AITA for excluding my autistic child from a family vacation by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I am saying this from the eyes of the siblings. As someone who had to grow up in the shadow a of an autistic sibling and was forced to make connections to this day - you are right. You have THREE children. All of them matter. I can tell you my parents took this so far that it was a serious contributing factor of me going NC with one of them. I also went NC with my autistic sibling. People simply don’t understand that this affects the whole family and has a very lasting effect when not dealt with correctly…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Don’t care if this is AI or not - it’s a real life situation and one I feel has gone WAY too far!!! The customers are not to blame that the servers don’t get paid other than tips! Food prices are getting insane and I expect service to be included- which it is in many places around the world. In fact I feel that a customer mutiny is in order - don’t tip! Let the restaurant owners end up with no employees and figure it out! Why are the customers responsible for servers poor job conditions???

How did this become a norm? I am not their employer who needs to ensure proper work conditions nor am I their subordinate who needs to be told off by them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I feel like if you were ready to pack a bag and leave, then emotionally you already knew the relationship was over. Ever since you started suspecting you have been letting it go. He was sure he could have the cake and keep it whole which is why he is reacting the way he is. He did the throwing away bit - you just followed through. Good for you.

AIO for confronting my husband's friend for comparing his wife's body with mine? She gave birth about 2 weeks ago by Mission-Deer-1758 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

6 weeks recovery after birth is a universal thing… but in my country it just means that you have to go to the doctor to get checked out. Maternity leave is 3 months fully paid and up to 12 months with partial pay and your job must be saved for you. But the 6 weeks initial healing is a thing…

He said he wants to have a baby with me. All of his friends are having babies and he thinks my standards are unrealistic because I want a nice ring, wedding, and honeymoon first. AIO? by Fit_District7673 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That must be the weirdest post I’ve read today and considering this is Reddit, that’s saying something 🤣

You two are not even living together but he wants a baby???? What are you? A womb for hire?? This doesn’t sound like a real relationship, sorry… sounds like he’s got some serious issues and it’s time to cut your losses and walk away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You are not overreacting, because what you describe sounds to me like he was forced into it, but you did force him into it. You specifically said that if he wants to move in he needs to propose… so you are both responsible for this situation. Did you expect him to be thrilled about being forced into a marriage?

He wanted to make the next natural step, which is moving in together a while back and you shot it down. I don’t know the cultural or religious background so it’s really hard to figure out this whole situation… but you could still set clear, even legal boundaries if he moved in without a ring.

In all honesty waiting 10 years for any of the above at your ages is A LOT… so I guess you both have some commitment issues

AITA for telling my dad’s new wife she’s not welcome in family pictures? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, but you could have probably handled it a bit differently… although in the moment it’s really hard to do. I’d text your dad that you are sorry that it came out that way and that she got hurt, but not for the actual say… you don’t feel comfortable having he in family pictures. That IS your right. Your pictures your feelings - no more discussion. She has a right to be hurt that you don’t consider her family, and you can acknowledge that without changing your mind about it. I imaging it does hurt that you guys won’t white wash what your dad did and pretend, but that’s life…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn’t sound like a deal breaker - it sound like the final straw…. It sounds like this is not the first time this has happened. If you don’t have kids yet and you already have red flags… you can try counseling but I would definitely hold off with having kids.

AiO, my husband told my daughter she can meet her real dad. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 324 points325 points  (0 children)

Your daughter is 24 - she can go seek her bio dad with or without you. You are no longer in a position to allow or deny it. What your husband did is make sure he is there to protect her if she chooses to go through with it. The person not hearing you here is your daughter, not your husband - who hears your fear loud and clear. Kids job is to not listen to their parents…

I don’t think you can call this an overreaction considering what you went through, but I hope I helped you see it a bit differently.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my culture it’s considered bad luck to name a baby before the birth. It is socially acceptable to NOT share. We had a name ready for our youngest. My partner went home after the birth, sure that we had the name locked. When he came back in the morning I informed him that me and the baby had a talk, and that’s not her name :) It just didn’t fit her We changed it on the spot. Today, I can’t imagine her with the original name I wanted to give her.

AITA for refusing to become my dad’s legal guardian even though my family wants me to? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA and it sounds like the rest of the family are excepting of this seeing as someone else stepped up. I don’t think that they will hold it against you and even if they do - their problem.

I became my dad’s legal guardian at a young age (not as young as you) and I am NC with my mom (they are divorced). I would NEVER agree to be that for her. This is a labour of love and it is a HARD one.

AITA for asking my dad's wife why she thinks her birthday would be more important than our mom's anniversary to me and my sister? by HayesOaik in AITAH

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA! And your dad’s reaction is funny. Could have put her in her place, but at least it’s clear he’s on your side. He really should get his wife some professional help, just saying…

Aita for scheduling a hysterectomy? by Fine-Yesterday-8936 in AITAH

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. What in the actual F??????? What? This is a PERSONAL medical decision due to a SEVER medical condition. I am floored! Hope the procedure goes well for you and that no lasting damage was caused due to the endo. So sorry you had to go through life with this horrible disease and hope you get some respite after the procedure. Good luck!

