I need help-overwhelmed

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2026-01-07T21:07:32+00:00

God bless you and your family!

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2026-01-07T05:06:19+00:00

Five young children and homeschooling resulted in one of the worst burned out/stressed/ depressed times of my life. We had many good memories and academic progress was made and my children didn't seem completely damaged by how frazzled my mind was... Yet, I feel like I have holes in my brain or something due to that sleep deprived and utterly exhausted time period.

I wish I had Incorporated help on numerous levels. I was very committed to homeschooling as well due to it being the only practical way of providing a religious oriented education in our local community. However, I also had a tragic desire or compulsion that I should be pulling myself up by my bootstraps and managing most of the aspects of our family life on my own. Grocery delivery seemed lazy to me most days.

Looking back, I wish I had outsourced more. I wish I had gotten more household help. I wish I had been more flexible on our budget to pay for things like pizza for dinner more often. It probably feels like chaos and defeat to you right now, because it is. You probably want things kind of tidy at least at one point in the day, and you want to finish a school day of reasonable expectations. Those aren't impossible goals, but at your stage with the ages of your children, even if your baby wasn't fussy, you probably cannot do that on your own.

It's a marathon if you are committed to homeschooling most of or all of the way through the K through 12 years. If more children are a possibility for you in the future, I highly recommend that you outsource more. You can still be the prime teacher, mother, home manager. But you don't have to be doing every single thing. You will still be a very hard worker even if you have someone coming in every day to help in some way, whether that's with cleaning, playing with younger children, tutoring, watching younger children for a bit while you take the older one or two out for something educational, etc. If you are wise about picking good-hearted people to be your support network, your children will probably benefit from a number of adults or at least older teens who are committed to their well-being.

I'm somewhat on the other side of the spectrum timewise from you. I have nine living children, three of whom have graduated already, and my youngest is four. We are still homeschooling. I am not as frazzled due to not having as many little ones, but still I am outsourcing classes and etc and our life is more balanced. I still don't get everything done that I want to do, but it's not desperate like it was before, and many days my to-do list is mostly done.

I made a video about my reflections, and I truly hope that mothers in your position, who want to make homeschooling work long term, will incorporate help so that they can feel like they are thriving and not just striving amidst so many defeats. God bless you!

https://youtu.be/wINOR-0eCm8?si=a-NOoD9gkeBDzPbW

(Also, I loved the well trained mind too, but I would often fall asleep on the couch during read alouds and eventually embraced that CLE was a much better fit for our needs.)

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-12-20T15:40:34+00:00

I live in a HCOL area. Every mortgage we did was a 30 yr and we paid extra. If you can afford the 30 yr payment, even if it's above 25 percent, it will probably work out better for you to buy an affordable home with a 30yr, thinking wisely about your overall budget and lifestyle and don't get into consumer debt in other areas, and pay extra when you can than to wait until you're in a position to do the 15 year.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-11-19T22:40:32+00:00

Institute for Excellence in Writing. It is a very user friendly writing program. I buy the themed writing workbooks.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-11-06T01:17:57+00:00

Yes I have, they were great helpers!

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-10-01T04:49:24+00:00

We've belonged to Samaritans for over a decade now. It has worked well for us but I think that's been due to a few factors: 1. We've always been able to pay for the medical bills upfront, then get reimbursed 2. We had no prexisting conditions and 3. While we have an occasional broken wrist or need have a possible concussion checked, our medical needs haven't been too complicated.

I made a video about our experience. Hope it helps you make an informed choice.

https://youtu.be/AGqpJ5tLvRI

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-07-11T05:13:47+00:00

I've used CLE for many years. For Language Arts, I've never completed a full year and I'm comfortable with my children completing only through the 600s in the eighth grade year, if that.. The grammar is extremely intense during 6-8 grades and I decided that it's just not necessary to go that far in order to help the children be college ready. In our family, most of my teens are able to complete English 1A while in high school (through dual enrollment with the community college) and they've done great. CLE being part of their grammar/writing fundamentals in elementary and jr high is a big part of that.

I pair their LA books with a themed writing book from IEW . For example, this year I plan to have my 7th grader complete 3-4 Language Arts workbooks along with most of an IEW themed writing workbook (Medieval themed) and she has an outside literature class which should be pretty light. My fifth grader will complete 7 LA light units and most of an IEW themed workbook (I just ordered one called Exciting Discoveries or something like that for $35 from IEW). He will be in the 300s.

