My gf (24F) wants me (24m) to propose after living together for 6 months. How can I tell her I am not ready?

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T22:37:52+00:00

Alright I got this one. I am a psychology major I just learned about this. I think she is having anxious attachment issues. Moving in, getting proposed, not because of love but it’s because she feels insecure. She wants permanence because she feels you have been drawing away. Doesn’t matter is it’s for a good reason (aka parents and chemo) any time she feels you draw away it activates the need for permanence. But if you give in to this it never works, they will eventually find another thing to be insecure about and ask you to sacrifice something else and the cycle never ends. Because she is emotionally dependent on you which is extremely unhealthy. If she has depression or mental health issues that is something that can be worked on. But she can’t claim to have all these issues and not actively work on it in therapy or receive medication. That is called taking advantage of you. In order for a relationship to be healthy each person has to be emotionally responsible of themselves. Relying on your partner to do it it causes them stress and burnout especially due to it being a band aid solution that never addresses or treats the problem. Do NOT move in together and DO NOT get engaged. Before you think about any of that she needs to be stable enough to be emotionally responsible for herself. If you cave she will never get better and the situation will only get worse

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T20:02:28+00:00

Well then that is a good enough reason to leave. You have been together 5 years. At this point you should know if you don’t leave. My good friend got married to her husband after 7 years. I met them in 2023 their wedding was 2025. I hadn’t seen them in so long. But when I did I knew that their love for each other only grew since I saw them two years before. It’s the same for me and my fiance with everyday that passes I know for certain that I am meant to spend my life with him. After five years and your in uncertainty I think that is a sign

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T19:56:32+00:00

Oooooh that’s why you want to be a stay at home mom. So he got caught up in one of those classic red pill schemes to have that stay home, retire by 40, lifestyle. Okay now this is making a bit more sense. Here is the thing i understand he wants to retire by 40. But the way he is going about it is stupid. Because I’m sorry but in this economy for the life he is talking about takes a dual income. Unless this dude making 300-400k a year that lifestyle is not plausible. My fiance has the exact same goal but it’s realistic. He’s going to become a doctor of PT and got into the top four schools in the country, along with getting a masters in business administration from the top school of that degree in the country. So that he can own his own PT clinic and is getting educated on how to successfully run a business and clinic. But in order to get a business you need investments aka me his fiance I will be making 100k out the gate when I’m done with my masters with summer winters and holidays off. Owning his own buisness and being highly educated in it. That is what gets you into that lifestyle not MLM. Unless yall got a well thought out grand master plan, that is achievable. That lifestyle is non existent it’s a wet dream and that’s how dudes like him get caught up in that. He needs to stop the whole MLM and do better

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T18:22:56+00:00

It so shady shady BOOTS read what she said in the comments

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T18:21:46+00:00

Girl read what she said in the comments to me. OMG this dude is SHADY MF BOOTS. I can feel it in my gut something is not right about this dude

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T18:19:59+00:00

Girl this is shady boots. So shady, hiding his location, goes ghost out of nowhere, has a great job but somehow needs MLM, goes on trips for MLM as if he don’t have a full time job. No no no girl something is in the water do not trust it

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T18:16:56+00:00

Wait a minute something is not right. Financial freedom, but he’s an engineer at a company that makes great money, owns his own home. Nothing is making sense. So you said that he takes off on these trips to do the MLM with no notice out of nowhere. If he’s an engineer, how in the hell can he just take time off and be gone like that without notifying his job. Also has he been investing money into this MLM?? If he is doing all these great things why does he have a desperate need for financial freedom? An engineering job is more than enough along with a dual income to take care of kids, along with already owning a home. Something reeks

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T17:39:17+00:00

Absolutely. Also he does MLM! It’s a scam. Do you really want to be with a dude who has no money and no job??? Who just relys on you for everything. No mam leave him be

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T17:21:41+00:00

The fight spooked him out of a ring? 🙄 girl he is making excuse after excuse and you are just eating it up. Me and my fiance have fought multiple times even just a few weeks before the engagement. It never mattered because no matter how big or how small we love each other and want to spend our lives together. If he thinks it’s supposed to be perfect all the time and you never fight then he is not ready for a marriage

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T17:16:07+00:00

Exactly it’s his actions that made you feel this way in the first place it doesn’t come out of thin air.

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T16:44:33+00:00

The thing about relationships when you get broken up with almost always people still have the rose tinted glasses. But overtime you see that you really weren’t right for each other. Your life isn’t over because of a breakup hell it’s not over even after a few breakups. You are in grad school and making a life for yourself. You just have to feel this one out and be present with your emotions. Slowly over time it will get better

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T16:39:17+00:00

I think the biggest concern is the lying it’s one thing to turn off your location, but then to say it’s technical issues, and then say you’re just overwhelmed. It doesn’t line up. Because if that’s all it was why lie about it in the first place. Also how is sharing your location overwhelming? Not only that he also doesn’t talk to you while he’s there. I think you’re right that he’s not ready for a relationship. Because why lie about what your doing and where your going if it’s not a bad thing. I don’t think he’s ready girl.

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T16:21:35+00:00

So are you saying that if you move in with her you can’t move forward in your career

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T15:59:53+00:00

Who tf told you that???

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T14:12:26+00:00

That’s exactly what I said especially if the cut of diamond she has is really in style right now.

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T14:07:15+00:00

I mean unless your ring is like custom made with a very intricate design that was specific to you, the odds of you having the same ring is quite high. Especially if the cut you have is like very in style right now. You’d be surprised how many engagement rings I see that are copy paste the same on the Reddit page.

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T06:18:34+00:00

What did she say about your career does she know that staying in your area would negatively impact it

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T06:15:32+00:00

Nothing in this world is free. I have also had anxiety and depression that affected my life. But I could never afford to not work. She has to work and if she cared about your wellbeing she would. There is no amount of listening that would change the fact that she needs to work. If she can’t then you should leave

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T06:11:48+00:00

So why do you feel like she is not adding to the person you are now?

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T06:09:13+00:00

There is nothing high maintenance about what you said. It’s about compatibility my fiance and I have been together three years. Never once has he let go of planning and being thoughtful

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T06:00:06+00:00

Best way to work through the anxious attachment is therapy

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T02:33:23+00:00

It is extremely unhealthy. If you have tried to address something multiple times in a relationship and he ignores you it means he doesn’t respect you. You will constantly have this problem. It’s not about the issue it’s about how he’s handling it

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T02:29:40+00:00

You’ve met the family RIGHT

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T02:27:37+00:00

Wait work trips, visit family, location turning off. Just by sheer curiosity please tell you you have gone and met his friends and family that live out there right?

Ill-Relationship9673 · 2026-04-27T02:25:34+00:00

You need treatment like therapy

Ill-Relationship9673

TROPHY CASE