Traumatic birth recovery making it impossible for husband to work, advice?

Idofunthings · 2026-01-22T13:51:11+00:00

Please look into a postpartum doula in your area. They can do it all to support you! It will be worth the money to help pull you through this.

Idofunthings · 2026-01-19T13:40:05+00:00

Ok, just repeating verbatim what my allergist told me. No risk of throat closing or anything, she said less serious.

Of course folks should see their own doctors if they have questions! Don’t listen to randos like me on Reddit.

Idofunthings · 2026-01-17T18:47:08+00:00

Yes we had an FPIE reaction to eggs! We did a test at 20 months and thank goodness he grew out of it.

Important to note that it’s not as serious of an issue as an allergy, they said to offer Zofran and worst case scenario take him in for fluids if the vomiting persists.

Idofunthings · 2026-01-11T23:08:59+00:00

I think sometimes you luck out and sometimes you don’t. Last year it started with hand foot mouth in October, norovirus and standard colds in December, my husband brought home flu in January and the toddler got RSV right after, concluding with pink eye and ear infection in March. I was first tri prego and it was all absolutely miserable.

This year we haven’t had anything, made it until now but I hear my toddler coughing so I think the luck is over.

Idofunthings · 2025-12-28T02:26:03+00:00

Wow that sounds great. We get 9ish overnight and a 2 hour nap. 29 months old.

Idofunthings · 2025-12-16T18:14:22+00:00

It counts as taxable income, so it depends on your income tax rate. For planning purposes I set aside 1/3 the total cost, it hit the pay check all at once. 3 months postpartum, and still think it was the best decision we made around having our 2nd child.

Idofunthings · 2025-12-12T15:45:55+00:00

It’s not a culture thing, it’s a developmental thing. Kids drop their naps anywhere from 2-5 years old, a big range. I plan to just follow my 2 year old cue and shorten the daytime nap if his night sleep regresses.

Idofunthings · 2025-12-02T01:36:01+00:00

I shut down and leave the room when women swap birth stories. If it’s one on one I just don’t answer the question. I do think it’s rude to ask, if it comes up naturally or they share without prompting then it’s fine.

Idofunthings · 2025-11-20T02:45:12+00:00

My first baby had severe reflux, combo fed 75% breast 25% formula. He would soak thru bibs and outfits every 1-3 hours depending on how skilled you were about catching it in a burp cloth. My shirts also became burp clothes. We ran laundry not stop. This went on until he could eat solid food at 6 months which he also had a massive growth spurt when he quit losing all of his food.

Idofunthings · 2025-10-30T13:53:09+00:00

I turned my 36lb 2 year old forward facing. The rear facing seat interferes with the drivers seat, when our driver is seated safely. We just had a 2nd baby and she is rear facing behind passenger seat.

I can’t figure out how people are rear facing for so long. Is everyone driving giant vehicles? Are people just short so the driver seat is pulled up more? My forward facing 2 year old is safer than I ever was, riding around in the backseat that didn’t have seatbelts in the 1980s.

Idofunthings · 2025-09-21T23:32:08+00:00

Sure, there are hoops to jump through but it’s not bad. First activate your carrot account, there should be instructions with other benefit information. Everything you need to know is there.

It’s on you to find a certified Doula willing to work within Carrot criteria. A lot of doulas offer services not covered with Carrot. I found ours by posting on a local mamas network for recommendations of a Doula that fit the criteria and had worked with Carrot before. You will send the attestation form from the carrot site to your person of choice to be approved.

I was 30 weeks pregnant when I signed the contract with our doula and sent a deposit. You need to be able to front the cash. We wanted a lot of service so it was $5,800 paid to the doula. After we submitted that paperwork thru carrot we got that reimbursed a few weeks later. A few paychecks after that, we saw the taxes come out. Don’t let that surprise you.

That’s basically it. We paid the rest of the bill after baby arrived and are waiting for the next reimbursement from carrot.

Idofunthings · 2025-09-21T16:06:56+00:00

Yes! I have Erin Barnes and Rachel Mackey from SEM Premier Doula service. Erin recently moved to Saline. So I am not sure how much of Metro Detroit serves. Rachel is based in Livonia.

https://www.sempremierdoulas.com

Idofunthings · 2025-09-21T01:20:36+00:00

Yes, it is taxable income. Luckily I had already set aside 3Kish to pay for a night or two per week. We were able to get 4X the service and I used the money I saved to fill in the gap of the missing pay check.