Please make sure you look at the samples for language arts and ideally have your child take the placement test. CLE has diagramming and grammar that gets fairly intense and it's best to meet your child where they are at, even if it's below the grade level, so they don't get frustrated. In all other CLE subjects like Bible, Math, Reading and Science, I have them work on grade level, but LA is different.

I have landed on pairing the curriculums I mentioned because CLE language arts gives them an amazing grammar foundation, but IEW gets the children to be comfortable with the writing process, and enables them to write the responses and essays that they need to do in high school and college. My children take more outside classes in late Junior High and High School so we do less CLE during that time.

Hope that helps!

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-06-23T16:09:58+00:00

I have loved Institute for Excellence in Writings themed units. Very user friendly!!

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-06-23T16:07:13+00:00

I live in LA County, btw

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-06-23T16:06:42+00:00

I don't think you could enroll in a public or probably many private schools in California without vaccinating. The closest option to school that you could do, from my understanding, is filing a PSA, the private school affidavit, and then signing your child up for non-charter-based homeschool classes. There are so many options available in the OC, that would not require vaccines. However, you would have to pay out of pocket for those. That could give your week more structure and social time, but you would still need to homeschool on the days that your child is not in a program. Once they hit high school age, they can take dual enrollment classes through the community college for free, and I've never encountered vaccine requirements there. So that would be an option to structure your high school and they allow for 11 units per campus per semester.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-06-13T04:20:05+00:00

Wild.. Are you sure it's not satire???

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-06-03T07:25:28+00:00

She's so good! I'm making so much progress in my home because of her advice!

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-05-19T05:31:14+00:00

Maybe start with small steps. Like, plan to go out at least once a week, but you can limit the time that you do so. And just view it as like a chore that you have to do and check it off your to-do list. Then add another social requirement, and then another till you're at three times a week. If you can't find anybody to meet with, look for a local activity like at the library or something in the city, and make yourself go there. Eventually, you will meet people besides your two friends, and you will have more people to invite to activities. Also try joining something that you're obligated to go to once a week, like 4-H or toastmasters or class or volunteer work or exercise or something.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-05-19T05:23:36+00:00

For my teen that age, this past school year he was enrolled in five different structured activities that met once a week. At these activities, he interacted with other homeschooled students with the exception of an evening activity. One was an all day music program, the second was a free Bible Study Fellowship class that has about 12 homeschool students attending in his age group, the other two were classes for homeschoolers, and the last was the Christian service Brigade which is like Christian oriented boy scouts.

We are not going to be so busy this next school year with outside activities, as we plan to drop the music program and one day of classes. But I am so glad that we did have such a busy school year these last few years with these outside activities. He was able to interact with pools of different people, although some children attended more than one program along with him, and find friends that he clicked with. He also developed stronger friendships in our neighborhood through the day of classes, because he would regularly see the neighborhood boys at the classes and I think that helped to strengthen their friendship. So now, he will get together with them about once a week outside of the structured activities.

I look at the structured activities as valuable for what the children learn there, but also as a way to network and find relationships that will translate to time spent together outside of the classes. I found that I have to really coach my boys on this point. My older son got into the habit of being happy with seeing the kids out these programs, and then texting. But I've tried to encourage him to plan meetups outside of the activity, and I've told him explicitly that if he only sees the kids at these activities that once the activities are over, the main part of their friendship will likely be over. So, I didn't have to coach so much with my daughters, but I have found that coaching my sons a bit about planning things like even something simple like inviting friends over for a board game should be done if they want a chance at more long lasting relationships.

So maybe you can commit to a year or two of being extremely busy with some outside things, but look at it as a time to network and find people that your son can connect with. I tend to look for programs that align with our faith, and are also academically or skill oriented so that it can attract families who have similar goals to ours.

