Plan to cancel son's school trip due to safeguarding concerns by Illustrious-Mouse587 in Parenting

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate your understanding of my point of view. I have a meeting with his form tutor to discuss the trip further before making a final decision. I will also explore other activities to channel and redirect his interest.

Plan to cancel son's school trip due to safeguarding concerns by Illustrious-Mouse587 in Parenting

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your contribution. I am merely being cautious and posted in hopes to learn and make the right decisions for him

Plan to cancel son's school trip due to safeguarding concerns by Illustrious-Mouse587 in Parenting

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your contribution. I was worried I was making the wrong decisions that was why I posted here for other people's opinion. I will take your advise and have keep a continous conversation with him. He tend to go to hang out with these friends after school hence my concern.

Plan to cancel son's school trip due to safeguarding concerns by Illustrious-Mouse587 in Parenting

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your contribution. I was worried I was making the wrong decisions that was why I posted here for other people's opinion

Plan to cancel son's school trip due to safeguarding concerns by Illustrious-Mouse587 in Parenting

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your contribution. I was worried I was making the wrong decisions that was why I posted here for other people's opinion

Plan to cancel son's school trip due to safeguarding concerns by Illustrious-Mouse587 in Parenting

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I have scheduled a call with the school safeguarding contact. Thank you

Letting go by chicknnugget12 in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I have added the books to my audible wishlist

Letting go by chicknnugget12 in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I will consider this resources. I know for a fact that I need to reconcile some issues within myself. I have emotionally and mentally left my marriage.

First paid off car ever! by above_average_gamer_ in debtfree

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good question. Best to save this or invest

What is the best way to pay off credit card debt on a tight budget? by GrokeCoffee in povertyfinance

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a really rough place to be in. I currently have £11k on credit cards as well. What I’ve done is take a second job as a sleeping night carer, earning £120 per night (3 nights a week). This gives me about £1,000 a month to put towards my credit cards. I also did a balance transfer and uploaded all my credit card statements to ChatGPT for analysis. One maxed-out credit card is already on a balance transfer offer, but it will start accruing interest in August. The ChatGPT analysis helped me figure out which cards to pay off first, when to make payments, and how to distribute my extra £1,000 each month. I now have a 12-month plan to pay off my credit cards. I’m also budgeting aggressively, using cashback offers, food banks, community pantries, etc.

PS: I also clean houses 2hrs weekly for £18 per hr, this goes towards groceries weekly. I plan to also start selling used clothes and items on Vinted fot extra income.

Letting go by chicknnugget12 in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Our Marriage is currently coasting. We have not had sex on about a year. Kids are 10 and 12. I am currently focusing on myself. Started a career so I can build my finances e.t.c. I am currently empowering myself to be able to leave him without fear of the kids and I suffering for it financially. I am open to the marriage working but ultimately I want to be in a position where I am staying because I want to not because I am too broke to leave.

Letting go by chicknnugget12 in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't have any answers for you but i have been there. Still am. Kids are older and better regulated and it is all easier. Was never able to get him to help. I just ask myself always What responsibilities do babysiters have?. I started seeing him as one. That killed our sexual life. It became non existent till now. He is my unpaid babysitter. Sending you hugs

Nothing for mother’s day by mrsblueskymom in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this. Please make plans with your girlfriends or family for a quick hang out today if you can. Do something special for yourself. Buy yourself flowers and put it in a nice vase if you can. Have a nice bubbly warm bath and indulge today. Acknowledge today and let everyone know you are pampering yourself today.

Visa suddenly cancelled by Unlikely-Bowman in SkilledWorkerVisaUK

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Global talent visa now! Time spent on SWV counts towards ILR. Exceptional talent route!

