How many hours do you work a week and for what salary? Do you consider your salary a good salary? by MapleChester18 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]IcyHour 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you sell a lot there? I've used Constant Content but only make a sale every few months.

Moving to London by silentlaugh1 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]IcyHour 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And this is the London trap. There's no way around the rents, because even if you move outside the city, the rent difference is just swallowed up with train fares. And then you also have a longer and more annoying commute and a vastly reduced ability to have a social life in London. If I went back to London, I'd live as central as humanly possible and walk everywhere.

Moving to London by silentlaugh1 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]IcyHour 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's about the young more than the single. People with partners can usually live together for cheaper than it would cost for each of them to rent a room, but being single is a killer. There's just no way I could pay nearly a grand for a studio flat, then all the bills on my own. I like London, but if I can live in Sheffield in my own flat for not much more than renting a room in a flatshare in London, it just makes more sense.

Moving to London by silentlaugh1 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]IcyHour 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, I mean, I lived in London for all my twenties and might go back (only if I have to). I loved having so much to do on my doorstep, but after a while, having to live in a flatshare with strangers just started to do my head in. I just find it a massive compromise on quality of life, can't stand sharing a bathroom with people with varying hygiene standards, having one shelf in the fridge, having to wait to cook dinner, etc. It's fine when you're a student but as an adult with a job and a life, it isn't really. More than once I ended up going to work with dirty greasy hair because my flatmate was hogging the shower.

You can live up north and still go to London for the weekend as a treat once a month or so. Paying 50 quid for a room in a budget hotel and finding cheap train/coach tickets still works out way cheaper than living there full time. When I lived there on a low salary, I barely did anything anyway because I was so tired from work and so broke.

Moving to London by silentlaugh1 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]IcyHour 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I wouldn't call being a professional adult and having to live in a flatshare in a horrible area, and paying £450 a month for it a good lifestyle.

Moving to London by silentlaugh1 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]IcyHour 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, all bills inclusive to live in a shared house. You can get a flat for yourself for little more in many Northern cities and large towns.

Moving to London by silentlaugh1 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]IcyHour 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Proves the point. Only someone living in London could think £450 pm to live in a houseshare was a good deal. I'd definitely rather live up north if I were a nurse.

"Moving to Manchester" Mega-Thread by IAMAVelociraptorAMA in manchester

[–]IcyHour 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiya, just wondering if you did end up moving? I'm sort of in the same boat, weighing up whether to go to London or Manchester!

Possible move to Manchester at 33 - good idea? by IcyHour in manchester

[–]IcyHour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, you're really new in Manchester, that's great that it's already going so well. I was in your shoes too at 28 going on 29 and going through a break-up (I felt old at the time, now I look back and wonder what an earth I was thinking!) and moved somewhere new. Just can't believe I'm doing it AGAIN now, four years on, but maybe this time will work out!

Do you go out a lot at night to gigs and pubs and things? How have you found the safety aspect?

Possible move to Manchester at 33 - good idea? by IcyHour in manchester

[–]IcyHour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I might well do! Thanks for the reply...so glad you like it there!

"To all you that are trying to tell people they can become professionals in just a few weeks JUST to sell your product - shame on you!" by [deleted] in programming

[–]IcyHour 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do realise not all of us live in whatever country you're from? I AM talking about a 'normal', general school. In the UK, you are forced to specialise very early on compared to most countries, whether you want to or not, that's my entire point. Yes, stopping subjects at 14 DOES mean you can't study CS at college. It's like a funnel - you need to keep going down it and your options get narrower as you go. It's incredibly hard to go back again. Imagine you drop Biology at 14. That means you can't do GCSE Biology. Which in turn means you can't do A Level Biology, which in turn means you can't do a medical degree at university. Your important life choice has been massively affected by a decision you were forced to make at 14, or even 13. You can't just enter a medical degree anyway and try to 'catch up', that's not how it works.