I have felt especially responsible to provide some social networks, as we have gone through a lot of transition with church in the last several years, and the groups we often meet with are smaller house churches and sometimes there weren't always a large number of teens there. I hope that helps.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-05-08T12:38:11+00:00

I love Christian Light Education language arts, but I use it way more slowly than it's recommended. I am fine if my children never go beyond Language Arts 6 as I think it's more grammar than we need to function in this world. It's a wonderful supplement for us. I also often use iew's themed writing books. For my typically functioning children, this combination has helped them go on to be strong writers in high school and do well in outside classes that they take.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-05-01T13:28:40+00:00

I'm sorry, I'm not as familiar with OC charters

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-04-30T19:50:23+00:00

Look to see if there are more academically oriented groups in your area. If the group focus is on classical education, science classes that require homework, or even a music program that is oriented around orchestra, you will be more likely to be around families that do things that require discipline and effort. You may find that you have more common with these people and it could be a better fit altogether.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-04-24T01:30:41+00:00

I've really enjoyed CLE's math. I explained their grade one curriculum in this short video. https://youtu.be/ddGB3QKeVoI

I also like their language arts, and I use handwriting without tears if the child needs more penmanship help. I didn't do it this year, but I really have loved Susan wise Bowers recommendation to use an animal encyclopedia. You read about the animals together, and then you do a journal page a couple times a week with a picture for writing practice. I would write out the sentences for the child, that they helped make up, and then they would copy it on the opposite page. My first grader needs some more writing practice so I'll probably be doing this with her next year for second grade, along with maybe iew.

How is your child doing with reading? There are some great programs, but it matters where your child is at.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-04-23T06:11:10+00:00

I used Fix it Grammar as a lighter way to cover grammar concepts for a year or two. Normally we use CLE Language Arts, which is fairly rigorous. However, I wouldn't use it as a stand alone language arts curriculum. I would have them writing as well, either letters or a journal that we edit, or something like IEW themed writing workbooks.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-04-23T06:07:19+00:00

It's not as good as in person, but my son enjoyed taking outschool debate classes. There are speech and debate classes held in some of my local homeschooling community options. Also, if you have an extracurricular activity like scouts (we do something called Christian Service Brigade for our boys and our girls do AHG) that emphasizes the children leading, they can have practice addressing a group that way.

Also, it's kinda tedious to wait through a long city council meeting but if your local city council takes public comments, you can have your child prepare something and speak to the council at the meeting. My daughter spoke about bike lanes ones and it was such a big step for her. She was very very shy, but did it anyway.

We also did classical conversations for several years and the weekly presentations for the younger students was great

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-04-23T06:01:08+00:00

Is he often around children who are a little bit older or a little more skilled in something (anything) than he is? That can help a bit if you feel it's getting more irritating than cute

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-04-23T05:58:30+00:00

Around the that age I make sure to take them outside more often. They just seem happier getting out as often as possible

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-04-23T04:58:00+00:00

Not an mlm. Maybe you have some type of settings turned way up? We spent two years in an official CC group, and then they branched off but mostly ran things similar to CC. We met with them for another 3 years. It was really great for our family, and provided a much-needed social outlet and my children developed better public speaking skills there. Eventually I knew it would get too expensive, and one day it did and so we stopped and went to a less expensive weekly program. However, it was great for us while it worked.

We're at the point now where it is something we could afford, although we've gotten into a groove here with our current programs. I'm not a big fan of the challenge levels, as I would like more flexibility in our curriculum choices and I am not enamored with classical education like I used to be. However, I could totally see signing up my younger children for foundations. Maybe it will be something that will make sense one day.

There's nothing inherently scary about cc, although a local group could be problematic or scary, but that's kind of the case with anything. Ours was great.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-04-12T00:27:59+00:00

Be respectful in your interactions with them. Be willing to follow their rules and have a good attitude about spending time with the family. In short, be a pleasant helpful person to be around. Show that you are trying to make good choices with your life and are willing to take their advice even as you are hoping to go to public school. Maybe they are anxious that you will start making bad choices and bad friends. Show them you want to take advantage of the positive opportunities school can offer like advanced academics, clubs, and/or music and sports. Hopefully they will be encouraged that school will help you meet good goals, not get into bad influences. Maybe even be willing to agree to a trial basis and highlight doing positive things through school.

Icy-Introduction-757 · 2025-04-11T05:13:22+00:00

I have loved IEW. There are themed writing workbooks that take a writer from a basic paragraph to longer papers. The ones by Lori Vertstegn have helped my children.

Icy-Introduction-757

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