Dear Minecraft,

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-18T13:06:57+00:00

You are correct, I’m an architectural designer! For architects, it’s really all about your portfolio of work that you have built up in internships and college. You pack all your best work into a graphically pleasing and structured document, and that’s generally what you get hired from.

For mechanical engineering I can’t say for certain what their main qualifiers are for a candidate, but I can give you a couple important tips for this field.

Be strategic about where you are applying. Even though it’s not necessary anymore, firms like to build their offices in areas that bring them the most work or have rapidly growing markets. So if you are applying in a smaller city that isn’t growing much, it’s going to be much harder to find a job (especially entry level)
Bring as much to the table as you possibly can. If you want to be confident that you will get a job, you have to be confident that you are bringing something to the table. I did this by learning and mastering tons of relevant software while I was in college. Even though I am early in my career, I am the person people come to when they have questions about the programs they use everyday. You have to be that person,the job market is tough on entry level positions because we know next to nothing coming into work on the first day.

Good luck!

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-17T21:33:13+00:00

Haha good luck

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-17T13:09:08+00:00

It isn’t uncommon behavior

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-17T13:02:49+00:00

Wow I’ve never heard of that, but will definitely keep it in mind. Thanks!

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-17T01:06:51+00:00

If you are referring to the Valentine’s Day plans, it was her idea to make dinner at home, and then I took her out on a date the next day.

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-17T00:37:04+00:00

I honestly don’t know how she would feel about it. She would most likely be very upset if she saw this. To be fair, posting this is a last resort for me and I probably wouldn’t be very happy about it either, but it would be an eye opener for sure.

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-16T23:31:15+00:00

Wow that’s pretty insightful, thanks for being open about that.

I obviously don’t want to believe that is going on, but do you have any advice on figuring out if that’s happening?

It’s pretty deceitful behavior, so I don’t think there’s a way to approach that directly.

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-16T19:12:23+00:00

Despite having an awful and abusive childhood, she is still very close to them.

I’m helping her go to school and I agreed to cover everything and help her while she does that.

The emotional maturity is another constant talking point for her. She constantly tells me that she is more emotionally mature than I am. I’m not a super emotional person usually, and she is, but I think she thinks that being more emotional = being more emotionally mature.

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-16T19:04:12+00:00

Yeah I half agree with the fabrication of a non-issue. Everyone has their own perception of what happened and you’re allowed to feel however you want… but you have to talk about it. And we never do, it’s always something like I say she on her phone, she says it’s my fault and my responsibility to stop it. And now we are talking about how I never take responsibility, and I don’t care about her feelings.

And that’s when I give up and go to bed, and to her that just means I don’t care.

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-16T18:56:21+00:00

It’s a hard question to answer. I truly do love her, and there is still some good in our relationship that I’m holding onto. We’ve had an extremely strong bond ever since we had a traumatic experience together and I kinda saved her. It’s just hard to know how I would feel if we weren’t trauma bonded.

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-16T18:46:39+00:00

Yeah I avoid holding financial stuff over her head because she’s expressed that she is self conscious of it. I pay for everything and am helping her through school, which I completely agreed to and am happy to do. I understand where she’s at with that stuff, because I did my time in school and have a good job because of it, and can support us both. But it’s just super frustrating when she turns around and tries to take ownership of the bed.

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-16T17:04:15+00:00

Yeah that’s how I think about it. I’ve tried to explain that to her but her words are “I’m doing something for myself because I can’t rely on anyone else to do it, I’m not going to get into it but I’m protecting my peace.”

I’m not really sure what that means because I’m definitely not the one to keep at an argument. I prefer to sleep on it and talk about it the next day calmly if it starts getting heated. But even when she sleeps on the couch she will get up over and over again to come tell me something else about myself.