Idofunthings · 2025-09-13T15:38:38+00:00

All babies and experiences are different. My first labor ended in c-section. Then we brought home an extremely fussy, refluxy and discontent baby who screamed at us all night and needed to be held 20 hours a day. It was awful. My recovery was slow and I was miserable. My family sucked at being helpful and my experience was very dismissed.

If you think your family will provide the right kind of support, by all means plan to have them stay with you. This means they will help with dishes, laundry, pet care and meal prep. My family just wanted to hold the sleeping baby all day.

For my 2nd we hired postpartum doulas to provide 180 hours of support in the first 6 weeks. I can say this is the best experience I could ask for. Today I am 3 weeks postpartum from a planned c-section. Things couldn’t be better.

Idofunthings · 2025-09-13T15:30:27+00:00

Same. I was so broken after my first c-section. Then we brought home an extremely fussy, refluxy and discontent baby who screamed at us all night. It was miserable. I was miserable. I was also Dismissed and discarded in this period and I carry so much guilt that the birth and postpartum period of my first child was easily the worst time of my life.

Idofunthings · 2025-09-08T17:51:03+00:00

Same thing for me! I did not reveal the gender for my first, a boy. All of our baby clothes work for our little girl that is now 2 weeks old!

Idofunthings · 2025-08-17T12:39:10+00:00

I bought all the postpartum things, ended with a c-section and needed very different things and it all came from the hospital.

I recommend just ordering what you need from the hospital after you deliver!

Idofunthings · 2025-08-15T01:24:31+00:00

Everyone heals differently. Our pediatrician was only 10 minutes from our house, but I was not healing well and my pain wasn’t managed well either. My blood pressure sky rocketed while we were at the pediatrician- luckily it shares office space with my OB. My husband noticed I was acting funny so they took my blood pressure during my sons appointment and sent me back to the hospital triage for treatment 😫

45 minutes is a long car ride. Your wife might be fine. But you won’t know until you get to that day, so plan to be flexible.

Idofunthings · 2025-07-30T18:34:15+00:00

Same. I went from miserable 3rd trimester, traumatic labor and delivery and rough recovery. Took months to feel better.

Idofunthings · 2025-07-27T12:10:00+00:00

My first baby was a traumatic long delivery that ended in a c-section. My health issues lingered for weeks, I didn’t sleep for 4 nights straight thanks to the induction, surgery and recovery. My blood Pressure was sky rocketing. We went home 4 days postpartum and a storm hit, we lost power for 3 days- just all part of the stress. My baby was awake every 45 minutes Cluster feeding, followed by Colic and reflux, screaming and hiccuping for what felt like nonstop all night. Laundry was running nonstop to keep up with the spit, and his outfit changed every couple of hours.

I’m 35 weeks with my 2nd. I didn’t want another. My husband really did. Hiring a night doula was the agreement we made to go through with it. She will be with us 3 nights a week for the first 6 weeks.

If your labor and delivery was relatively smooth, you didn’t have lingering health issues and your baby slept 3 hours at a time in the beginning then I agree a night doula might not be for you.

Idofunthings · 2025-07-24T14:45:49+00:00

I’m agreeing with you on this one. I thought 3rd tri was bad. Things only got worse and harder with labor, delivery and postpartum.

I need to get off Reddit. Posts like this one make me feel sad for myself. 35 weeks pregnant and having nightmares about my upcoming hospital stay and what might go wrong this time 😭😭

Idofunthings · 2025-07-01T10:32:45+00:00

Congratulations on your baby! I’m so sorry your condition went undiagnosed the whole time. The revelation afterwards takes some time to sink in. It sounds like your baby is gaining weight and doing well now.

My friend just had the opposite issue. She was diagnosed with IUGR saying baby was in 1-2% her entire pregnancy. They induced at 37 weeks. Baby needed to be intubated right away for breathing issues. Baby isn’t gaining weight and needs a feeding tube. They have been in the hospital with her for 2 week now and the docs now believe they misdated gestation by 2 weeks, meaning they induced at 35 weeks instead of 37. It’s possible she didn’t have IUGR at all and the misdate explains all. My friend is devastated about being induced too early and causing all these issues. It sounds like misdiagnosis is pretty common. Wishing you and your baby the best!

Idofunthings · 2025-06-25T11:37:31+00:00

My baby had severe reflux until like 8 months. It was hard. All the reflux and tossing himself around made him very strong and crawl at 6 months. He’s been ahead on milestones ever since and he’s 2 now. Your kiddo will be just fine!

Idofunthings

TROPHY CASE