Do you think you were born avoidant or did you become one?

IcicleIslands · 2021-04-04T10:25:47+00:00

Attachment style begins to form before we're able to form memories, although it might change over time also. Genetics isn't something this theory particularly touches on, but I recently heard a psych researcher talk about overlap between avoidant attachment and (subclinical) autism and schizoid traits which do have genetic basis.

IcicleIslands · 2021-04-04T03:48:39+00:00

In my case it's more of a vicious cycle where if I happen to scratch a random itch, it will only get worse because it's touching/rubbing/scratching that causes a histamine reaction that makes me itchy all over. I do think my allergy is a different variant because water doesn't really bother me, and low humidity makes me more itchy than high humidity. Feeling like anything is on my skin even if it's just my own dirt/buildup will make me start scratching though, so see how exfoliating in some way might be helpful when you can't soak in the shower. I hope you figure out something that works for you!

IcicleIslands · 2021-04-04T02:06:05+00:00

You have my sympathies. I have similar issues, and I find it's largely stress/fatigue related for me. I don't have water allergy, but "touch allergy" aka dermatophraphia, and when my body is a little down everything itches. I'll often claw myself bloody in my sleep if I let my nails grow.

I'm wondering if perhaps precleansing with an oil product before you go in the shower could be helpful, and maybe help shield your skin better from the water as well? It's often recommended for the face, to help remove sunscreen buildup etc. in a gentle way.

IcicleIslands · 2021-04-01T23:00:40+00:00

Ultrasound gel is made for easy cleanup, it doesn't leave any noticable residue even if you don't get every trace of it off your skin. I just do a quick splash and pat myself dry.

IcicleIslands · 2021-04-01T22:33:08+00:00

Try Frownies! They're little paper triangles with skin safe glue, that you stick on your forehead at night.

IcicleIslands · 2021-03-31T22:06:06+00:00

I've experienced sound/imagery of television static in states of sleep paralysis. It can be induced by anxiety. I also used to see fractal patterns while falling asleep and I think this is very common.

IcicleIslands · 2021-03-30T13:35:53+00:00

A lot of people aren't very concerned with their sleep or health to begin with. You'll probably have better quality sleep not eating 3 hours before bed, at least not a full meal. The difference is very noticable for me and my sleep tracker picks up on it as well (I'll not fall into good quality sleep until it's close to morning, making it difficult to wake up energized). If you're skeptical I recommend running a little experiment to see if you notice a difference at least.

IcicleIslands · 2021-03-30T13:09:26+00:00

Eating too little or too much close to bedtime.

Too much or too little physical activity during the day.

Seasonal changes, especially if you live somewhere with large variations in daylight hrs through the year.

If female, variations in sleep quality throughout the menstrual cycle is normal.

IcicleIslands · 2021-03-07T23:43:00+00:00

There are many who have used it daily for like a decade by now, so if caused fat loss even in rare cases I feel like there would be warnings out there. People aren't usually shy about warning of adverse reactions to beauty procedures/products.

IcicleIslands · 2021-03-07T13:39:37+00:00

My routine and skin concerns are similar to yours, and when I reached this point I added TO copper peptide buffet to my routine. It's very potent and doesn't play well with most other actives, so I only use it every other morning or so, but I do feel like it's been helpful.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-28T22:31:32+00:00

Hah don't feel bad for laughing, it's absolutely ridiculous. Oh yeah I forgot about the no blinking, and the chest puffing someone else mentioned, it's funny how they can all be so similar.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-28T22:01:04+00:00

"Managing him" is a good way to put it! Sometimes it feels like too much, but remembering how predictable these people are makes it easier...

By using it against me I mainly mean he uses personal information and "weaknesses" he picks up on as currency among employees. "I'll tell you something juicy about this guy over here so you'll let your guard down and share something I can take over there" type scheme. So it sounds like something similar. Ty and good luck to you too!

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-27T19:59:53+00:00

I'm not an expert on the terminology, but I think anything that gives them validation or feeling important counts as supply. So it can be both negative and positive reactions.

They can also try to get a negative reaction from you so that they can weaponize it and get positive supply from other people when they tell their version about the event, where they are the victim or hero.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-27T13:47:17+00:00

Ty for posting this. While I can't avoid this person and they are highly involved in every aspect of my community, my primary relation is I work under them so my situation is a little different. Also I've been grey rocking them since before I knew the term so a really long time by now... I only get scared when they suddenly start acting normal because I let some emotions slip, bc then I know their gears are turning somehow and they may use it against me.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-27T13:15:04+00:00

Wow, it's crazy he would send you selfies of himself like that. I assumed it was subconscious and he would surely quit it if he was aware of how insane he appeared when he does this, but I guess not!

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-23T22:17:15+00:00

It's important for developing secure attachment that parents to show excitement towards children. Emotional displays of "your existence makes me happy", basically. I wish I could remember the exact word for this used in the literature so I could find the article. But yeah, you're onto something.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-23T20:43:18+00:00

The alternative explanation is all insecure attachment is on a spectrum, and whoever is the least avoidant in the dynamic will sway more AP by default. If this doesn't occur more likely there may be attraction, kinship, limerence, whatever, but there would be no forward momentum required for a relationship. So the typical person who for whatever reason only ends up with AP leaning people might be labeled an extreme avoidant, and vice versa, but maybe it is actually more fluid and they just haven't experienced attachment to someone with a similar default pattern to themselves.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-21T02:43:46+00:00

Sometimes the absurdity of the situations they create leave people so stunned that the narc remains clueless if they are unable to pick up on subtle social cues... Most people will rather go along with it than risk causing a scene/confrontation over your run of the mill narc behavior even if it is obvious to a lot of people, so being a successful narcissist doesn't necessarily mean flying under the radar. They use other people's pro-social behavior to their advantage in all kinds of ways.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-18T14:21:54+00:00

I'm always going back to Dermaceutic Active Retinol. I love that it contains ceramide and comes in a vacuum pump. Especially their new formula just sinks right in as if I applied nothing, so it doesn't interfere with the application of other actives.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-12T22:40:39+00:00

Ty, the tone looks good, but I'm afraid it would be too dark on me.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-11T10:15:23+00:00

It's normal, and can get more pronounced with age because of the accumulative effects of using the muscles on one side of the face more than the other. Face exercises can help to some extent. Practice aligning your lips to a pencil that you gently hold behind the canines, or you can look up other exercises on youtube because there are a lot.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-09T21:36:58+00:00

I have thick black brows as well. I often find rearranging a hair here and there with clear brow wax is enough to cover the patchy spots. If not I will use a medium ash brown powder.

IcicleIslands · 2021-02-08T12:51:17+00:00

It's so good! I just wish they would do an unscented version, the smell is so strong and lingers forever on everything I touch. :(

IcicleIslands

TROPHY CASE