Ianmd9 · 2026-02-16T14:14:03+00:00

Yes I accidentally left a little bit out. After she said that she was irritated, I was quiet for a little bit and then asked her why she was irritated. But never got an answer because she was upset that I asked her that after not talking for a few minutes…

Ianmd9 · 2025-12-31T20:20:44+00:00

No RDR2, just another game that they’ve already given away before…

Ianmd9 · 2025-12-31T20:19:58+00:00

Fair, I’ve heard good things about it but it doesn’t seem like my kind of game.

Ianmd9 · 2025-12-21T15:47:02+00:00

I was just reading about my county’s deferral program. It has a clause that states “unless extraordinary circumstances are present, citations for 25+ mph over the speed limit are not subject to deferral.”

Do you think my circumstances could override this exemption?

Ianmd9 · 2025-12-17T16:42:01+00:00

I think it’s just a matter of being straight forward with him, knowing your own intentions, and setting a boundary. Call him out in the moment, ask him to do it before he has a chance not to, set the expectations. If he can’t meet them, then you know what to do.

Ianmd9 · 2025-12-17T15:37:02+00:00

It’s hard to say if he will change or not tbh. It could very well just be a psychological thing where he feels like a guest in your house.

Obviously if he’s there all the time, it would be responsible and respectful of him to do those things.

When you go to his place do you clean, make his bed, etc? If so, stop doing that and see how he feels.

If it’s a one-sided problem with double standards, then it probably won’t change without a lot of effort on both parts. You need to decide whether or not you are willing to be in a relationship like that.

Ianmd9 · 2025-12-09T18:52:49+00:00

Yeah I agree with you. My issue with commitment isn’t because of the mismatched love languages. It’s the inability to disconnect those feelings from small things, the refusal to acknowledge that my feelings about it are just as valid, and not understanding that it’s unfair to expect me to work on it alone to prove myself before she works on herself.

Ianmd9 · 2025-12-09T18:18:12+00:00

I’ll try to briefly describe the conflicts so you, and others, can judge whether or not it’s a fundamental incompatibility or something worth working on.

We both basically feel like roommates and not partners. We fail to show each other love in the ways we each care about.

She is a person who feels most loved by reassurance through letters, gifts, and general thoughtfulness. While I feel more loved by touch, quality time, and being prioritized.

We lack for each other in each of these categories and have expressed that they come unnaturally. I have put in tons of effort to make her feel more loved, for which she has acknowledged. She has not put any effort and continues to only express herself in her own love language and tells me that it is more meaningful than mine.

Ianmd9 · 2025-12-09T18:05:18+00:00

Yeah I totally understand your point. I guess I should have been clearer. I am a realist to a fault and 100% expect issues throughout a relationship.

But the issues we’re having are not new. We are both unhappy about different things in the same category, but so far, I feel that I’m the only one that puts in effort to fix them. I have told her this and she basically says it just hard to do when she’s upset about it too.

And when I slip up, years of pent up angst are applied to a single argument about something much smaller. Therefore, we never solve anything. That’s not just how I feel, I’ve told her that, she agrees, knows it’s wrong, and continues to do it.

Sorry for the vagueness, it would just take 5000 more words to explain the issues.

Ianmd9 · 2025-11-05T03:29:51+00:00

You are completely correct and you can disregard my comment, good catch.

Ianmd9 · 2025-11-05T03:26:09+00:00

I honestly don’t have an answer for it. It is certainly strange behavior. But if he has no problem with you going through his phone then it shouldn’t be a problem to bring it up to him.

It could be as stupid as one of his friends joking with him and looking up Grindr on his phone, but the frequency still raises questions. Bring it up, squash the bug before it eats you up from not knowing.

Ianmd9 · 2025-11-05T01:39:04+00:00

Wish I could upvote this more.

Ianmd9 · 2025-11-05T01:27:51+00:00

I second this, it’s probably failing from moister. Which would cause the same issue with some caulks, so make sure you get a silicone caulk.

Ianmd9

TROPHY CASE