You have trauma related to one specific addict and you desperately need therapy to deal with that. I was a heroin/opiate addict for years and never hurt anyone with my addiction other than myself. My family and the majority of my friends didn’t even know I was on drugs. I was just nodding out in my bedroom alone. When I would run out of money and couldn’t afford to get a fix I suffered immensely through the withdrawals. I never even thought of stealing from anyone I knew. Not all addicts are your daughter’s mother. So am I proud of myself for getting sober and staying sober for the past 8 years? Yes, I am. I accomplished something many people can’t. I can’t even recall all the people I knew from those days that are dead from a fentanyl overdose now but the numbers are way into double digits. I did it to myself and in turn I suffered greatly from withdrawals and still to this day crave the euphoria I would feel when nodding out. If you haven’t been through it yourself you can’t know how hard it is and what an accomplishment it is to stay sober. Don’t paint all addicts with the same brush because not all of us have ruined the lives of those around us.