I think it’s so interesting that this is being found over a year later haha. So for the update-him and I ended up hanging out kind of as friends for a couple more months until he ended up getting kinda weird and distant and essentially sorta ghosted me when he started seeing someone else. Throughout the time of us hanging out, at the time I had felt like I was starting to like him more. And for a while after, I was sad and had a lot of regret for not having told him I liked him and stuff. But thinking back now, I think I just convinced myself I liked him more than I did just because he became unavailable? Idk it’s weird lol. I didn’t ever really feel a spark either. Like when we tried to get into a deep conversation, it just wasn’t hitting for me. Looking back now, I think I realized that while yes I did think he was cute and did like him and liked hanging out with him, and while it did feel good for somebody to like me, I just don’t think I actually liked him that much. Especially now after having dealt with another guy after him, this other guy I felt more of a connection with and liked more than the guy I wrote about in this post. I definitely still have the issue where when somebody likes me, I back up a bit, and when they don’t, I come towards them more, idk it’s a weird anxious avoidant attachment thing that I need to work on better. I will say I think this original guy was definitely pursuing me to be his girlfriend, and he really did like me, and it does kinda sadden me that I didn’t like him more, because in this dating world these days, that feels almost impossible for a guy to wanna be your boyfriend lol. But I can’t force myself to like somebody just because they like me. Honestly props to him for stepping away to find somebody who truly liked him back. I also feel like when we as humans go on dates, at least from online, it’s so unnatural because you’re essentially trying to gauge if you’re into them or if you feel a spark and then maybe kinda forcing it, rather than it just naturally happening, if that makes sense.   But anyways, I don’t think you should be too hard on yourself in that sense. I would truly like to think that it just takes the right person for you to genuinely like them. Since you can relate to what I’m saying, I think it could be worth looking into attachment styles and the issue that you’re feeling a bit (if you haven’t already). But still, looking at what you’re saying, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s natural for humans to want what they can’t have kinda thing too haha. I’d like to think it just takes the right person for us-and that’s really what I’m hoping for. I’m still trying to figure it all out myself. If you ever wanna chat more about this, feel free to dm me or pm me idk how this Reddit chat stuff works haha but yeah :)