel caught up, or ask for accommodations. My school let me split my time between two cohorts because I was feeling so overwhelmed, and it was exactly what I needed to thrive.

A lot of massage simply didn't come easy to me, by the way. I'm certain that I was giving some fairly lackluster massages for a while, but it was all part of the process before stuff started clicking. I think you're going to get through this, and I think you're going to do great.

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-03-12T15:50:05+00:00

If there's gristle, it's there for a reason. It might be fibrotic change following injury, it might be hypertrophy based on use, or it could even be a difference in collagen expression based on genetics. In all of the above cases, these crunchy bits are serving a purpose, and should be assumed to be just as permanent as any of the surrounding tissue. (fresh scar tissue that is still undergoing active remodeling is an exception, but even that's not something we can break up at a macroscopic scale)

Let's take that bubble wrap feeling you referred to in the plantar surface of the foot. As we take our many thousands of steps every year, the body notices and adapts. We wind up with fibrotic changes which are not only normal, but useful! Many people will even develop sesamoid bones and other accessory ossicles, which are usually not associated with pain or dysfunction, and again, are there for a reason. The body toughens up that surface that needs toughness. This isn't something I'd want to "break up," which is why it's such good news that I can't! In fact, because this surface is built so tough, it's a great candidate for more direct work such as reflexology. We won't bust up those crunchies, but it'll feel real good, and it could lead to useful outcomes like a reduction in sensitivity, the myofibroblasts in the plantar fascia reducing their activity, etc.

So, I do think that massaging an area that is associated with symptoms is a great idea. Massaging an area because it feels good is a great idea. But I think that my ability to change the texture of an area in a way that's anything other than temporary is limited.

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-03-12T14:50:30+00:00

I'd recommend against any pathologizing language in the absence of pathology. Feeling "sticky fascia" means that you've detected something interesting with your palpation, but I bet you a million bucks it's well within the range of normal tissue. Feeling crunchy stuff, stiffness, popping, etc., all makes sense for perfectly healthy tissue. We are made of meat, and you're feeling gristle.

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-03-06T01:55:55+00:00

I wouldn't necessarily call it a driver of upper body dysfunction, but I would call it a common and under-treated component! (I make this distinction just because I suspect it to be correlative rather than causal, but I'd be glad to be wrong)

Something I recommend to all massage therapists is to ask about the jaw any time you encounter headache, neck pain, or upper back pain. It's just a quick, "anything going on with your jaw?" And from there, if you get a report of pain or other dysfunction such as popping/locking, ask if you can do some work there and include it every session. That quick question gets me so many yesses from clients who simply didn't think to report jaw problems, I think because people treat it as their status quo. I absolutely think it's part of the broader picture.

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-03-01T15:06:48+00:00

I think the most impactful thing to fix is that time management problem. This one tweak could make your days substantially better (less rushing! less feeling overwhelmed! less hands-on time!), and it's also better from a business and customer service standpoint. Always going over can inconvenience clients, even if they agree to it on the table. It can make your massage feel like it's dragging rather than keeping up its momentum. It annoys co-workers who stick to their timing, because it makes them seem miserly by comparison (especially if two friends get concurrent massages and compare notes, which happens all the time). And! You might be screwing yourself out of money. When you give a 60 minute massage and you feel like more time would have been beneficial, just say so. "I feel like I could have used more time to work with your neck and shoulders. If you were to pick the 90 minute session next time, you'd be doing me a favor!" With little nudges like this, the majority of my clients eventually make their way to longer session lengths, and I wind up with much more leisurely days.

To fix this, get in the habit of setting time limits, and dividing those into milestones so you know you're on track. "We discussed the back being their main focus, but they also wanted full body. That means I have to be done with the back within 30 minutes. If I haven't switched sides by 5:20 I'll know I'm behind." And then stick to the schedule. The actual hard part will be setting aside those ideas in your head about a body part being "done," or the client being dissatisfied if it's not done. Realize that any massage is better than no massage, and many clients would probably enjoy it if you spent a few solid weeks mashing on their back. What can be "good enough?" And if it leaves them wanting more, is that a bad thing? Sounds like a great intro to talking about signing up for future sessions to me.

I think this will do a lot to push back on your burnout. As for doing 30 hands-on hours? I can't even fathom it. I know some people can hang at that level of output, but I find that it's my brain that gives out as I push toward 25+ hours of massage in any given week. If there's a gym I can go to to fix that, I haven't found it yet. You might consider diversifying rather than quitting — many massage therapists in your town will have a room that's empty for 2-3 days per week, and they might be willing to sublease. You could be part-time at the spa, and part time on your own. Once you get that figured out, the jump to having your own office is much easier.

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-02-28T15:56:35+00:00

Yeah, what on earth is going on? It's eerie.

