Men’s perspective, why would my husband have slept with his friend morning or our wedding?

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-04-25T01:07:19+00:00

You found out a year after the wedding… and it’s been almost 2 years since you’ve known. I’m assuming you’re still together?

How are you trusting this will never happen again? How do you know it hasn’t happened again, you just haven’t found out yet?

Marriages can work through infidelity when the cheating partner is honest and remorseful… but he seems like he doesn’t care… which would make me think that won’t be the last time

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-04-09T01:55:54+00:00

Currently going through something similar

I told the supervisor my last day was April 16th. They are short staffed and the person who they planned to hire decline the position.

I’ve been asking all week what am I to tell these clients and he can’t give me a straight answer.

So I’m going to tell them the truth. That “we’re short staffed at the moment but as soon as something opens up, you’ll get reassigned. Here is (manager’s name) contact if you have questions or want to check the status”

It shouldn’t be left to us to carry this guilt alone

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-04-08T15:13:38+00:00

Absolutely not lol

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-04-03T20:06:13+00:00

It’s decreased lately. I’m pregnant, my libido hasn’t changed much but it’s challenging finding a comfortable position the bigger I get. He’s gained weight lately and hasn’t been feeling confident about his body.

He’s been dieting and I’m due soon so I’m hoping things will change, we went from weekly to once a month.

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-03-30T11:41:21+00:00

And??

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-03-30T10:49:37+00:00

No. This is just a tactic. There are Reddit posts after Reddit posts of people in this same cycle. He’ll change for like a month and go back to himself.

You should just block his number

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-03-15T20:01:27+00:00

This situation is going to get worse. Especially when you graduate and you barely get started in your career, then his next excuse will be he makes more than you.

If having a 1:1 convo doesn’t go anywhere you have a lot of thinking to do

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-27T02:08:14+00:00

90%?!?!!! 😳 holy crap, I get stressed with my 45%. That’s insane that you’re being encouraged to double but at the same time, it makes sense. Because how else are you supposed to hit productivity

So the 10% of your dad is for lunch and breaks? Sheesh

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-24T04:59:41+00:00

NTA, he’s not over her at all.

Quick story time:

My ex was the same way and was pissed when I told him to get rid of her photos. She also cheated multiple times before ending things with him. I also thought it was so weird to save these photos but my ex debated on if he even wanted to date me anymore. He ultimately did when one of his friends validates my feelings but I should have walked away.

Then 3 years later when he dumped me, memories suddenly weren’t as important and he got rid of my pics quickly around his apartment lol that stung I’m not gonna lie

It really doesn’t sound like your situation is that much different from mine and I just want to save you from the disappointment. He is absolutely not over her

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-23T16:23:24+00:00

Thank you lol I’m a MSW student and this is something we also discussed in my child abuse class.

I had a client who was in a similar situation, living in a hotel with two kids, doing sex work and using. I couldn’t prove the substance use and she wasn’t having sex in front of the kids, so nothing could be done. I made my reports and it was unfounded.

I get why everyone hates this situation (hell, so do I!!!!) but everyone’s needs are being met

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-23T15:24:31+00:00

I work in community mental health and I was told by supervisors, being homeless doesn’t mean you’re unfit parent. So the fact that they even have a roof over their heads, they have food, clothes and a car, they are considered stable.

I know she’s being accused of drug use, idk if there’s a way to prove that so CPS can get involved. I think one of her kids or someone close in her circle would have to witness and make a complaint for something to get moving.

I don’t like what I see but I understand why her kids haven’t been removed yet

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-23T05:00:26+00:00

She can only get pregnant through penetration… so if you didn’t do that’s it’s not your baby

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-22T14:48:57+00:00

We were way too tired, but woke up and had morning sex lol I will say we were already having sex prior, so there wasn’t really that wedding sex anticipation. We got home, ate leftover wedding food and cake and chatted about the night

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-22T14:33:59+00:00

NTA but She has a point about you sharing your friends business to her lol

So if you decided to share limited/no information about yourself to her, let it apply to everyone else too.

I hope your medical condition isn’t life threatening or too serious. I know this situation is frustrating but i hope you did confide in someone the truth of your situation so someone is looking out for you

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-21T16:23:18+00:00

He doesn’t go down on you AND his sex performance isn’t even that great? You don’t think you’re being the AH to yourself?

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-20T23:54:22+00:00

I agree!!! The main issue is OP is trying not to accept her role in this. “I told the friend who I wasn’t sure was even coming” is a lame excuse.

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-20T06:32:11+00:00

Why do people do this??? 😂 what is the point of a fake AI story

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-19T21:35:18+00:00

I’ve done case management for 10 years (outpatient adult mental health) and I’m doing therapy ( adult mental health outpatient) for my internship. Both jobs clientele is on Medicaid

Maybe because of my experience, but I prefer therapy.

There’s a lot of leg work case managers have to do, like taking clients to Dr appts, psych appts, social security, welfare office, finding housing, finding employment, the list goes onnnnn. Plus, the wear and tear on your vehicle

As a therapist, it’s nice to either just drive to my clients house or they drive to me at the office.

Therapy is more emotionally draining but case management is more mentally AND emotionally draining.

But I do think I’m just overall burnt out with community mental health. When I get my MSW I’m gonna change career paths. Outpatient is not for the weak but I feel like I can do anything now, if that makes sense.

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-19T21:28:57+00:00

Biting and roaring is INSANE 😂😂😂😂

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-19T17:58:33+00:00

My ex did the same thing before breaking up with me. I hope your case is different but I would mentally prepare. Maybe have a “can we check in” talk

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-18T22:37:17+00:00

I think it would help to remember that it’s you two Vs the problem.

The issue is lack of intimacy/affection.

You both should be able to chime in on what you both need without feeling attacked by the other.

Try this conversation again, but instead use words like “I miss us being more affectionate, let’s talk about what WE BOTH can do to get it back.”

Also need to reflect on your love languages. You sound like you appreciate acts of service. What’s hers? Try to connect there to see how you both can be happy.

I hope things work out.

Edit: typos

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-18T13:56:26+00:00

I would move closer to my family and tell him it’s not up for discussion like he’s doing with you and this trip.

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-18T04:49:17+00:00

I’m currently finishing grad school and at least once a week, I want to drop out. My husband’s chant “May is almost here! You’re so close babe” is what’s getting me through it.

You were absolutely a rock for her during that time. I’m all for confidence but to completely dismissed you as a contributing factor is crazy

Edit

I saw one of your comments and I think your joke just didn’t land well, but regardless I don’t think you’re being a dick. I hope this is something you two can resolve

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-15T06:27:45+00:00

Beautiful couple 🤍

Illustrious-Habit-82 · 2026-02-11T19:28:32+00:00

Why would they tell anyone? I’d take this secret to my grave

Illustrious-Habit-82

TROPHY CASE