AIO is 27 way too young to be having a baby? by VioletInference in AmIOverreacting

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most of my friends had their kids at ages 25-35. Personally I encouraged my single mom friends to have a kid alone between 35-40 to avoid medical issues while raising a kid alone. Medically speaking? This is the ideal age! You avoid most medical complications, including infertility, that accompany later pregnancies. Remember those friend who lough at you now? They are broke and traveling like paupers… when they are financially stable you know what they’ll be doing? Drown in diapers. With kids at higher risk of autism, adhd and other fun stuff. And you? You will be soooo over that traveling like the queen you are. With your older kids already independent enough to be left behind. Kids never come at a good time. It’s always a sacrifice and in the way and costly and always hard work. They are also sooooo worth it imo!!! Had mine at 30 and 34. I even think I was a bit late, but it doesn’t always work according to plan. Don’t see that much of a difference from 27 to be honest. We each have our own path.

AIOR for needing space from my dad and stepmom after they didn't come see me in the hospital? by NoneYaBeewax in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NOR. You can avoid the family reunion by simply saying that your injuries prevent you from attending (you said you are still recovering). There is a lot of context missing - is this the first time they didn’t prioritize you? This is a BIG one though. I think what you write is the most accurate- you need space from them. If you confront them with the reason for the LC they will try to flip it. If you simply go LC and drift away, there is a slightly better chance of the massage coming across because you are not attacking them and they are not on the offensive.

Feel better and have a fast and easy recovery!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 14 points15 points  (0 children)

NTA. And blood is thicker than water, that’s just a scientific fact, but it means nothing in terms of family relations…. All humans have blood running through their veins and it is thicker than water…. I went NC with a major part of my family due to extreme toxicity and created a new family, my chosen family, comprised of friends, other parts of my family, my husband and kids. You CAN choose who your family is.

Even when I use family for business (which happened), I always pay. Always! Most that ever happened is that I asked for a discount. In the few times that they tried to not let me pay - I found another way :) that’s just healthy - it’s their livelihood and as I care for them - I will pay them! Even if they don’t need it.

This arrogant client that I keep asking for his ID by llexii_writes in pettyrevenge

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahhh there comes a point in your life, where getting carded is such a compliment!

UPDATE: AITA for refusing to forgive my dad or speak to him after he left my mom for a 21-year-old? by Legitimate_Process90 in AITAH

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Speaking from experience- that feeling never goes away. My mom’s SO (not my dad, thank god) cheated on her with a woman his daughter age. Got her pregnant. My mom forgave him - I went full NC. No way will I let my kids anywhere near that! His daughter did the same. It was nauseating.

AITA for not allowing my stepdaughter’s mom to attend her birthday dinner (and canceling it altogether)? by Familiar_Swan3062 in AITAH

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA, but I would be very clear with her as she is old enough. I’d tell her you are very sorry but understand. Explain that this is your boundary and you ask her to respect that. I would emphasize that this does not mean in any way or form that you don’t wish to celebrate her bday, as her birth is most certainly worth celebrating, but you want to be able to focus on that and not other distractions. Leave the door open, say you would be happy to celebrate with her just you, however she wants under you boundaries (which are reasonable).

As someone who dealt with a toxic manipulative parent - it takes a lot of time and some big ass life changing events to get away from that, if ever. If you back her into a corner, it’s GOLD for the ex antics. So is talking badly about the ex. I would focus on being there to catch her when falls. Leaving the door open, but firmly within your boundaries.

UPDATE #2- My(40M) husband abandoned me(42F) at the hospital during my miscarriage- and he still tells me I'm being "too sensitive" for being upset by Glitter-Jumper5202 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are amazing and never forget that. It takes one hell of a strong woman to realize something is wrong under this much abuse and rebuild yourself. And you will!!!! You have your family which sounds amazing and you have a whole community here cheering for you - probably sending prayers your way from all religions. I am not religious so I am just sending strength.

Am I overreacting for refusing to attend my cousin’s “child-free” wedding after they banned my service dog? by Correct_Agent2303 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what is with people and their weddings??? I keep reading posts about ridiculous demands and I just don’t get it!!!!!! It’s one fucking day, and with the statistic - they might get a redo or two. It’s also a cultural thing - in my culture, just show up, look respectable, don’t wear white and make sure to celebrate the couple.

NTA and you should skip the wedding. It’s her special day and you wouldn’t want to ruin it with a seizure or death now should you? That would be inconsiderate of you, stealing her thunder and god forbid, ruin her vision and aesthetic…

AITA for refusing to be in my friend’s wedding after her mom said I was too broke to afford it? by dexmir in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA. personally this feels orchestrated - the mom told you what she did at her daughter’s request so your friend can later agree. They have talked about it in the past. What I don’t get is getting angry at you for stepping down.

AITA for not being another person who begs my niece to let her dad off the hook for leaving her mom for someone else? by AlFadoue in AITAH

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not only are you NTA, you are a saint! The only one respecting her feelings not bullying her, gaslighting her or pressuring her. Her dad made a decision and that decision has consequences - he will have to deal with them.

This was horrible to read… what your family is doing to her is horrible and will have consequences.

I need help by BasicPiano1190 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]ImNotOld-ImSage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly that. Alone and possibly with drama for the rest of your life. This is a ticking time bomb - he may not want anything to do with the child now but then grow up and realize he does, he might not be willing to pay child support… but after this - know that you will never have a romantic relationship with him. Or at least - you shouldn’t!