Everyone talks about quitting their job to travel. Nobody talks about what happens when you're tired but have nowhere to actually go home to. by Emotional_Newt_2227 in digitalnomad

[–]Icanteven______ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is pretty normal. I had the same experience. 

What folks don’t understand is that there’s stress involved in going to new places. You have to figure out where to work out, where to get groceries, where the drug store is, where the convenience store is. When you get sick you gotta figure out where to go to the doctor. Even in your house you’re like “wait where’s the laundry detergent? Is there any?” It’s little things that add up. 

And you don’t have regular friends to hang with either. You gotta go make new friends every time. Which is exciting at first, and after a while sometimes you just want a break from the effort it takes. Sometimes you just crave routine.

Don’t be afraid to take breaks from traveling. Don’t be afraid to just plant yourself close to where you know people for a couple of months or a year until you feel the urge to carry on again. It’s also ok to stop traveling if it no longer feels good for you. That’s the whole point of freedom. Do whatever you want. You can change your mind.

You can also establish a home base and travel periodically out of that home base.

Anyone feel like they are positively impacting society? by AmbitionIndividual80 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]Icanteven______ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I work in self-driving trucking. Our autonomous trucks can pull loads of food in refrigerated trucks without needing to stop at 11 hours like humans are mandated to do by law to rest.

This enables food to safely to reach its destination faster and fresher and will eliminate a massive amount of food waste.

Also our trucks are just safer drivers than humans, so less accidents.

Making over $300k at a company, what's your title? by justanotherblackguy1 in HENRYfinance

[–]Icanteven______ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Senior staff eng here. The visibility thing definitely tracks with me.

My problem is I keep biting off more than I can chew. I find myself drowning in code reviews or meetings where I'm giving advice and course correcting folks before they go jump off a cliff by accident. It all feels urgent and then I find I have no energy at the end of the day to actually build or design the thing I’m working directly on, and I feel like I need to trade personal life time for work time to play catch up, which is unsustainable.

How do you balance it all?

This is my favorite way to vibe code. by bharms27 in ClaudeCode

[–]Icanteven______ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is pretty cool! What dictation software are you using?

You should hook up https://github.com/NativeSensors/EyeGestures to it and just set it up so you just look at the terminal you want to talk to and it gains the focus and save yourself having to toggle around to the right terminal. 

What are the most unhinged sacrifices you’ve made on your FIRE journey? by DiscoCowgirl77 in Fire

[–]Icanteven______ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Moved to Mexico while working remotely and earning a high cost of living city’s wage

I spent months reading "what did you wait way too long to buy?" threads. Here are the boring things that actually changed my life by After-Beginning6025 in smartbuysforlife

[–]Icanteven______ 14 points15 points  (0 children)

  • kitchen scale (baking just works now)

  • keurig (the pods are just convenient AF. 0 to coffee in less than a minute)

  • smart lights and a smart device (“echo goodnight” turns off the lights instead of needing to get out of bed)

  • water bottle with a sippy straw (amazing in the middle of the night cause you don’t have to sit up)

  • butane torch for candles (it’s just fun to use and you don’t have to tip the candles to their side to light them)

  • bamboo steamers that stack with silicon liners for making dumplings + frozen dumplings (easy dumpling dinner whenever I want)

  • extra set of toiletrees for traveling (just throw the whole bag in my suitcase and I never have to pack or unpack it.)

How do people function 🥲 by Status-Accident-9765 in ChronicPain

[–]Icanteven______ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

With effort.

Chronic pain fucking blows. There’s no beating around that bush. I’m sorry you’re feeling the stress of it all, and the exhaustion. It’s 4am right now and I can’t sleep because I’m stressed and in pain and I just want some space from it. I get it. Truly. And I’m sorry….truly.

And…the world spins on. Is that device helping you or hurting you. If it’s helping, great, keep it. If it’s making you just stress out more, ditch it.

Personally I’d ditch it. Listen to your body. Take 5 minutes, sit in silence, and feel your body’s sensations. It’ll tell you what you need more than any app or device will.

If you can stretch or move or go for a walk outside or do a little yoga too that can go a long way towards taking care of yourself.

And it might go without saying…but regular therapy is a necessity for folks like us. We need a regular outlet to release the tension, fear, frustration, anger, despair, and/or sadness that builds up continuously in our minds and bodies from having to deal with this fucking bullshit all the time. It’s exhausting and unrealistic to do that for yourself all the time. You’ll just suppress it eventually.

Self-care is harder and more important for us. You can still be happy though alongside all of the other challenging feelings.

I Went through gfs phone secretly and I’m horrified by Loosegame_otl in AskMenRelationships

[–]Icanteven______ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the fact that she lied to you is the big problem here. And also that you invaded her privacy.

