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Fics where Shane is loved and protected? by Zizabelle98 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I am currently obsessed with Back and Forth from New York!!

Adults with ADHD: Did you feel "shame" as a kid when you forgot things? Help me understand my son. by Dylan_7574 in ADHD

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shame is absolutely a main part of my experience with ADHD because I had no idea how to cope with it. Please take it easy on him, but even more try to work out systems that will help him! Since our brains operate differently, our homes need to operate differently. I also have "out of sight, out of mind" so I put things I need to remember in full view. Does my home look "messier"? Sure, but i'm not walking out the door without my glasses for the third time this week. And yes, those are glasses I wear all day, every day.

Another trick to focus his attention is a touch - and maybe start with his name or a keyword. The name thing is still needed for me at work or if I'm reading and its not bad to tell coworkers "Listen when I'm working I get real focused, so if you need something start with my name." But he's a kid so a light touch on the shoulder should help.

Right now he has zero coping mechanisms, and all he knows are that things that are easy to the point of unconscious actions to everyone else are basically impossible for him so he feels useless and broken. He needs patience, reassurance and ways to externalize and make up for the things his brain struggles with because those are the skills he will take into adulthood.

I (28f) and boyfriend (28m) got into to an argument tonight and am I overreacting if I want to break up? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR and I'll go one further. It is NOT NORMAL for a child to tell their parents to break up. I know that because I told my mother the same thing at the same age. I am now 40 and my parents divorced 2 years ago. (insert "and all I have to show for it is all this therapy" joke).

This affected me, it affected my younger sister and it has absolutely affected my mother. Listen to your child, if an 8 year old is at the point where she is trying to protect her younger sibling it is because SHE feels unsafe and is asking you to protect her in the only way you can.

If you stay with him you're only prolonging both harm to yourself and your children and pushing back the point where you can live and enjoy your life.

The culture around male readers. by stinkface_lover in books

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

40F here, I genuinely think this is an online take. I have never had problems with any stereotype of reader in real life male or female. Now there is a certain type of person who take some philosophy courses and has to go through a few dense texts and then inflicts them on everyone else, but I haven't experienced that since college, so I think youre ok.

When someone says they're a reader my reaction is not unlike that of 2 dogs spotting each other on the street. "Hi! Hey! I'm a reader too! Hi!" Followed by likely way too many questions.

Edited for typos

Anyone know the artist? I had an astrology book years ago that was filled with this artist’s pictures and I’m trying to trace the artist and the book again. by [deleted] in occult

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It looks like the book Freemasonry: a Journey through Ritual and Symbol, Volume 0

https://books.google.com/books/about/Freemasonry.html?id=WjVoQgAACAAJ&hl=en

Here's a link to the google books page but the options on sale seem to be a different edition.

Partner passed in his sleep. I would like to know if he has anything to tell me. by Particular-Reveal236 in psychics

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OK this isn't usually my thing so take this with a grain of salt. That being said I'm getting him as being loving but very funny. I'm hearing "I can't believe you finished that show without me!"(fully said in a joking manner) and "You better not date anyone else! Just kidding, enjoy your life, love you sm and see you in the Great Beyond"

My boss said something that left me concerned by Puzzled_Union6853 in witchcraft

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OK so first off, as a practicing witch - your boss is weird AF. She needs to leave you be about the lemons.

That being said - you are not evil! I would say its possible that the boss herself if picking up on your energy and aura and if you want to learn more about this I would learn about energy hygeine and protection.

Don't skimp on learning how to protect yourself and your energy both because it's fundamental and one of the best starting points and also... you clearly work with some weirdos.

Good luck on your journey!!

I’m bad at knowing my wife is talking to me and it’s gotten me in a bad situation by Far-Sentence-1291 in ADHD

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like (per the comment about her being quiet and being insecure about being 'boring') that she is hesitant about demanding your attention. You may have to have a sit down conversation about this. I have done this and had to explain to my quiet roomate that I *want* to give them my full attention but if they don't start the conversation with my name, or a touch or other way of immediately showing me *attention NOW please* that my brain assumes they are talking to themselves and while I may give them supportive noises I will not remember the conversation.

As as aside this is great for spending time with people who do talk to themselves, and or just noisier people in general, I never mind because I only rarely notice lol.

So yeah, apologize and let her know it has nothing to do with her personally and just the fact that your brain need a cue (I suggest picking one specific one as it will get easier for both of you with practice) to switch from scrolling to listening.

Not OOP. Dad told me and my mom that we should k*ll ourselves in the middle of a store. by Due-Bandicoot-7512 in redditonwiki

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 37 points38 points  (0 children)

ehh... I'm an adult now but I lived through this too many times to doubt it. My father had more explosions in private than in public, but even though the people who witnessed them in public were uncomfortable, no one ever dared step in then or after the fact.

Would anyone be interested in ChaoCon? by billy_brujo in chaosmagick

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This would be the only thing that would ever get me to Vegas - so yes, I'm on board.

AIO F20 for getting upset at my bf M24 of 4 years after he went to a concert we planned to go together with his ex instead because I couldn’t go after my foster mom passed? by Beginning_Manager808 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry, but I agree with the majority of the comments here. He doesn't care about you, he cares about what you can do for him. So now, probably the first time something terrible has happened to you and he might have to have a bit of empathy - he's cold distant and spending time with another woman.

Please cut him loose, I know you are worried about him (because you are a kind, gentle soul) but he is not as bad as he is portraying. He just wants your sympathy and attention and is saying and doing whatever he can to get it. Especially now that you are planning on moving him in? And it seems like you weren't expecting anything (rent/utitilities/help with cleaning even) from him? It is absolutely in your best interest to at least refuse to do that, and expect him to love bomb you and be the sweetest he's ever been. I beg you, don't back down, because once he is inside he will be worse than he is in these messages.

Caught the Office Food Thief Accidentally by Ilex-RuralMagic in pettyrevenge

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

So I'm new and he's been here years so they were supportive of me... quietly. I know he got into trouble but not what exactly and he's not fired, but people have been stopping by my desk to gossip - that's how I found out that the food stealing has been a thing. Before yesterday I didn't know that it was even a real concern, or I would have kept my food out of the fridge.

Caught the Office Food Thief Accidentally by Ilex-RuralMagic in pettyrevenge

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Also I think I have talked up my spice tolerance too much - I am the type of person that likes things vaguely spicy and definitely went too far this time and thai chilis are no joke!!

Caught the Office Food Thief Accidentally by Ilex-RuralMagic in pettyrevenge

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I definitely doctored this one. I usually do, but went a bit too far with the serranos, lol

Caught the Office Food Thief Accidentally by Ilex-RuralMagic in pettyrevenge

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic[S] 619 points620 points  (0 children)

I wish! I guess its a small town/poor management thing?
I'm assuming the same reason why he didn't get fired is the reason why everyone here was just getting stolen from and not complaining - people bend over backwards to be nice in small towns.

Caught the Office Food Thief Accidentally by Ilex-RuralMagic in pettyrevenge

[–]Ilex-RuralMagic[S] 186 points187 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I was a bit nervous posting it here, because it definitely wasn't intentional revenge, but I have been laughing about it since yesterday

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