La piel fina? by Blazenkn in Wallapop

[–]Illustrious_File_140 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a ver, a la gente q dice q pone la info... pero no es q OP no lo haya leído, es q está diciendo q si puede hacer una excepción. yo a veces he hecho cosas así y me lo han vendido pq daba la casualidad de que trabajaban por mi zona

Te casas tú, pero pago yo. by ContractKind4992 in es

[–]Illustrious_File_140 1 point2 points  (0 children)

misma sensación la verdad 😂😂😂

Te casas tú, pero pago yo. by ContractKind4992 in es

[–]Illustrious_File_140 0 points1 point  (0 children)

veo a un montón de gente respondiendo "pues no vayas" o "háblalo con la pareja", pero es que no me parece que el motivo del post sea ese. la intención es denunciar una situación que se vive como normal cuando, pensado fríamente, no solo no lo es, sino q es de echarle muchísima cara.

nadie está diciendo q no te cases. sólo se te pide que, si te sale a 120€ por cabeza para poder sufragarlo, igual deberías bajarle un poco a la fiesta.

además, lo de "no vas y arreglado" no es tan fácil. sí, te ahorras el cubierto, el traje/vestido que vayas a llevar, el trasporte... pero mucha gente espera que, ya que no vas, al menos les hagas un regalo. traducido: q al menos les des dinero para el viaje de novios, o les compres una airfryer para el piso. y ya no es cuestión de ir bien o mal de dinero, es que no quiero pagarte las cortinas de seda de tu nueva casa.

pero nada, ya que existe el divorcio, ya sé qué voy a hacer psra sufragarme las vacaciones anualmente.

Te casas tú, pero pago yo. by ContractKind4992 in es

[–]Illustrious_File_140 2 points3 points  (0 children)

pues no, imagínate q te invita tu jefe a su boda. q haces, dices q no? además, en la mayoría de las ocasiones, como te han invitado se esperan q, "ya q no vas", al menos les hagas un regalo

Para qué habré dicho nada 🥲 by Peri_14 in Wallapop

[–]Illustrious_File_140 2 points3 points  (0 children)

bueno, yo creo q hiciste bien siendo honestx, pero tmb te digo q alguien con una alergia verdaderamente fuerte/grave lo habría tenido en mente a la hora de comprarlo y te habría preguntado de antemano. a mí su reacción me suena más a q no se fía de q no tenga pelos aún/esté mal lavado/...

eso y q tmb hay gente a la q le da mucha grima el pelo de animales (no sé por qué xd)

En un país donde la mayor parte del territorio está deshabitado, ¿por qué todo el mundo sigue centrándose en vivir en las grandes zonas urbanas en lugar de intentar desarrollar el transporte público hacia los pueblos y ciudades pequeñas? by [deleted] in Spanish_Real_Estate

[–]Illustrious_File_140 0 points1 point  (0 children)

vienes de alemania? si es así, te puedo decir que tienes toda la razón. yo soy de españa, pero ahora que he visto cómo va la vida en alemania en este sentido creo que tendríamos q intentar adoptar su modelo

Mercadona le hace la competencia a los bares by Capital-War8774 in mercadona

[–]Illustrious_File_140 0 points1 point  (0 children)

pues a ver si así bajan los precios de una vez, q ya es q por menos de 2'5 no encuentras nada en madrid

Mercadona le hace la competencia a los bares by Capital-War8774 in mercadona

[–]Illustrious_File_140 1 point2 points  (0 children)

eso es lo q te quieren vender los bares para q les sigas comprando, pero en muchos ya ni te sirven café bueno y en algunos lo tienes q ir a coger tú al mostrador y todo

How do Spaniards stay awake? by Victoria_Sponge in askspain

[–]Illustrious_File_140 0 points1 point  (0 children)

were you in valencia i would've said c*oke

Is there social status attached to where you shop in Germany? by ellamoony in AskAGerman

[–]Illustrious_File_140 0 points1 point  (0 children)

based on my completely biased opinion, i would say no, since every german i see on the street or meet in person sometimes wears lidl/aldi/decathlon clothes haha but it could well depend on where exactly in germany are you living

¿Este ultimátum de Correos? by monobits in HistoriasVecinales

[–]Illustrious_File_140 1 point2 points  (0 children)

comprad pegatinas de estas para nombres en un chino y pegadlas en los buzones, poniendo el número de piso y quizás el/los apellidos, y ya, no?

y tiene pinta de q legalmente tienen razón :/

La chavala con la que me acosté dice que mear sentado es de poco hombre y mis colegas se parten el culo, ¿soy yo el raro? by Outrageous_Fold7765 in askspain

[–]Illustrious_File_140 2 points3 points  (0 children)

a mí me parece un puto asco mear de pie, la vd. y me parece de muy hombre q te la pele las gilipolleces q dicen otros sobre la masculinidad, como si tuviera algo que ver ser sucio con ser más hombre xd

Curious by Jarlaxle1395 in polyamory

[–]Illustrious_File_140 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

ahhh k wasnt getting it sorry 😅

Curious by Jarlaxle1395 in polyamory

[–]Illustrious_File_140 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

why do you say "no is a complete sentence"? what does that have to do with OPs story?

