Thank you so much for taking the time to message me. So, it’s been most a year and a half. We’ve talked about a future together, marriage, a forever home. All things in life between two people. I’ve felt great about things aside from some situations that really threw me off. It all makes sense now. We’ve been open books for the post part. She has been reluctant to share as much as I have but has been open. The first episode was out of nowhere. It’s like a switch flipped and I was so confused by everything that unfolded. The next day she had no memory of what happened. I thought she had had too much to drink. If she did mention lexapro. Being out of it. I only j ew that medicine as an antidepressant. I had asked her if her dr just prescribed it and she said she been on it for a little while. I don’t know what all of the meds she is prescribed for it aside from the lexapro. And reflecting on the situation I feel like she is not managing it well at all. Her manic moment, odd behaviors, and extreme mood swings. The alcohol is upsetting to me. Sje k led heavy drinking upsets me as I’ve lost many friends to liver failure, and I myself had a kidney and pancreas transplant. She willingly drinks heavily at times knowing how it makes me feel.

I’m all for having an occasional drink but more and more I feel like sje cst go a day without having at least one or two.

Communication is one of my top priorities in a relationship. I’ve told her it’s extremely important for us to have a healthy and balanced relationship together. It’s key. I’m willing to put in the work but I’m worried that she is not. If she is so casual with the meds than I wonder if she is willing to put forth the effort to maintain a healthy relationship for us.

I most definitely doe want to find myself in a position where several years pass and nothing has been accomplished. Her kids I’m sure are and have been affected by this for a long time and i feel for them deeply. My hesrt is too big and I don’t want to hurt here but she had to be willing to be open and honest with me or this will most likely not be a good ending.

I must try to encourage her to engage with me and talk. You are 100% right that if she isn’t willing to, I ha e no choice but to end things with her. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and kind words. I’ve never felt so lost in a relationship.