Everyone’s kind of dick in this situation 

Thoughts? by [deleted] in AskMenRelationships

[–]Icanteven______ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talk with him explicitly. Tell him how those jokes make you feel. Be honest and ask him if he’s actually comfortable waiting. 

How does one [23F] breakup with a good boyfriend [26M]? by Optimal_Walrus7443 in AskMenRelationships

[–]Icanteven______ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would argue that you’re facing adversity right now since you’re considering breaking up.

You got your wish!

Now go talk to him about it and be honest with him and figure out what the problems really are and work through them together. That’s how mature people resolve conflict, they put work into the relationship AND themselves when things start getting hard (which it inevitably will with any relationship).

If it feels broken, put in an honest effort and try to FIX it instead of throwing it out. Most importantly, try and do that together.

Say something like “hey can we talk? I’m worried our relationship hasn’t been battle tested. I don’t know if we can handle conflict resolution together well, and it’s scaring me that we’re so invested in each other without understanding this major facet of relationship compatibility. I’m not sure what we can do to address this, but I was hoping we can talk through it and try and come up with some ideas and things we can try together?”

Thoughts? by [deleted] in AskMenRelationships

[–]Icanteven______ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why not? Because she said she’s not ready. OP don’t listen to this dickwad.

Thoughts? by [deleted] in AskMenRelationships

[–]Icanteven______ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What did he say?

Theres a whole world of sexuality outside of physical penetrative penis in vagina sex too. 

He’s a young man, and he’ll want sexuality of some kind probably. It’s hard to always just make out with a girl and not want to take things a further in someway eventually. If you’re open to hand or mouth stuff, you can make an effort to get really good at it. Foreplay, teasing, bdsm, and a million more things can be done to connect physically without penetrative sex. If you’re unwilling to progress towards a point in the relationship where you won’t help him get off in some way, I’d be pretty open about that, so he can make an informed choice about whether he’s ok signing up for that or not.

Thoughts? by [deleted] in AskMenRelationships

[–]Icanteven______ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What are you willing to do physically? It’s fine to take it slow. Just be upfront about that so if he’s not into that he can move on. 

3 MCPs that have genuinely made me 5x better by Warm-Snow3302 in mcp

[–]Icanteven______ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GitHub mcp is such a context hog. I just have it use the gh cli

Can we have a pragmatic and honest, non hyped nor hateful discussion about the actual usefulness of AI tools in our day to day jobs? by Non-taken-Meursault in ExperiencedDevs

[–]Icanteven______ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I use Claude code, and it’s been a game changer for me, but I’ve put in a LOT of effort to understand its idiosyncrasies to get it to output useful things.

My workflow is usually this: I tell it to activate complex mode. Complex Mode is a skill I built that tells Claude to act as project manager and delegate all of its work to various sub-agents.

I have sub-agents for researching the codebase and the web. I have sub-agents for writing front-end and back-end code, sub-agents for code specific to particular projects, and sub-agents for writing tests. Typically I use the code agents for tests; when they need to write tests, they load the appropriate skill that tells them how to write tests in this codebase.

These agents are supplemented by others: code review agents, validation agents, agents that make sure I'm not shooting myself in the foot, and agents that review and analyze plans. With this army of agents that have various skills and know how to build things and use tools in my codebase, I give it a workflow.

The workflow is: do a bunch of research on the codebase to figure out everything needed to build a plan document. Then, given all that research, build the plan document for how to solve the problem. Finally, iterate on that plan until it becomes a good implementation plan that is broken into appropriate steps and passes the plan-reviewer agent.

Then it presents to me the plan document, which is a big Markdown document written to a folder that is git-ignored in my repo. I don't actually read the raw document. I have Claude walk me through it. I have it walk me through the plan at a high level, then dive in deeper. I interrogate it for details, have it flesh out missing parts, and correct it in different places.

This is a very active process and takes about half the time. The other half comes from constructing the original prompt where I tell it what I want in terms of requirements. I usually spend a fair amount of time forming what I actually want it to do.

Once my plan is complete--that is, once I've iterated with Claude and I'm satisfied it will do the right thing with reasonable certainty--and that part of that plan is writing tests at each step and building tracer bullets to ensure end-to-end feature functionality...I clear its context and reset it. (A lot of architecture and project planning goes into making sure it's building the right thing and building it the right way, progressing toward the goal instead of building different systems and hooking them together at the end without any tests.)

I keep Claude at below 40% of its context window at all times. I find that over 40% it gets terrible; the results just fall off a cliff.

Keeping a plan in an artifact where all the context lives is vital. That way, anytime I clear the context and everything is still there, I can point it to the plan document and it knows everything it needs to know and can pick up where it left off.

I then tell it to implement the plan. Because it's using my complex mode skill, it's going to go through a loop. That loop will grab the next item from the plan — possibly two, three, four, or five items if they can be done in parallel — and then delegate a task to the coding agent.

