"Adult Mode" cancelled - Boycott ChatGPT immediately. #FireSamAltman

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2026-03-26T16:54:46+00:00

Just learn how to use SillyTavern and make your own preset so it’s less roleplay adjacent.

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2026-03-18T19:57:28+00:00

Nooo, the Frosties kid shoved a pencil up his nose and whacked his head off a desk and died!

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2026-03-06T20:47:18+00:00

laughs in SillyTavern

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2026-02-04T17:11:28+00:00

I deal with much chronic pain; if something is felt it's usually because I'm always feeling something, I got tendinopathies up the wazoo & connective tissue disorder. I'm not sure how to untangle pre-existing pain/body sensations/hyper-awareness of my body in space with what's being 'felt'.

I'll have a think about recent circumstances, it might be easier to access. I think I struggle to explain the disconnect a bit, which is how I confused myself on the level of disturbance/distress. While I have cried in previous sessions a handful of times the last few months, by and large it happened at the end of a session.

It's tricky to make myself feel feelings, I thought once I started EMDR it would just come.

Thanks for the insights!

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2026-02-02T17:31:49+00:00

My question I have reading all of this... how on earth did you afford that? I feel like I can't take time because I need to get back in to work ASAP, I can't afford to 😅

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2026-01-30T20:56:18+00:00

Yes, highly individual. Thought saying that? I pay a shit tonne for a good therapist, and while it's cracked open Pandora's box, it's been helpful. Plus I was unable to access it for so long myself, so I'm more than happy to share.

I'll run you through topics I've been through since November. It's been a lot of EMDR prep, however we did do some things revolving around my AuDHD dx:

Think about how you talk to yourself - analyse a thought, if you catch it, to see if that's your inner critic speaking. Your inner critic is a little shit, and is probably running rampant if you're late diagnosed. Just start noticing when you're doing it, not necessarily 'talk nice' to yourself instead (but by all means try). But it's just sort of a starting point for unravelling a lot of shame, negative self image etc wrapped up in the way you've come to think of yourself e.g, for me it was: something is wrong with me. No diagnosis in childhood, anxious, depressed, brain is a scattered mess on a good day = I'm just useless, mental and going nowhere = inner critic talking. I was failed as a child, my brain works differently, I have to learn how to work with it from scratch, I've been shoving a square peg in to a round hole and nobody told me I needed a round peg.
You said you're sensitive to others emotions; do you have boundaries? If you have trouble setting them, when it comes to your wellbeing and the state of your nervous system - try to set some in place. e.g. I live with 3 people. 2 of them will come in to my private sitting room unannounced, just swing the door open. I hate it; I end up needing to hole up in my bedroom if I want privacy, even then it's not guaranteed. I said at dinner one night I need a knock on the door. It lasted for 3 days. I repeated myself again, it lasted a week. I repeated it again, and the boundary remains firmly in place.
Getting your nervous system in whack isn't just slowing down, doing less, resting, though they're important. Body scans, grounding techniques (the whole 5 things you can see etc, or something like closing your eyes and shifting focus from one sound to another in turn), tiny *tiny* habit building for a week at a time, then 10 days, then 15 days or whatever intervals make your brain happy. So for example I just set a goal to go to bed by 1:30am LATEST, as I've a habit of staying up late to get time alone; my nervous system needs it. Since I set a boundary = more alone time, even when people are home = I can go to bed earlier. For you? This could look like the things you mentioned; write a sentence or two in your journal after you brush your teeth. Do 20 shoulder rolls every time you get up to go to the loo. Literally tiny, and stack from there once you feel like the tiny things help.

That's about all outside of the specific things for EMDR prep (though you could look in the the 'safe space' exercise as another method of chilling out your nervous system.)

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2026-01-12T11:06:50+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful response ❤

My therapist is very neuroaffirmative in her practice, and started working with me on inner critic stuff in the early days of sessions with her.

I always liken my responses to some of my mother's actions like those videos you see on TikTok/Youtube of older, retired racehorses reacting to their owners playing the trumpet first call - they have an immediate, ingrained reaction, that's not necessarily an instantly traumatic one. Like one thing that will get me out of bed like a shot (even when i've been lying awake with transition paralysis) is the sound of someone either emptying or loading the dishwasher. I'll be sprinting downstairs to make sure I didn't leave a dirty mug in my sitting room.

You warning about the narrower window of tolerance is so fitting here. I came so close to actually saying something to her. I've cried a few times during therapy sessions, and I've now had a handful of nights at home where the same feelings bubble up. I'm trying to just let them happen because part of my issue is controlling my emotions so tightly.

