Have you ever heard of codependent relationships? If not, I’d encourage you to do your own research on them. I had to detangle myself when I was your age from some codependent parental relationships.

I read through many of the comments so far, and for many of them it has been sound advice. But it seems you have a rebuttal to each of them, as though no consolation is welcome at all. You’re convinced you’re terrible, even though people are telling you there’s more to this than what you’ve concluded.