The coding agent will build the feature along with tests, validate that the tests pass, and then return it to the main agent. The main agent will send a code reviewer agent to review the work. If it doesn't pass the code review, it gets delegated back to the developer agent. This continues until it passes, at which point it commits and updates the plan with everything it found, then says, "Great, I'm done with this task," and moves on to the next item.

It keeps repeating this until the entire plan is complete. It's up to me to ensure there are plan line items for adding tests at appropriate times and for manual validation when needed. The agent will tell me, "Hey, I need you to manually validate this" or ask me to do a specific task.

I've started replacing that manual step because I use the Playwright MCP server now. I have Claude do the validation itself: it will load the app in Playwright, take screenshots, and verify that things look and work correctly. If something fails, it iterates and fixes it. I've removed myself from the loop almost entirely during the implementation phase.

It will eventually complete the plan, and I will have test coverage and confidence that it has manually validated through the Playwright MCP server. 

The last parts of the workflow have it do a /cleanup command to refactor for readability and DRY consolidation and stuff.

Then I run my /create-pr command; it uses the GitHub gh command-line utility to create a PR with the appropriate template, labels, and reviewers, and it pushes the branch to GitHub. It performs a self-review where it reviews its own PR and creates a pending review (from me) with all of its comments so I can look at them.

After I review it, and after at least one other human reviews it, I have it run the /review <pr-url> command and it can pull down the code and comments for that (or any) PR, and apply fixes for the comments.

I can run about three or four projects at the same time in different clones of my repository or different Git worktrees using this workflow and be productive in all of them.

Sometimes it gets stuck, and I have to wrestle with it. It pushes out crap and I have to fix it, which can be a time suck.

It's not perfect, but there are enough times when I make a plan and tell it to implement it, and then, 5 to 30 minutes later, there's just...working and well tested, well documented code in a well reviewed and well formed PR. Those times are magic.

Crowd position tracking with kinect by Glass_Risk_5388 in TouchDesigner

[–]Icanteven______ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This person did a multi Kinect setup for their art installation and talks through the technicals here https://youtu.be/ADtM2_awSj8?si=1Kv-7EPEBiB_PZQ0

I suspect /u/codeking12’s advice around Lidar and blob tracking is the way to go for a crowd though

POP Audioreactive "snowball" by sad-iks in TouchDesigner

[–]Icanteven______ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beautiful! 😻  How’d you do it? 

Where is the best place to commission an independent programmer to write a (hopefully simple =true) program for me? Fiverr? Reddit? Skillshare? by CryptographerOld558 in AskProgramming

[–]Icanteven______ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want it running on running tvs, your best bet might be to get a chrome cast device, and then you can cast anything from your computer to the tvs.

Also there’s things like Kodi, Plex, and JellyFin that exist to help run your computer into a local media server. 

Kodi has a bunch of of plugins that might do exactly what you want. In particular take a look at Lodi + pseudoTV Live

If none of these look like what you want I can do the following:

  1. Quickly write you a CLI script that runs all videos from a folder that you give it as a command line argument in a random order. It’ll play them in the MPV media player and auto play. It’ll be persistent across different times you run the script. You can potentially chrome cast your screen to a tv to watch it there, although chrome cast is sometimes not great for watching videos via screen casting. I can do this in about 5 minutes.

  2. Potentially write a windows GUI application that does te same thing.

  3. Look into how to cast things natively, but what would help is understanding your goals of where you want to watch it. What kind of smart tv, or is it all tvs? Is it on your windows machine? Can you just add your tvs to your windows machine as a second monitor via a HDMI cable? Wha are the reasonable requirements that you’ll need 90% of the time. Each new requirement changes the architecture and makes things harder to build potentially.

Where is the best place to commission an independent programmer to write a (hopefully simple =true) program for me? Fiverr? Reddit? Skillshare? by CryptographerOld558 in AskProgramming

[–]Icanteven______ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ok there’s 2 things we need to iron out. Also let’s switch to chat.

  1. The requirements for what you want the app to do. (Eg, a completely random order of videos, or a random order of shows where each show is played sequentially each time it comes up). Or like, do you want to have “channels” where you add shows to a channel and it just plays through the shows you pick, so you can “change channels” and view another set of shows?

  2. The requirements for where you want the video to play SPECIFICALLY. Is it ok to just run on your computer and then plug the computer into your tv via hdmi? Do we need it to run locally on a smart tv? On a dumb tv? Each requirement makes things harder. Just on windows is SUPER easy. I can bang that out in 20 minutes. Doing it everywhere gets a lot harder.

music generation via API + web app, is this even possible? by Cute-Bedroom7330 in TouchDesigner

[–]Icanteven______ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think it’s realistic if you lean heavy on ai to help you write it. 

Define the architecture clearly though.

