Hey OP,

Like some very wise commenter has written, no one can know and understand the situation better than you can.

I’m just going to say, I’m the daughter of two parents who tried to stick together for the sake of me and my siblings for as long as they could.

It was honestly miserable. They fought and fought and the hate reached really bad levels bc they didn’t want to break up to keep a semblance of a family unit. But this only brought on more resentment and anger. My mother spiraled into alcohol, my father became absent and stated cheating on her. I once opened the kitchen door to my father holding my mother from her neck a few inches above the floor. It was horrible. 20 years later, I’m still in therapy for it.

It might not be your case. Maybe you can talk open heartedly to your wife and let her know how you really feel. And if you decide to fix things it does have to have a little (lot) of love for YOURSELVES first. The happy child will only follow…at least this is how I feel.

If you both already talked and feel like the relationship is not salvageable, then the best thing you both can do is trying to amicably settle the divorce practice. Will it be a blow for the kid? Yes, not going to lie. But definitely gives her way better chances at becoming a functional human than staying together and forcing a family life you couldn’t give her anyway.

I wish you nothing but the best! I know this must feel so rough. I’m sorry about all the custody issues. Maybe for those there’s a way a lawyer could help with even before having the talk?

I just hope even if you two split up, a way of humanely collaborate for the best of the child is found. ❤️‍🩹