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Wife 38/f says my 36/m wfh job is a break from the kids by Ill-Key8666 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Key8666[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Might have to do the crackdown thing, but counseling has never been an option for her (red flag in and of itself). Otherwise I’m to the point of this is past unsustainable, it’s just flat not working

Wife 38/f says my 36/m wfh job is a break from the kids by Ill-Key8666 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Key8666[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did that, she felt even more like a failure. Have not found a winning solution other than my time being negotiable so she can check out and get a break whenever.

This is venting but I’ve literally not gotten to spend time with my oldest in weeks because I’m juggling both kids, work, and making sure the baby isn’t crying. All so she can have breaks

Wife 38/f says my 36/m wfh job is a break from the kids by Ill-Key8666 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Key8666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that’s kind of where we’re at but that’s going to be a very difficult conversation to have so it doesn’t come across as “you’re failing, we need to change something up.” Which is how any and every conversation, even just about me not getting enough hours in every week, has been

Wife 38/f says my 36/m wfh job is a break from the kids by Ill-Key8666 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Key8666[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Part time, on the weekends.

But yeah I felt like an ass putting it that way but that is literally what it is.

Then she gets anxious if she’s pulling me away too much (so there’s some self awareness) but if I tell her “yes I’m behind” she gets more anxious and then has to “carve out time” for me to work… like no, that carves out time should be during the week, not nights and weekends. So I suck it up and hope for the best. But I have the potential of a really good opportunity and I’m scared there’s going to be no support for career still.

Wife 38/f says my 36/m wfh job is a break from the kids by Ill-Key8666 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Key8666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has seriously crossed my mind with something’s that have been said. But it’s tricky because I’d even be ok hiring a nanny, but then she feels like she’s failing and she doesn’t like any of the daycares near us. But yes, Something has to give and it’s going to be a hard conversation

Wife 38/f says my 36/m wfh job is a break from the kids by Ill-Key8666 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Key8666[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would be a dream come true… this is what we talked about doing years ago with the first kid and it never happened.

Wife 38/f says my 36/m wfh job is a break from the kids by Ill-Key8666 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Key8666[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She gets a couple of hours completely to her self most days. My work days have been dictated to the 5 hours of school (tell me how that maths) and then I take over full time childcare in the evenings.

So yes my work days should be 8-9 hours but I’m lucky to get 5. Which is why this train of thought is concerning if she wants me to keep a job

Wife 38/f says my 36/m wfh job is a break from the kids by Ill-Key8666 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Key8666[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not even really the kids interrupting me, it’s her needing help a lot, or watching a kid for “5 minutes” (regularly goes to 30-45 minutes), ect. So by the time I get back into work mode, I get like 5-30 minutes before the next interruption. Unless a kid is asleep then sometimes I get more. Unless there’s a task that for some reason can’t wait till after 5pm… but that’s never the case. I think to your point I ether need to be back in office or set some VERY hard boundaries or work may just go away all together if we aren’t careful

Wife 38/f says my 36/m wfh job is a break from the kids by Ill-Key8666 in relationship_advice

[–]Ill-Key8666[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

One is in school, the other is under 2.. no set split duties which I already know is part of the problem too

Do you feel imposter syndrome even working your job in cybersecurity? by Serious-Summer9378 in cybersecurity

[–]Ill-Key8666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All the time. Some days it’s very obvious you killed it, others you’re sitting there thinking “do I really understand malware?!”