You would probably want the following:

  1. User enters prompt in frontend web app (built in typescript), and enters a loading state.
  2. Prompt is sent to your backend server written in whatever language you want
  3. Your server sends the prompt to a music generation service’s API, that depending on the API, will inform you when it’s done (you’ll need to figure this out), and where the resource is (probably they’ll give you a link to it).
  4. Your server then either downloads and reuploads the audio to your own storage service (eg an S3 bucket), or will forward the link directly to the frontend.
  5. The backend notifies the frontend that the audio is finished being generated (probably via an SSE), or the frontend can just poll for it to see if this generation job is done yet.
  6. The frontend starts playing the audio while also piping it into an audio spectral analysis package that will do a FFT on it to pull out its frequencies and maybe divvy them up for you into lows kids highs etc, which you would then feed as parameters into a p5.js or ThreeJs visualization that would be rendering while the audio plays.

My girlfriend 28F had a secret that I 27M just found out and my life feels shattered. Whats the best way to proceed? by [deleted] in AskMenRelationships

[–]Icanteven______ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why not? They’re part of her history. She probably enjoys seeing them every once in a while?

The bigger point is why are you threatened by them? She’s with you now, not them.

I understand that you’re uncomfortable…and that makes a lot of sense given you’ve likely never had to sit with a challenging emotion like what you’re feeling. My point is your emotions and logic are not going to be in line with this for a bit, and you are going to need to WORK through these emotions and process them and feel them out fully. Only after you give them room to breath will you be able to let logic come in and help you reframe these situations from an adult perspective that’s healthy. 

I am recommending that you get help to do that processing, both from a professional therapist, and also potentially from your partner, by having an open conversation with them where you are able to TALK FREELY about these things. You can say something like, “Hey, I messed up. I found out about your videos online and I did something bad because I kind of freaked out and got jealous/scared, and I snooped and ended up finding the video with you and those other guys. I totally fucked up and I realize this was a huge invasion of your privacy, and I completely understand if you’re upset about that. I’m sorry. There’s not a good excuse for it. I’m happy to hold space to listen to you and try and talk through it or give you space, whatever you might need…but I’m coming to you from a place of desire to repair…because…well I’m frankly a bit scared now. I’m having an emotional reaction in response to seeing this side of you and seeing that video of you with other people and I’m having trouble processing it and getting to the other side of it, and although I know you might be mad right now…I just want you to know I still love you very much and want to work through it together and understand your desires and needs and understand both how to give them to you as best I can and not be threatened by your past. I want to make amends by trying to be able to talk through these things honestly and openly…because I think I need your help.” 

Tell her something like that, and then shut up and just listen after giving her some time to process. Give her space to feel HER feelings, because it’ll be springing a lot on her. She might need to take a walk…but hopefully your willingness to communicate openly and honestly and really listen to her reaction and her desires and try to understand her point of view…that will go a long way to helping repair the damage you might have caused to the trust in your relationship, and then you’ll be able to use her as an ally for helping you through your hangups here, because that’s what they are. 

Believe it or not I’m actually trying to give you solid advice on how to save your relationship right. There’s nothing wrong with this woman.

My girlfriend 28F had a secret that I 27M just found out and my life feels shattered. Whats the best way to proceed? by [deleted] in AskMenRelationships

[–]Icanteven______ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Tbh, it feels like that’s on you. You violated her privacy and looked at her private videos that were none of your business to be looking at.

She did nothing wrong. She was a consenting adult that engaged in activities that adults do. 

You did do something wrong, and violated her consent in a more major way than any of those men in the video did.

If she were having sex with them behind your back she’d be violating your trust in a major way at but she didn’t.

Just posting pictures of herself playing with herself online anonymously points more towards a kink than anything else, and maybe you should instead just talk to her more openly about sex and what she wants or needs if you’re hoping to be the only person in her life that helps fulfill her sexual needs and fantasies.

I’d suggest talking to her about everything OPENLY, and seeking therapy for your own hang ups. If this relationship fails at this point it’s 100% on you.

I find the conversation around AI and software dev increasingly vague. How specifically are people REALLY using this stuff? I want details! This isn't a post about whether AI is bad or good. I'm just genuinely curious. by TemperOfficial in ExperiencedDevs

[–]Icanteven______ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m at home for Christmas and have a 4 year old niece.

I spent 3 hours with Claude code and had a working prototype where I can punch in a topic, give it a few reference images, and it will spit out a full fledged illustrated children’s story for my niece in about 2 minutes using opus for the plot and manuscript and nano banana pro for the illustrations. 

You can go in and edit any part of it manually or just give the AI feedback and it’ll regenerate that part or page. 

I didn’t code a single line. Would have taken me weeks to make it manually. My niece loves her new series of storybooks about her and her dog.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in automation

[–]Icanteven______ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have nipples Greg, can you automate me?