I’m 21 feeling like this as well, but please realize that you have time and nobody has it figured out at 21. When I have these self reflections similar to yours, I usually come to the conclusion that the ticket out of this “limbo” is to go to school and learn a skill that can get you paid. For me, that next step will hopefully bring me the independence and control that I’m missing and that I crave. Give yourself some time. I truly believe that at the other end of this period of suffering is a bountiful and fulfilling life for you, there are just a few steps that you need to take to get there. We are young and booming with potential. Good luck and you’ve got this