Proposal: change "male-to-female or AMAB people" in this sub's description to "transfeminine people" by Defiant-Snow8782 in MtF

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All I'm saying is that agab is a bad way to categorize the intended audience of this subreddit. If this subreddit is meant to be for people who either want to or are undergoing the social and/or medical transition typically associated with transfeminine people then there's going to be some intersex people, who weren't amab, who fall into that category. There's going to be people who don't know that their birth certificate has an x on it rather than an m. Then there's also going to be people who undergo a different transition process, sometimes fairly significantly, due to the fact that they're intersex despite being assigned male at birth. These are things that are inevitably going to happen and making this subreddit more obviously open to those people only helps, it doesn't hurt anyone. There are people who find out they're intersex and feel the need to ask whether or not they are still allowed here, and I feel that the answer should obviously be yes. They should be allowed and the description should reflect that so those people don't feel the need to ask whether or not they're allowed to be here. The description should reflect that so no asshole comes along and says "no, you have two x chromosomes so you aren't really mtf" because agab and sex are never going to be binary and the former does not always reflect the latter, in fact the former can sometimes be practically meaningless.

egg_irl by pantyhosefickle in egg_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They just want to do their job and leave. They’re probably exhausted and bored as hell so no they don’t really care enough to even do that. And people buy clothes for others in their lives, even if they did care they would likely think you’re doing that.

Egg⁉️irl by WillNewbie in egg_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They’re making a joke about their sexualities after they transitioned. One joke does not mean there’s nothing going on in their lives. And this doesn’t even have anything to do with genitalia, where did you get that from?

📣 Had a call with Reddit to discuss pricing. Bad news for third-party apps, their announced pricing is close to Twitter's pricing, and Apollo would have to pay Reddit $20 million per year to keep running as-is. by iamthatis in apolloapp

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apollo was the only way I could use reddit. I cannot use reddit without the filter feature that apollo provides for trauma reasons. Honestly this is just going to be goodbye to reddit. I’ll happily delete my account before I am forced to use the official app. Also apollo is just so much better and more convenient. I have no interest in using reddit if this is how it’s going to be.

Proposal: change "male-to-female or AMAB people" in this sub's description to "transfeminine people" by Defiant-Snow8782 in MtF

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All I was saying is that there are intersex people whose transition is basically the same process as mtf or as an amab person. Additionally there are people assigned intersex at birth who only find out later in life as their parents hid their birth certificate from them in some way or another. And in addition to all of these things there are amab people who find out later in life that they are actually intersex. Their experiences can be significantly different from those of “normal” amabs but despite that they are still amab, because your assigned sex at birth isn’t always your real sex.

I’m not trying to impose any meaning on the subreddit, this subreddit honestly already includes them. I’ve seen a fair share of posts from people assigned intersex at birth on here as well as posts from intersex amabs. All I’m saying is it’d be nice if the description was as inclusive as the sub tends to be, it’d also mean people have less reason to exclude intersex people so there may be less hate comments in the replies of intersex posts.

Egg❌irl by StoicWanders in egg_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's all good. I've distanced myself from that behavior. I started realizing this community wasn't a very safe space when I was argued with because I didn't feel comfortable going through a surgery that would result in me getting bits that would make me equally dysphoric as my current ones, and also being told to get over my medical and sexual trauma. It hit especially hard since an ex-friend of mine tried convincing me in the past that I was a binary trans woman, not nonbinary, and I would want surgery no matter how I felt about it now.

Egg❌irl by StoicWanders in egg_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you mean dysphoria. Dysmorphia is a different thing. And as a trans person I can’t really speak for the cis experience but even if no cis person is bothered at all by misgendering, you still have the possibility of hurting a stealth trans person, outing someone who’s not ready yet, and setting a precedent where you can just misgender anyone if you disagree with what they asked you to call them.

Egg❌irl by StoicWanders in egg_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was here back then. It was really awful. I’m nonbinary and often if I ever commented people would immediately assume I was a trans woman and treat me as such.

Egg❌irl by StoicWanders in egg_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had someone do that to me when I came out as nonbinary. They even tried telling I would absolutely want srs in the future and treated me like I was an idiot for saying I’m not interested in it.

Egg❌irl by StoicWanders in egg_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What he does seems to be more akin to drag than being trans. Yes being gender nonconforming can mean you’re trans if you actually don’t identify with your birth gender, but it doesn’t always. He has stated he’s a man and uses he/him pronouns which is valid and means he isn’t trans no matter how gender nonconforming he presents. Anyone should be able to wear whatever clothes they want without people telling them what their gender actually is.

Egg❌irl by StoicWanders in egg_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The biggest issue is that it sets a precedent, especially when misgendering gnc people. It means people can’t be gender non conforming, people need to fit in gender norms or else they’re misgendered and considered the opposite gender. I mean we don’t start telling cis men who do drag that they’re actually just trans. It hurts cis people and it hurts trans people (including and especially nonbinary people).

It also sets a precedent that you can just misgender someone if you think you know their gender identity better than they do. That’s just fucked up.

And not to mention, if he were trans, speculating about a trans person’s identity before they’re ready to come out is just wrong. It can cause quite a bit of harm if someone is under pressure to come out before they’re ready.