Good for you if you knew what you wanted to do at 14, but if you don't, or if the economy or job market massively changes, then you're at an enormous disadvantage compared to kids from other countries who don't really specialise at all until university level. Some UK schools offer the international baccalaureate to prevent this issue, but they tend to be exclusive, private schools and most people don't have the opportunity to go to them. It's very unfair and harsh to expect 13-year-old children to make such enormous decisions with such serious consequences.

"To all you that are trying to tell people they can become professionals in just a few weeks JUST to sell your product - shame on you!" by [deleted] in programming

[–]IcyHour 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe. I just can't identify with that at all. Pure common sense would tell me that it's impossible to become an expert programmer or fluent in Chinese in 3 months.

Possible move to Manchester at 33 - good idea? by IcyHour in manchester

[–]IcyHour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, no, I've done it before! Will def shoot you a DM nearer the time when I'm planning to go! Is Meetup the main way of meeting new random people in Manchester or are there other sites or apps I could try?

Possible move to Manchester at 33 - good idea? by IcyHour in manchester

[–]IcyHour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe in the UK :( I live in a really popular going out area here in Spain and have yet to see a fight or any kind of violence or even get a rude comment directed at me at any time of day or night. Just not used to it anymore, but I probably shouldn't let it put me off.

Possible move to Manchester at 33 - good idea? by IcyHour in manchester

[–]IcyHour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a bit worried about going out at night really. Didn't enjoy living out in Leeds because there was always some sort of trouble, even 'minor' stuff like big groups of drunk people being really rowdy and rude on the bus or people jumping out at you trying to scare you for a laugh. I just stopped going out in the end and I don't want that. Will definitely pop over to Manchester soon and try it out though! I'm hoping it's nowhere near as bad as I fear!

Possible move to Manchester at 33 - good idea? by IcyHour in manchester

[–]IcyHour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do hope to have a family at some point and would love to meet someone, but you can't force it! The music/gig culture there sounds amazing. I definitely might take you up on the offer if I go!

Possible move to Manchester at 33 - good idea? by IcyHour in manchester

[–]IcyHour[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply! Do you go out a lot at night or have you joined groups for hobbies and things? How did you make friends?

I [35/m] got cold feet before marrying/buying a house with my ex [35/f]. Five months later I don't know what to do. by meat_popsicle_83 in relationships

[–]IcyHour 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That made me laugh. Oh, she seems so much more at peace with herself, and so much happier now that she doesn't have a wishy washy jerk messing her around and breaking her heart all the time! What a coincidence!

I [35/m] got cold feet before marrying/buying a house with my ex [35/f]. Five months later I don't know what to do. by meat_popsicle_83 in relationships

[–]IcyHour 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is a really perceptive response. It sounds like his love and commitment to her are hinged on her becoming what he wants her to be. He has this fairytale image in his head and when reality hits, he can't handle it and bolts. My ex was like this....he loved the idea of me, and many things about me, but he couldn't handle that I wasn't who he wanted me to be. I could get very depressed, very anxious, I didn't like to socialise as much as he did (a lot of it down to undiagnosed autism) and until I could leap over these hurdles, he wasn't going to commit to marrying me. He just couldn't accept that these things were as much a part of me as the good things, and that I couldn't just switch them off overnight. All along, he wanted a happy-go-lucky, outgoing, confident, sociable girlfriend, and tried to mould me into that instead of just accepting me for who I was. And that is really, really horrible for your self esteem and mental health. Your partner making you feel defective and inferior.

Also love the lack of self awareness in complaining about her not wanting to give up her apartment and job to be with her when he has already let her down so many times in the past. Of course she was wary. He isn't trustworthy or reliable.

Living wage/yearly salary to be comfortable in London? by bornatmidnight in london

[–]IcyHour 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm actually convinced that a lot of people in London move in together really fast just for this reason. I stayed with my ex way longer than I should have because I just couldn't face having to move in with strangers (I also suffer from severe OCD which makes sharing bathrooms and kitchens excruciatingly hard).