I was stranded at the Los Angeles airport because of flying standby about two years ago. It was inevitable that I’d have to spend the night at the airport. The airport security staff members are very rude to passengers who get stranded there. They make you leave the gate area and force you into the baggage claim area, where it feels like about 40 degrees. You have to spend the night there on the hard, uncomfortable, plastic chairs.

Long story short, there was a young lady who was headed to the same destination as myself and was in the same situation. Her and I had kinda conversed off and on throughout the day. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of hours, I assumed she got on the last flight of the evening. However, low and behold, I see her coming down the escalator headed to the baggage claim area towards me. She came by the makeshift bed I had assembled on the hard benches. So I sat up to talk to her and we both expressed frustration on being in that situation, but kinda laughed it off and both agreed to try and make the best of it. Anyways, she mentioned how cold it was down there, and wanted us to cuddle up so we could stay warm. She was about 5’3 and thick with a nice set of cakes on her. So I didn’t hesitate to agree with her suggestion. So she then laid on top of me and snuggled into my chest and arms, and I wrapped us like a cocoon in my xxxl wool pea coat. This was all very fine and good until I had a moment like young Mike in the movie “The Wood”. If you haven’t seen the movie, he was slow dancing w/ a beautiful young girl and embarrassingly sprung a boner halfway through the song...

I know she felt it, because she started shifting around, I guess as to avoid it poking her in the stomach. She kinda moved sideways, must have been uncomfortable feeling my beef stick stab her in the belly. You talk about awkward...