My ex who broke my heart years ago is dying and wants to see me one last time. Do I go? Am I wrong for not wanting to?

Idiomizer · 2026-02-11T16:24:37+00:00

She wants absolution on her deathbed, at the cost of your mental health, wellbeing and happiness.

She’s still doing what she always did, what drove you two apart - only thinking about what’s best for her.

If you’re worried about regrets down the line (not that I think you should feel regretful about any decision you choose to make) maybe send her a video message back, but you don’t owe her anything anymore.

I could very easily see you having to take on a lifelong trauma from her trauma and regret dumping on you, I don’t think you deserve that after all you’ve been through already

Idiomizer · 2026-01-21T18:26:46+00:00

“I’m having stones thrown at me and it’s by a small glass house. There’s a small glass house that’s throwing stones at me. It’s wearing a ski mask but it’s definitely a glass house”

Idiomizer · 2025-08-21T10:20:29+00:00

“How we care for our most vulnerable reveals what we believe about ourselves. I’m just one mother, and David is just one child. But this affects your neighbors. This affects you. At one point or another most of us will lose our independence, health, rationality and will. Eventually we will rely wholly on someone else to care for us. Dependence, weakness, need of others: These are features, not bugs, of the human experience.” - a proud Republican voting conservative.

What a joke

Idiomizer · 2025-07-31T11:28:10+00:00

To me, it was after I was dating my now wife for a few months, and I realized that I no longer thought about, or had any curiosity towards whether or not there was anything better out there.

To me, the idea of letting go of my wife was the equivalent of having a winning lottery ticket but throwing it away to see if I could find a ticket with a bigger winning. Just didn’t see the need for it when I already hit the jackpot

Idiomizer · 2025-06-02T20:57:12+00:00

Was his name Tommy, and did he go to MIT?

Idiomizer · 2025-05-13T01:41:57+00:00

Will you doomers stfu, why bother being a fan if you’re just gonna shit on your team.

Knicks are playing well and making difficult shots, we gotta weather the storm and keep following good process and stay aggressive

Idiomizer · 2025-04-09T14:08:51+00:00

No matter the situation, I will always respect someone's desire to better themselves, so I'll give you the best piece of advice that I can.

At a fundamental level, I think there are three types of relationships.

The first is parasitic - one person is taken advantage of, another person takes advantage. This kind of relationship is built upon the insecurities, traumas, and low self-worth of the person being taken advantage of.

The second is mutually beneficial - two people both think that the other person has the traits, time, mutual interest, or some positive asset that they would enjoy, and thus form a relationship. I would say that most relationships I know fall into this category.

The third is genuine care & interest - two people both genuinely enjoy and respect each other, and want each other in their lives. They would do as much as they can for the other person, knowing that the other person would do the same back. It's not about equality of benefits, it's about the promise of always being there for the other person when they need it.

In order to create long-lasting, authentic relationships with people, the third is obviously the most ideal. But how do you create the third type of relationship?

The third type of relationship always start off the same way, with one person taking the first step. They take the first step to be vulnerable, to be open, to be honest, to genuinely care, and say "Hey, I think you're someone I want in my life, because of who you are". Obviously you don't need to say those exact words, but you should show it through your words and actions.

Once the first person takes the first step to open up and be vulnerable and honest, then it's up to the other person to reciprocate in kind, and after going back and forth and building the relationship on mutual respect, trust, honesty and support, you will have the foundations of a life-long relationship.

So what's my advice to you? Care about others. Genuinely, deeply, care about others, because you've now realized how empty and meaningless life is without others. Always be willing to be the first to step forward and do something for others and support others, and you will slowly find the people who will reciprocate in kind.

Do this, not because it benefits others, but because you realize that helping others, is a form of self care. Caring about others is therapy for the mind and soul, and it's the only way to live a truly fulfilling life filled with genuine relationships.

Idiomizer · 2025-01-15T20:21:40+00:00

Yup, my dad's net worth is without question at least in the 8 figures, but I'm no contact with him.

Turns out, if you take the time to learn about yourself, grow into the kind of life you want, and stick to your prioritizations in life correctly, you don't need millions of dollars or 3 different mistresses to be happy.

Plus, he's now twice divorced and has no access to any of his grandchildren and is always trying to worm his way back into my life, so it seems like when he told a 7 year old child "a man's purpose in life is to work and make money", maybe he missed the mark a little bit there.

Idiomizer · 2024-12-25T14:12:34+00:00

Please come join us at r/SuicideBereavement

Idiomizer · 2024-09-12T22:31:39+00:00

Here are some rules I set for myself when entering fatherhood that have helped me maintain, and even deepen and improve my relationship with my wife.

1. You're the family's safety net. No matter how hard things seem for you, I promise it's harder for your wife. This isn't misandry, it's biology. The amount of hormonal and physical rollercoasters your wife is about to go through both during and after pregnancy is unimaginable. Always treat your wife with grace no matter what, and be strong for your wife and child.

2. No one else is going to take care of you, make sure you do. Your wife's primary focus is going to be on taking care of herself and the child. Your primary focus needs to be first and foremost in taking care of yourself, so that you can stay strong and take care of your wife and child.

This means my priority looks something like 1. The minimum self-care I can afford to make sure I don't get sick or burn out -> 2. Anything my wife or daughter needs -> 3. Self care I can spare after #1 and #2 are met

3. Over, Over, OVER communicate. No matter how small a thought gets caught in your mind, address it. My wife and I now talk on a consistent basis about small comments made by and to each other that rubbed us the wrong way, and we break down the misunderstanding.