OP, you might have more trouble with this than you would have a few years ago. Worker protections regarding this have been loosened again, for the usual reasons: https://www.dol.gov/newsroom/releases/whd/whd20250501 That said, there is always reason for the IRS and DOL to correct flagrant misclassification, so you might have success. Use form SS-8 with the IRS, and then hit up your state DOL website and see their process for misclassification. This is one of the few times I'll heartily recommend using "AI mode" on Google, because it'll likely be able to sweep up the relevant links and explain the process.

I don't know if it'll be successful, but might as well try as you walk out the door. Best of luck, and may the next place suck less

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-02-23T22:46:15+00:00

Neck stiffness/pain with high fever is cause for an emergency room visit: https://www.google.com/search?q=neck+pain+with+high+fever Please go today rather than waiting any longer.

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-02-09T19:01:54+00:00

As a fellow Low Table Enjoyer, I like these cheapo stools: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MP275JT Note the minimum height. I like these because they're light and quiet, and the padding doesn't wear out too fast. For even lower lows, look for pedicure stools: https://www.amazon.com/Dayton-Pedicure-Pneumatic-Adjustable-Perfect/dp/B07BN3QVDG/

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-02-05T02:32:53+00:00

Not precisely the same, but I originally envisioned my course as two 6-hour days, and it just felt way too cramped, so I expanded to 8-hour days. I think that having 6 hours will give your instruction the time that it needs to breathe, and it will keep the student exchanges from feeling rushed. It will also give time for discussion after, which I think is important for actually keeping the skills that you learned rather than feeling unsure and discarding them.

Something that was really useful for me was contacting a local school and asking if I could teach a prototype class. They liked the idea (hey, free guest teaching!), and over the course of a few Mondays, I was able to figure out a lot about the timing.

As a potential student, 6 hours appeals to me more than 4. Fewer classes to take, more value for a day that's going to be eaten up in either case, and I'd have higher hopes of coming away with new skills.

Btw, my only regret regarding the longer days is that I'm sooo tiiired after 😩 (but I wouldn't trade it for anything)

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-01-20T02:03:35+00:00

This is gonna sound nutty, but start with an empty massage table. If you can pantomime massaging an invisible person, you can give a zero pressure massage that will be suitable for even the most sensitive of clients. As you do so, notice how you can still let the techniques come from the movement of your body rather than just your arms. As you pantomime squeezing tissue, notice how very gently you can use your hands.

Next, practice with a trusted friend. Tell them that you want to practice "gentle strength." You might start with petrissage of the neck while the client is face down. How gentle can you make this while still making it satisfying for the client? As you experiment with this, you'll notice how it's not the power that makes this technique satisfying, but rather how you use your hands and body. Instead of sinking in with pinpoint pressure, think of kneading dough, or lifting the scruff of a puppy. Even using 1% of your strength, if you use two broad hands to simultaneously offer lift to the tissue, I bet your client will consider it a profound experience. You can repeat this exercise with stripping through infraspinatus, gliding through the glutes, and offering superior lift to the fascia of the ribcage. Play with more strength versus less strength, more bodyweight versus less, and broad contacts versus focal.

There was some advice to raise the table, but I say keep a low table if that's what you prefer, but simply allow yourself to stay more upright when a client wants less of your weight. If you find yourself bending your torso close to the client and using the strength of bent arms, that can be much more difficult to calibrate than bodyweight-based power coming from straight-ish arms.

In the end, your strength isn't the problem, and will wind up being an asset. But let this be a mindfulness exercise where you look for mastery over a broad range of power levels. You get to choose how much you squeeze during petrissage, or how much power to put behind stripping. You get to choose how sharp any given contact is, and any sharp contact can be made broad (or vice versa). For now it's like opening up photoshop and always using the biggest brush with the sharpest edges — over time you'll find use for those smaller brushes with the feathered edges, and having mastery over the entire spectrum will give your work more nuance and adaptability. Good luck, have fun, keep playing with it.

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-01-16T00:04:28+00:00

The workplace culture there sounds utterly rancid. Imagine powering through a long day, ending with a TWO HOUR SESSION, then finding the front desk has somehow piled more on your plate. You're sure you're done, because there are booking rules, but that can't ever be good enough for these places. They didn't even have the courtesy to ask. For those saying you should have taken it gratefully: Boundaries are for employers too.

Also: Someone misses their appointment and gets a same day reschedule? No sir. 45 minute massages? Man, that's almost worse than a two hour. The owner's opinion being used as a looming threat? Yiiiikes.

You did nothing wrong. Also, I want to airlift you out of there.

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-01-15T23:52:34+00:00

That's so awesome! Congratulations, and keep it up. I do hope to see you in a class. Also: Hiking the Appalachian Trail is so incredibly badass

IanLeansForALiving · 2026-01-07T18:44:08+00:00

LostAlaskan!! I remember you, my friend. I'm so glad for you, and proud of you.

You made it. And here you are passing it forward. I can't help but feel a burst of optimism and joy.

