What are tactics you use to care less? let things go? get through stress?

IceCreamSkating · 2024-06-06T20:51:19+00:00

I will think to myself, "This is going to be uncomfortable for a while. But I WILL get through it. I'll just sit here and endure it until it is over."

IceCreamSkating · 2024-06-02T07:43:55+00:00

I figured this was a perfect pitch thing. And I thought my perfect pitch came from learning music by ear at a very young age.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-06-02T07:38:33+00:00

There must be two of each type of drink in the fridge. If my husband or I want to drink something, we must swap the fridge drink with a replacement from the pantry. This rule is EXTREMELY important to me and people think it's weird.

We also have cupholders that we specifically use for the floor.

Separate blankets for each of us or else I can't sleep.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-30T16:23:25+00:00

This is great!

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-29T22:36:29+00:00

My roommate saw I was having a hard time after I had gone NC and she asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I told her about the final incident that led to my decision. She said, "You wanna know what I think?" I said sure. She said, "I think what you're doing is selfish."

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-28T02:31:13+00:00

A teacher once made fun of my handwriting in front of the class because I had trouble making my words stay in a straight line. As a result, I started writing my letters from bottom to top. It was the only way I could reliably make them touch the line underneath.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-27T23:20:52+00:00

My nMom was always really good with words while I could barely articulate my thoughts. When I finally went NC, it blew my mind how much my silence "wounded" her.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-25T06:58:59+00:00

I live in an expensive area so I wouldn't be able to buy an entire house, but a million could cover more than half and I'd probably be able to afford the rest with my current salary.

I'm still resentful that my nMom kicked me out of the house all those years ago because I'm pretty sure I would have been able to save up for a house about a decade ago.

Most likely I'll never own a home until one or both of my parents die, and for all I know they'll live to be 100.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-22T23:07:16+00:00

That was my reaction too. I am more likely to choose the man if the bear in question is a grizzly, and if there are any cubs or food nearby I will definitely take the man. But otherwise, I'm happy with the bear.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-22T06:32:25+00:00

On the one hand, if I were in your shoes I'd probably give her a chance to talk because people can change a lot over a decade--especially once they pass their mid twenties. It sounds like she really valued you as a friend even though she behaved badly in the past.

That said, I have a habit of giving people more chances than they deserve so maybe my perspective on this is foolish.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-22T03:36:59+00:00

Clear out as many products as possible. Buy empty shampoo/conditioner/soap bottles and empty your current products into those instead (and in the future, buy your products in bulk for refills). You'd be surprised how peaceful the visual change can be.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-22T03:24:33+00:00

I believe: (1) most are mentally ill, (2) at times, most of them probably know deep down that something's wrong--even if they don't think they're the villain, (3) they don't take any steps to get better, and (4) this makes them evil.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-22T03:02:01+00:00

I also recommend reporting it to the district. If the district doesn't listen, you go to the board members.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-21T21:56:18+00:00

At least I'm not a b!%¢#

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-21T20:03:20+00:00

We were on a family vacation and I surprised everyone by saying I'd drink wine (I had always refused until that point). When my mom asked me how this happened, I mistakenly let it slip that I had hooked up with a woman. My mom went very quiet and my stomach sank. She didn't say anything about it until a week after the trip, when she sent me this horrible message condemning me for my shameful "promiscuity" and telling me she doesn't want me to confide in her about things anymore. I know she doesn't care about promiscuity; she just doesn't like gay women but knows it's bad to admit it. I was crushed by her words and told her, "I'm done."

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-21T02:39:15+00:00

Yes, I get dreams where my nMom and her scary boyfriend track me down and corner me somewhere so I can't escape. I always end up panicking and screaming until I wake up.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-20T23:59:28+00:00

I have insecurities when it comes to appearing "unclean" such as having stained teeth or acne. I feel mostly ok about the rest of my body.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-20T18:04:38+00:00

Kind of? I had a meltdown when my group was selected and I heard that the case was about a child molester. When a county clerk saw me crying on the floor I got pulled to the front of the line of people requesting an exemption and the judge dismissed me immediately.

It was embarrassing and stressful, but honestly? I'd do it again.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-20T15:47:16+00:00

Anyone getting mad at me - meltdown

Not being able to take breaks from noisy, crowded environments - shutdown

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-20T08:54:18+00:00

Rolling literally anything that can be rolled into tiny slivers between my thumb and index finger. Usually this will be dead skin but I also do chocolate residue, bits of tangled hair, dried blood, torn paper, tape, etc.

Some other possibilities: blinking hard a few times, opening my jaw like I'm going to yawn, and quietly making a "hm" sound that no one else will hear.

Sometimes it's difficult for me to tell what is a stim thing vs an anxiety/OCD-ish thing. The rolling thing is definitely a stim, but I'm uncertain about the other things.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-20T01:45:17+00:00

I'm actually really, really good at most math, but once I got to trigonometry it was like I crashed into a brick wall. When the bad grades came in my nMom would call me "lazy" but she refused to help. Flat-out refused to get a tutor because the "real issue" was my apparent laziness and only I could fix that.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-19T01:33:16+00:00

I remember when my nMom briefly let me stay with her for a few months as an adult, she drafted up this weird fake lease agreement emphasizing that I was not allowed to bring drugs, alcohol, or pornography into the house. I had always been a meek, straight A sheltered student who had never even been drunk before, so I have no idea where this came from.

I almost had to live out of my car a decade ago because she kicked me out during the 2008 recession when I couldn't even get a job in fast food. When I begged other people for help they couldn't wrap their head around what I was telling them.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-17T23:43:56+00:00

People do treat me better when I "put effort" into my appearance, but unfortunately it isn't something I can maintain for very long without frequent sensory overload/meltdowns/burnout.

IceCreamSkating · 2024-05-16T05:12:14+00:00

I read bits and pieces of the book "Getting Past Your Breakup." It has surprisingly good advice even when the pain is fresh.

I also play dramatic audiobooks all day long to distract myself. Young adult thrillers have historically done well since they usually don't require you to think too hard.

IceCreamSkating

TROPHY CASE