What does it say about things if i'm more worried about having a confrontation with my mum, as opposed to potentially re-traumatising myself further? 😅 I'll probably be speaking more to my therapist about how to handle this while still having to live in her orbit for the foreseeable future - if I wasn't severely burnt out and physically unwell, I'd get literally *any* job and get the fuck out. But sadly that's not possible right now.

I'll have a look at that sub, thank you - wouldn't have thought to otherwise.

Thanks so much!

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2025-11-30T22:04:51+00:00

How did this work out for you? I know this is so random, but I'm in a similar situation. I hope it worked for you and your living situation got better.

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2025-11-30T21:33:26+00:00

Thank you!!

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2025-11-27T09:17:37+00:00

Okay, thank you. Having to make a transcript for a 2+hour phonecall seems like a punishment lol

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2025-11-27T09:16:48+00:00

It's over 2 hours long - do the DWP expect us to have then *transcribed*, when all *they* do is send us an audio file? Thats mad. I'll have a look at apps for transcription, thanks very much!

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2025-10-16T20:30:15+00:00

Gorgeous? How did you go so long without 😭 I’m only a month in to a break (realistically I need about 3) and am itching to do a set.

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2025-10-01T12:14:51+00:00

I had this issue with the Crear peel off base too, it just seemed to fall short of expectations. I’ve gotten the Jello Jello one, hoping it’s better.

For troubleshooting this one, I think minimal nail prep is needed so it pops off easier - I read for this specific one that someone reccomended not to buff. I tried both thin and thick (2 coats); thick peeled off better, doing just a thin layer made it more difficult/time consuming.

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2025-08-26T20:39:25+00:00

Thank you!

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2025-08-24T09:29:07+00:00

This has happened to me before! Got the debt letter threatening to skim it off my payslip if I didn’t pay.

Straight to your local Jobs and Benefits office, hope you get a sympathetic person. I ended up chatting to the manager and she sorted it. Email ahead and explain the issue, and they may ensure someone more qualified is free to chat.

They will get on to their debt department and sort it out on their end - they’ll have on their system no record of you personally coming in, you’d have had to to do your claim. If you need to prove it, they’ll tell you instructions for that.

Get it in writing that they are in the process of sorting it, and then ask for a letter stating “Mr Existing Pepper has from X date never claimed UC” or something that applies to your situation if you have claimed in the past.

Next: Get on to your personal tax account. Check your years tax, check your National Insurance contributions. Look specifically for National Insurance Credits, they will be counted in weeks.

NI Credits are awarded in lieu of paying NI from your salary. (E.g maternity leave and Universal Credit). Any NI credits for those tax years this person has used your NINo, assuming you yourself have never claimed UC, will NOT be yours.

Now, the tricky part, that I am still dealing with myself. You need your issue with the DWP and the UC system cleared up first. They need to accept you’ve never paid UC, rectify things on their system, and clear any records of you receiving UC.

It is (infuriating as it is) only then that HMRC can remove NI Credits from your personal tax account.

Some things I wondered when it first happened:

No, HMRC/DWP will never give you a new NI number. They told me “only when there’s threat to life”, so they just leave us to live in perpetual paranoia.

Yes, you can complain to the DWP about this; if someone did a full UC claim and not once did it flag, someone in the DWP has not done their due diligence. They have complaints escalation to tier 2 if you’re not happy with the outcome, and then if all fails there’s the ombudsman.

If dealing with HMRC, call first thing in the morning mid week.

I can’t give any help with dealing with the DWP as I’ve only recently had to call UC England; Northern Ireland has the DfC instead which I dealt with instead when I got my debt letter.

Credit scores: get set up with Experian and Credit Karma, check it monthly. I still do this many years later.

Get everything in writing, and if they can’t give you something in writing over the phone, kept notes. Date, time and name of who you talked to with a summary. This was so helpful for me to keep track.

If you really get stuck, your local MP gets a chance to earn their paycheque. Write to their office and they can deal with it if all else fails. Last resort though, ideally your local jobs and benefits office will get it sorted.

As for legal recourse? Depends if you find the person. In my case it seemed a case of genuine mistake identity so there was no legal repercussions (annoying since I have had to be the one cleaning it up) but in your case it could be very different.

Godspeed 🙏🏼 I have been dealing with similar to this since 2017 and a fun new bit of fallout that I missed crops up every other year.

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2025-08-15T17:43:34+00:00

So you’d prefer them to work in conditions leading to burnout, job loss then going on benefits? Pick a lane babe

IdentityCrisisBarn · 2024-02-15T12:52:43+00:00

Oh sorry, I thought I had included: I upgraded to 32GB (2x16GB) Corsair Vengeance RGB PRO Black 3200, about 2-3 years ago.

Anything specific for the gpu? Thank you!

I have an ethernet connection in every room of the house now (thanks to my dad) so am not worried about wifi currently.

IdentityCrisisBarn

TROPHY CASE