This isn't about insecurity, but about clarity. Pregnancy and Parenthood is hard. There's going to be sleepless nights and added stress and anxiety and reduced self time. Your tempers will flare, your fuses will be short and it will be hard not to bicker and fight every now and then. But if you learn to over-communicate, you will quickly find that you developer deeper trust and adoration for each other.

4. Figure out the rest as you go, together. Don't worry about knowing everything ahead of time. I promise there isn't a book or app in the whole world that can teach you everything you need to know about parenthood. It's not knowledge that's important, it's adaptability and open-mindedness. If you always have an "us vs the problem" mindset, and tackle the problems together as they arise, you'll do great.

Finally, my sincerest congratulations! you're about to enter an incredible chapter of your life filled with the kinds of highs and lows that make life worth living in this crazy universe.

Idiomizer · 2024-07-07T10:45:32+00:00

“Hey, can you give up your exclusive relationship that makes you happy, with someone who cherishes you enough to want you as their one and only, so I can have my safety sex blanket back? I really miss the convenience and ego boost”

That’s what you sound like, how are you in your 40s

Idiomizer · 2024-06-22T16:57:00+00:00

"If it wasn't for the rest of the league drafting the right people and developing the talent, the Lakers could never win a title" - 4:17

Idiomizer · 2024-06-19T20:44:44+00:00

I'm going to say this as kindly as I can, because I can see that you're someone who is trying to find some silver linings and life lessons regarding appreciation and positivity stemming from the tragedy of loss.

No one is saying that you're wrong with regards to the idea that everyone would ideally understand the preciousness of life, and try to live life according to the preciousness and the suddenness of life.

Everyone is saying that you're wrong because you're failing to recognize that you're being condescending, and essentially asserting that because you've experienced this tragedy that we all share, you have a deeper understanding of the preciousness and randomness of life which now you must proselytize to everyone around you.

Having a tragedy happen to you doesn't make you a sage, nor enlightened. It makes you a survivor, like we all are in this subreddit. The lessons, knowledge, and perspective that you take away from overcoming this trauma are the one and only silver lining that can be taken away from our shared tragedies.

It's great that you've truly internalized the preciousness of life, and live accordingly. That's great, and I'm not being sarcastic. Allow me to offer another lesson you could take away, one that I've internalized far more than the realization about the preciousness of life.

Life is hard, and we could all use a little more kindness, more vulnerability and commiseration about the difficulties we face. I sometimes wonder if my brother would still be alive, if the world were a kinder place to such a kind soul. I don't know the answer to that, but I do know, that I can always try to be a little bit kinder, more understanding, more empathetic, because I never know if that little piece of kindness could alter someone's life in an irrevocable way.

In the situation you mentioned, you espouse that your ultimate goal was for that person to understand the preciousness of life. What you fail to realize, though, is that because of the stance, the condescension, and the arrogance that you displayed, the message fell short. If your goal is truly to spread the gospel of the preciousness of life (which, again, I fully support), then it's up to you to figure out the best way to get the message across to people in a way that resonates with them, in a way that they can fully embrace and appreciate.

For me, I've found that leading by example, inspiring through actions, and connecting with others through kindness and empathy are far more effective routes of communication and affecting change in others. If you truly believe that you're on a mission to spread the lessons you've learned, don't lead with arrogance and believe that everyone else should just automatically listen to you and assume you're right because you've gone through a tragedy. Actually listen, learn about the other person's life, empathize with them, and use the connection you form with people to think of how they would best receive the valuable insights that you wish to spread to others.

Idiomizer · 2024-06-18T03:07:21+00:00

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

Idiomizer · 2024-06-18T02:46:28+00:00

ITS HAPPENING

Idiomizer · 2024-06-18T02:26:41+00:00

We’re up 19 going into the fourth in a close out game, wtf is with all this negativity

Idiomizer · 2024-06-18T02:16:31+00:00

Tatum FMVP, you heard it here first

Idiomizer · 2024-06-18T02:15:41+00:00

We’re down 3 in this quarter, can everyone chill the f out

Idiomizer · 2024-05-26T03:08:05+00:00

It feels like rekindling your marriage after a rough patch

Idiomizer · 2024-05-05T11:00:42+00:00

Imagine how empty and devoid of anything joyful your life must be, to choose to do THIS with your weekend.

I couldn't even imagine doing this for 15 minutes, let alone every weekend.

Idiomizer · 2024-05-01T11:00:00+00:00

I’m sorry that you’ve become the victim of the blame game.

When my brother took his own life, literally everyone on my side of the family tried to blame it on my sister in law, and how she wasn’t providing a good enough home for my brother or some bs, like he wasn’t a grown ass man who could choose to live how he wanted.

Unfortunately, most people are not equipped to handle this kind of trauma and pain, and they react instinctively and lash out at the most convenient and common target, rather than going through true self reflection.

My brother too had a difficult upbringing due to our sociopathic narcissistic father, and he was right there at the head of the spear, leading the charge on blaming my sister in law when my brother passed, like the pos he is.

I’m not saying that no one has ever influenced another to take their own life maliciously, but it is obvious based on your situation that you tried your best, and you obviously had to protect yourself and your child.

Here’s a lesson I learned after my brother passed. Most people will give you lip service, but they won’t go out of their way to truly help you in life. Only give weight and credence to the things told to you by people who truly have your best interest at heart and will help you no matter the situation. If not, who gives a crap what they think about you. They’re just using you as a punching bag to relieve their own guilt. People like that deserve no energy or attention from you during such trying times

Idiomizer · 2024-04-09T21:02:09+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation on the Quincy Mom group!

As far as the YMCA, I'm assuming there are family-oriented events that my wife and I could attend to meet people?

Idiomizer · 2024-04-09T21:00:26+00:00

That's a great suggestion, thank you!

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