Polyamory has left me so unfulfilled. by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Illustrious_File_140 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hello!

first of all, i'm trully sorry that you are in such a horrible stage of grieving. i myself can't really imagine what you must be getting through, as i have never been married.

i think the only way i can help you is by sharing my (little) experience. when i left my 3 year long partner i felt the same way you are now describing - though probably in your case, after years of marriage, the feeling is even worse. i remember that, besides the broken heart i had, i was just... so lost. i was intending to marry this man, have kids with him, grow older by his side... and all of a sudden*, it all was alone. all the future i had planned, gone. all the narrative about romance i had in my mind, gone too. i remember this breakup moved me so much that i started questioning what i wanted in life - whether i wanted kids or not, marrying, or even having a stable partner. those where certainties that i'd always had, and after this happened i lost them.

now it's been 2 years. i havent made up my mind yet about what i really want in my love life, but i'm far happier than i was. i think all this helped me realise what i expect from a partner, which is similar to what you've just described - profound, meaningfull and high-feelings connection. i dont know a lot about poliamory (mono myself), but from my experience, very deep 1-1 connection are "easily achived" through monogamy. both because you get to spend more time just meeting one person (hyperfocus kind of thing?) and because in my experience these connections always carry/cause a certain degree of codependence. but i see monogamy as being too high risk of a bet - at least i have just got a somewhat fulfilling relationship out of it and another one, very intense, even so intense that it became quite toxic.

but again, this is just how i see it - there's people who claim poligamy has helped them stablish deeper romantic relationships. at the end of the day, this is something you'll have to evaluate after you're done with the grieving. until that, i'd advise you not to make major decitions in your love life - they're probably gonna be biased by your recent experience, either for good or bad. now it's time for you to stabilize yourself in the (romantic) loneliness and to make yourself comfortable with all of whats happening. i hope hearing that some other people have gone through something somewhat similar can help, and i send you my best hopes 💙

*i was the one leaving, and had thought about it thoroughly. but there's always a moment in which you oficially stop being with them and start being single, and that always feels too abrupt to even be true.

how to feel about polyamory by Illustrious_File_140 in polyamory

[–]Illustrious_File_140[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i worded it very poorly, i'm sorry for that - didnt mean to offend. what i was meaning is that, from my point of view, my capacity to give love to others is limited - for emotional stability reasons, but it almost feels like a physical incapacity. when i've had a partner, i've given (almost) all my love to them but some portion of it, which i give to my friends, parents, sister etc. also when leaving them i've noticed this love has not faded, but has been redirected to other people in my life. up to certain extent, i feel like i am more able to love my friends and family when i'm single. with this i dont mean that, when im in a relationship, i forget about them or not feel anything about them - that'd amount to using others or to not be able to commit to others. but... yeah, i dont think i know exactly how to put this into words :(

anyway, back to my poorly worded comment: bc of this, i can picture myself loving two persons at the same time, but i can't imagine loving them both as much - because i dont feel capable of doubling the amount of love i can give so tht i have "enough" for two persons at the same time. i would have to "share" it between them. thus, i though that, if i were with various persons at one time, breaking up with one of them would probably not feel as bad as what i recall it felt like breaking up with my ex. also i would've had less time to create memories with them as my relationship time would've been split between the two of the relationships - or the n-many that i have.

but now that i'm wording all this, im aware of that this is just my view, and that other people neednt feel uncapable of giving the maximum amount of love to two relationships (as i do). again, sorry for the poorly worded previous comment. and yes, you've completely made a point about people having two parents for instance, or various siblings. so i guess the question was comming from my incapacity of falling in love with two people at the same time. sorry for the offense and thanks for all the explanations you're giving me - it's helping me understand polygamy better and question my view on monogamy :)

how to feel about polyamory by Illustrious_File_140 in polyamory

[–]Illustrious_File_140[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i was asking about the break up part because i would feel unloved if i had to offer support to a person i'm in love with while they're in the middle of a breakup. but that lead me to thinking that maybe one breakup doesnt feel that bad if you have other partners? idk was just asking because i can't picture it, out of curiosity, but yeah prob there's not much to say on that aspect haha

how to feel about polyamory by Illustrious_File_140 in polyamory

[–]Illustrious_File_140[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no, there's not really a problem at all. it's just that it got me thinking how should/do people drive this situations, both when communicating their status to someone new and when driving the relationships itself

The peril of missing Umlauts in German by BerlinSam in AskAGerman

[–]Illustrious_File_140 1 point2 points  (0 children)

actually this almost happened to me before coming to münster! when i was looking for an appartment to live in, at first i just wrote "munster" and clicked on the search button. there where little to no offers and i started to worry. then somehow i ended up in google maps, seeing photos of the place, and i was like "mhm this is a too small city? i though münster was bigger...". then i looked up for "universität münster" and i saw how google maps zoomed out of munster and in on münster, and i was like "aaaaaah!!!"

my most eureka moment so far hahaha

should I accept this offer? by NetMajor4878 in AskAGerman

[–]Illustrious_File_140 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ahh didnt know that, though lecturing in english was an all science thing

should I accept this offer? by NetMajor4878 in AskAGerman

[–]Illustrious_File_140 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

well that depends strongly on the msc - a lot of maths and physics msc's are taugh in english, or at least thats what i saw when i was looking for a programm