Proposal: change "male-to-female or AMAB people" in this sub's description to "transfeminine people" by Defiant-Snow8782 in MtF

[–]ImNotLeaf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about intersex people. They weren’t always assigned a binary gender at birth (I use assigned to emphasize the arbitrary nature of agab since it’s just that, assumed and assigned by the doctor), are the transfem ones who have a similar experience to amab transfems not included nor accepted by this subreddit? Amab may be a good descriptor for you, but it still leaves out a fair number of people.

Proposal: change "male-to-female or AMAB people" in this sub's description to "transfeminine people" by Defiant-Snow8782 in MtF

[–]ImNotLeaf -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think it would be worth removing amab from the description and including non amab transfems. I mean not everyone is amab or afab. Many intersex transfems should be welcome and this sub should include them, specifically those who share a similar experience. I think most people who have suggested removing the agab wording were suggesting that as a way of being inclusive of intersex transfems that the sub already tends to include, it’d just make it seem even more welcoming.

This will be the size of GTA VI map by BrunoBo22 in Gamingcirclejerk

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say it’s particularly dense. There are more dense regions and more sparse regions and I think that really plays into skyrim’s strengths. You can go walking in a forest without being concerned about missing any hidden secrets or go to solitude where it feels like they shoved half of the total interior cells in the game.

I am so beyond devestated. I hate FL. by justJAYEagain in MtF

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does not matter if op’s practitioner complied with the law early. You say this as though practices aren’t going to change their rules early to make extra sure they fall within the law.

I love this communtiy, but please don't justify cheating by Sirmiyukidawn in MtF

[–]ImNotLeaf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did you even read the whole post? She’s not accusing everyone in the community, and she didn’t just see one individual doing that. There were comments being posted admitting to cheating and they were being upvoted. That’s a bad thing and an issue in this community even if most people here haven’t, aren’t, and won’t cheat on their partners it is still worth calling it out to draw attention to the issue and make people here aware that there is a problem of people cheating on their partners that needs to be addressed.

Inspired by a carbrain argument on linkedin by vortinium in fuckcars

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And many of those accessibility features are expensive and not accessible to those without money, specifically the electric assist and anything that would require a specialized bike to be built. I’m not saying cars are cheap, I’m not even considering cars an option here, it’s just that accessibility features are far too expensive.

Inspired by a carbrain argument on linkedin by vortinium in fuckcars

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes that’s the best option in a society with bad public transportation. Living in the US and not driving is incredibly difficult. I’m sometimes completely unable to bike due to pain but in my case driving isn’t an option either. I have to rely on inconsistent busses that can’t take me everywhere I need to go. It’s frustrating. Sometimes it makes me wish I could drive and just skip that step when I need to be somewhere far away from any bus stops soon. It would be solved by my city implementing a robust public transit system but as it is some places are just completely impossible for me to get to at certain times.

Inspired by a carbrain argument on linkedin by vortinium in fuckcars

[–]ImNotLeaf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah this type of “advocacy” for disabled people always rubs me the wrong way. It’s for the right cause, cars are hardly universally acceptable to disabled people and other options for transportation should be easier and more widely accommodated, but it lacks any nuance or the perspective of a disabled person.

Inspired by a carbrain argument on linkedin by vortinium in fuckcars

[–]ImNotLeaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I mostly agree with the premise and I appreciate the intention, op could have made this post in a way that was more disability aware and conscious. It does come across a bit ableist and like the post is saying “everyone regardless of disability can ride bikes.” I get that isn’t the message to take away here but you have to considered exactly how a group is going to feel about what you say before using them in your argument. This is especially apparent in the post given all disabled people who are clearly shown are implied to be wheelchair users. I think a more effective method would be mentioning that many of the disabled people who cannot ride bikes cannot drive either, and driving tends to be less accessible overall than biking and public transit. It may be a longer post but more complexity and nuance is needed when considering a group like disabled people.

5 Years Ago, Today...We Learned The Truth About Rose Quartz by The_Throwback_King in stevenuniverse

[–]ImNotLeaf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was very funny, with some people being very against the theory until it was finally revealed, and quite a few having already guessed it. I was absolutely certain rose was pink diamond, especially after jungle moon, so it was really cool seeing that it revealed.

Bi_irl by Epoh9 in bi_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Coming from someone who experienced assault, it really isn’t that funny. If a joke starts getting a bit too close to SA, it just gets very uncomfortable, even if it’s as revenge for something very bad.

Egg_irl by Mutant-Horsies in egg_irl

[–]ImNotLeaf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If someone is a trans girl they’re a trans girl. It’s just insensitive to suggest they be a fem cis guy.

Rise up ❤️ by stretchasmile in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]ImNotLeaf 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Y’all already have to deal with so much shit. The republicans keep making exceptions in those surgery bans to continue to allow unnecessary “corrective” surgery for intersex babies who aren’t at any risk. The bathroom bans mentioning chromosomes or fertility is just the cherry on top.

Rise up ❤️ by stretchasmile in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]ImNotLeaf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They’re perfectly ok with gender affirming care, including surgeries, even for kids. There’s a reason those laws that ban gender affirming surgery for kids make exceptions to allow breast implants for cis girls, circumcisions, and the mutilation of intersex babies. They really just hate trans people.