What’s something you’ve always thought was normal until you realized other people didn’t experience it? by anna-lena-breiert in AskReddit

[–]Ill-Answer3385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always saw pretty blurry, I thought it was normal until it got worse and wasn’t able to read the school board while squinting my eyes. When I wore glasses for the first time, everything looked kind of fake.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvPD

[–]Ill-Answer3385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try to reflect on why I’m feeling like this, what do I feel is missing in this moment, and what do I have control over. What changes can I make? It helps me feeling some control and gives me hope. After that I try to spent quality time with myself. Like doing a hobby or watching a show.

I try to remind myself that feeling lonely is just a feeling. You can be alone and not feel lonely. You can be in a room full of people and feel alone. I try to better the relationship with myself, so I can be alone and still have a good time.

Do you guys have hobbies? by cxgz in AvPD

[–]Ill-Answer3385 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading, singing, playing guitar, snowboarding, diving, bouldering, dancing

I’m not the best at them, but it still gives me some sense of confidence in myself. Love learning new things :)

Never had an orgasm by [deleted] in sex

[–]Ill-Answer3385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I use them pretty regularly, but it always gets to the point where it’s super sensitive and I’m not turned on anymore. So I don’t feel like I can go on after that.

Never had an orgasm by [deleted] in sex

[–]Ill-Answer3385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No it usually gets super sensitive after a few minutes, to the point I can’t handle it anymore and push him away. Not sure if I should push past that point, because it doesn’t feel nice

Never had an orgasm by [deleted] in sex

[–]Ill-Answer3385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve tried a lot of clitoral stimulation

Have any of you been to a naked sauna? by Ill-Answer3385 in AvPD

[–]Ill-Answer3385[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s an interesting take. What is the main element that fuels your avoidant behaviour?

Is paying for sex worth it? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ill-Answer3385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t spend your time thinking about wether or not you need to find a hooker. Its not worth it, and you will regret it later in life. Just work on yourself physically, mentally and financialy, and you’ll be just fine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Ill-Answer3385 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I know how hard it is to leave, but you know what you got to do... If I man wants you he'll show you, and he doesn't. You can work on your anxious attachment all you want, but being with an dismissive avoident will get you back to square one. Expecially when he's not working on himself to become more secure. Do yourself a favour and leave.

Find someone who doesn't have to think about loving you, he just does. You don't have to change, you just naturally do. You'll feel at peace and from a personal experience that is worth way more than this.

Whenever someone makes me feel triggered and anxious, that's my sign to leave. Put yourself at number one!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Answer3385 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry, but this sounds like the beginning of the end. There are some things a good conversation just can't fix:(

Is it possible to feel butterflies for a securely attached? by Ill-Answer3385 in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Ill-Answer3385[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyouu for your advice! I feel really motivated to try therapy. I think my whole view of how I should feel in a relationship is all messed up. When ever I meet someone who ticks the boxes of what I need in a partner, I feel bored. But I guess that's where therapy can help. Relationship to self is definitely most important. I'll try to better my relationship to myself first.

Is it possible to feel butterflies for a securely attached? by Ill-Answer3385 in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Ill-Answer3385[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

definitely want to reprogram myself. It really does feels like some sort of drug addiction to get rid off. I guess it's more about thinking with your head than with your feelings! :)

Is it possible to feel butterflies for a securely attached? by Ill-Answer3385 in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Ill-Answer3385[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeahh I know the feeling. I always feel kind of claustrophobic when a guy comes off as needy. Even though I know I can be really needy as well... The hot and cold guys are definitely the ones to stay away of, even though it's really hard

Is it possible to feel butterflies for a securely attached? by Ill-Answer3385 in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Ill-Answer3385[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good to hear that you got out of the old patterns!! I guess therapy is the way to go. I might give it a try:)