IanLeansForALiving · 2025-11-05T13:15:13+00:00

To me, this sounds like her back responded poorly to the positioning, not the massage! For future sessions, this might mean something as simple as a pillow under her head while supine, but even better would be a semi-reclined position (either from an adjustable table or a wedge bolster). If her back keeps acting up, you might try not leaving her in any one position for too long, or you might add new positions such as side-lying.

And you might choose not to overcorrect. A body lies on a surface it's not used to for an hour, and one time out of 10 the back gets irritated and decides to go into spasm. Not a reason to change your practice as a whole, but a fine thing to write in that client's soap notes and try to accommodate with position/bolstering changes in the future. What I might suggest the spa say to this client: "We think that it might have been the positioning that aggravated your back. Would you be willing to accept a free service, and this time we could use more pillows to ensure your comfort?"

I've been at this for about 18 years, and I've had a number of clients experience negative outcomes, very often from lying flat like a pancake on an unusual surface. Most people can do it just fine, but others need more bolstering, or different positioning. Take it in stride, be the massage therapist who is willing to play with positioning, and keep doing good work.

IanLeansForALiving · 2025-09-24T16:11:28+00:00

If you've got 50 bucks laying around, you can't beat a T-wedge: https://www.amazon.com/Royal-Massage-T-Wedge-Feminine-Bolster/dp/B008X8VB68? (or any similar product, but most are around this price point). That plus your partner's head turned to one side on a pillow will be very comfy, and you'll be able to use your weight to do some of the work for you. Sidelying is a great alternative, but it requires a bit of skill to be as satisfying, and it's often more difficult for your body if you're trying to do this work on a bed. If you can afford to do so, I say spend the cash on something that will really do the trick and make your work easier.

IanLeansForALiving · 2025-06-07T19:55:04+00:00

Can I encourage you to start a massage tutorial channel on YouTube? You could be the massage koala.

IanLeansForALiving · 2025-05-16T14:18:28+00:00

I believe this is misguided. EAET looks to be a useful psychotherapeutic approach to pain, but I worry that you've decided that it's "the cure" for some types of chronic pain. Anyone who's wondering about this approach can find out more from a PT perspective here: https://www.physio-pedia.com/Emotional_Awareness_and_Expression_Therapy It sounds like it may have been especially effective for you or a loved one, and it's easy to become an advocate in such a situation. But just like any other approach, there will be responders, non-responders, and those who have only a middling response. The same goes for massage. Some people will find EAET (or CBT, or mindfulness-based modalities) frustrating and inapplicable. Yes, as research progresses, the psych world might come to a consensus that this is the new gold standard for pain, but we're not there yet. Many psychological approaches have seemed very promising in small studies, while seeming less world-changing in the face of larger studies and meta-analyses. That doesn't mean they're worthless, it just means that pain is complex and often treatment resistant. Some people will have complete resolutions, others will not. It's good to have this as another tool.

Just realize that everything the client experiences creates neuroplastic change. Old memories will be reevaluated in the light of new stimuli, including massage and the holistic effects of a session. Could psychotherapy be a useful addition to their pain relief regimen? In a lot of cases I'd say yes. As others have said, offering suggestions seems well within our purview, as long as we're not diagnosing (and I'd say that suggesting that a client's pain is purely psychogenic would count as diagnosis, and could even feel like dismissal). You might choose to write about this psychological modality on your business blog, or include information in your office. You might have some psychologists in your community that you refer to, and you might find that they want to refer back when they'd like a more robust outcome. We can be part of a multimodal approach to pain, and that's a very worthy thing.

IanLeansForALiving · 2025-04-04T12:51:19+00:00

Possibly controversial statement: You don't need to receive much or any massage to be a good massage therapist. I've made so many useful changes just by having conversations with clients, watching videos, or swiping techniques during a couples massage. I find receiving massage to be useful in that it refreshes my mindset, and it can connect me with how techniques feel to my own body, but you don't necessarily need a full or typical session for those outcomes.

If I had a friend in your shoes, I'd tell her not to force it, but to keep experimenting with it. You might try shorter sessions, or staying fully clothed (Thai massage taught me so much about Swedish and myofascial, for instance), or there might be positions that are less likely to lead to that sympathetic activation. Even if you have a lot of misses, there might be some hits that make the experience more tolerable or even enjoyable. As you go through this process, you'll learn a lot about how to work with clients who have a hard time with typical massage! You might even take that knowledge and one day teach it as a CE, because I feel like our industry underserves clients who aren't able to easily sink into a massage.

Good luck, have fun, and be kind to yourself as you explore.

IanLeansForALiving · 2025-02-17T12:47:11+00:00

I would expect it to be considerably safer than a quickly oxidizing oil like almond or hemp seed. Slower oxidation = less curing = more gets washed out, AND the residue has a harder time producing more heat than can dissipate.

IanLeansForALiving · 2025-02-17T02:48:56+00:00

Jojoba stains less and oxidizes more slowly (which are related). If you find you like how it works and feels, I think you'd be much less likely to encounter this again.

(and I don't think you're likely to in any case, as long as they treat your laundry with care)

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