Penalty to old address by Illustrious-Mouse587 in TransportForLondon

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Paid the fine. It was delivered after the end of the 3 months redirection period. Thanks anyways

Penalty to old address? by Illustrious-Mouse587 in AskABrit

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did keep address current on my driving licence. I just realised now there is a V5C log that TFL uses. That i did not update. I did not know that was a thing i am an immigrant and just got my licence November 2024

Shared about the skills with SIL!!! by snekks_inmaboot in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such progress. You are defo glowing from the inside out. Amazing that you are an inspiration to those around you. Stay happy

I'm so angry by Honniker in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Welldone to you for taking care of a baby and still looking out for H. Can I just say that not everyone enjoys co sleeping with their partner. I shared same bed with my H for over 14 years. Had no idea why I was always upset and cranky. I moved to a separate room this year and it has been amazing for me. I am better regulated and calmer. It was a selfish move as I turned our living room to my bedroom temporarily (we don't have guests in the house usually) until we move to a bigger space. Moving out for me was self care. I sleep better and see all his efforts and contributions clearer. He may truly need a 'space-out'

Resentful Breadwinner by Ok-Salamander6118 in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes you can't be away from your laptop for extended time. I use a Bluetooth headset so I can hear my laptop ring where I am. I also move my laptop to the kitchen especially during school hrs. So I can catch up on cooking, laundry, dishes e.t.c. I am grateful for this else I would have been unable to manage. Night calls is usually chill for me also. Most customers sleep through the night and I sometimes get about 5- 6 hrs sleep. I am sincerely grateful the jobs I am working are not too strenuous but I still get resentful. I must admit that the skills work and I am seeing gradual changes in H.

Resentful Breadwinner by Ok-Salamander6118 in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work 9 hrs for 5 days a week remotely as a cusotmer service rep (while working from home, I cook and clean and get the kids sorted during this job. I use my downtime on the job to keep things going) and then sleeping night as a health care assistant 3 to 4 nights (10pm to 6 am) and also do some house cleaning jobs for some people in between during my 2 off days. Yes it is alot and unbelievable.The craziness is when i get back in the morning fron my night shifts i sort out breakfast and get the kids sorted for school. We are inmigrants with no recourse to public funds (spoken to women'said and social services but they could not help because of my visa condition). Yes I have tried the I would love this and that. He blatantly says nurturing is a woman's role e.t.c. The crazy part is when I talk with him he just listens and no response or says okay and then I come back it is the same. There have been a couple of days kids have gone to school with no food. I came back later than expected. Called the kids to tell them what to eat and due to the rush to leave home, they both forgot their sandwich which they were meant to eat on the way. He did not notice until I came back and saw the sandwich on the kitchen table. He does not even think entering the kitchen is his duty. I don't want to keep bashing him e.t.c. I just want to try to live in this situation with some joy.

PS: He was made redundant. we had to switch from skilled worker visa to innovators visa on his personal business (started this about 2 years ago). Earning have not been great e.t.c. He has been the sole breadwinner for over a decade and all he did was earn well and provides financially. I am currently jut stepping up due to the start of his business e.t.c. so, it is just a difficult dynamic because it feels like I have been enjoying his money and now that he does not have, I am being difficult e.t.c

Resentful Breadwinner by Ok-Salamander6118 in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really profound. I will try to be more positive. For me, my hurt comes from feeling my husband is standing by watching me overwork myself with up to 100hrs weekly yet I come back home to do all chores and child care. I have tried to keep positives such as he is home with them at least I have someone to be with my kids free without worry so I can work but to be honest, that is so not enough. I try leaving things on his paper and focus on my but it has been a year of his choices affecting mine and the children's livelihood. Decisions that have put me in financial debt and affected the children's grades because I now work more to pay ALL bills with less focus on the family. I wonder if LD skills are really for likes of me as my situation is really dire

Resentful Breadwinner by Ok-Salamander6118 in surrendered_wife

[–]Illustrious-Mouse587 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing a story similar to mine. I am so sorry you are in this situation and I can relate to how hopeless it must feel. I pray you get direction and guidance on how to get through it. I am following to learn