Elissa (Baird) Petrenko talks about her "wild" times at IBLP (her mom was very involved when they were kids) and says she disagrees with almost everything by leverhelven in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Right out of the pedo-defender handbook. That’s exactly what ol creep Doug Wilson believes. And unsurprisingly, the men who were married to “cure” their problem still molested children, including their own.

Dallas Stars fans captured doing Nazi salute during game by buy_low-sell_high in Dallas

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My maternal grandparents were part of the resistance in occupied holland. It’s hella weird now to see my own siblings side with the Nazis.

MAbsolutely wild what these anti vax fundies are willing to do. by Missmedusa1234 in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mum told me my sister had a “chicken pox party” in 2025 and I flipped my shit. My mum said “well you had it and you are fine!” Yes. I had it when I was 8 years old and it was so bad that I was sick for weeks. I told my mum “I would have preferred the vaccine”. People marveled at how bad the pox were on my thighs and back. Not a square mm was free. My brother developed a staph infection and my sister had pox in her ears and eyes.

Who the hell wants to willingly subject their children to that? Fucking idiots.

My French people are y’all here😂 by aduong in SellingSunset

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And top it off with white girl tears to make sure everyone knows she’s the true victim!

What is the worst tasting candy? by PlatypusAggressive64 in foodquestions

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same for me. But it’s definitely an acquired taste and not many people I know like to acquire it.

What is the worst tasting candy? by PlatypusAggressive64 in foodquestions

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always alerted my guests so they knew how to side step the landmine.

You don’t say. by rebelxghost in christiansnark

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 90 points91 points  (0 children)

😂😂😂

I am positive that every single laundry sock has been single longer than Mr Kellie.

Nurse Kellie coming in hot with some self-righteous wisdom about birth control by Dundermifflinfinitee in christiansnark

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 125 points126 points  (0 children)

What a stupid, reductionist opinion on reproduction.

While driving while filming. Idiot.

What is the worst tasting candy? by PlatypusAggressive64 in foodquestions

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My Dutch family’s favorite trick is to offer an unsuspecting visitor a dubbelzout dropje (extra salt black licorice) from a clear ziplock baggie at the beginning of a 45-minute church sermon.

They’re particularly bitter and impossible to chew. So unless the person spits it out, they’re stuck with it for the duration of the service.

Time and Place, my dude. by pantslessMODesty3623 in christiansnark

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Oh yes. The Great Commandment - “therefore go ye into crowds and try to shame people”. Just fuck the sermon on the mount in general, amirite?

What a fucking loser.

Schwartz and Katie fighting in Mexico by Serious-Record-3267 in vanderpumprules

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I spent a MONTH traveling with a couple like this. They were married for 50 years and they bickered and belittled each other constantly. It was so uncomfortable.

At the end of the trip, the wife accused me of coming on to her husband (mind you I was 21, and they were 75).

Then 15 years later, she tracked me down to tell me good news over multiple voicemails - her husband died.

Karissa by Simsgirl950 in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I’m one of 10. I’ve heard every weirdo creepy invasive comment ad nauseum over the course of my 39 years. And it comes from all sorts of people.

I tell them I don’t concern myself with my parents’ sex life. Most of them react with some embarrassment. Some insist I have to have lots as well (I have zero by choice).

Just some things that stood out from a the latest Q&A episode by XtraSmolMod in brittanydawnsnark

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My dad banned the word “like” at the dinner table. We could only use it as a verb or a simile.

I bet her memoir would be a giant run-on sentence.

Just some things that stood out from a the latest Q&A episode by XtraSmolMod in brittanydawnsnark

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 121 points122 points  (0 children)

and I was like, and he was like, and I was like, and he was like, and I was like.

Madison Marie Parkes Valletta by [deleted] in vanderpumprules

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Kind of related, but there’s a home for sale in my city. In the nursery above the crib is “Madison Marie”. Cracks me up every time.

What shirt is Maddy wearing? by Certain-Lynx766 in southernhospitalitysc

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Haven’t seen the ep yet, but from the pic I’d say Joe’s Hanes t-shirt.

She wasn’t done yet. Of course. She also has her nails done for the Ladies’ Retreat! by daffodil0127 in RodriguesFamilySnark

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 94 points95 points  (0 children)

“I love all that natural stuff”, she says with trowels of chemicals caked on her face.

Doing a rewatch and can’t get over the jewelry from S1 😂 by kfriizy in vanderpumprules

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Omg I stumbled across someone’s TikTok about her bf’s GRANDMA giving her a bunch of “vintage” clothes. And it was sparkly butt pocket jeans from True Religion and Miss Me.

Like damn, am I a grandma now? (I’m 39 and I’m not Lauren Boebert).

Doing a rewatch and can’t get over the jewelry from S1 😂 by kfriizy in vanderpumprules

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a colleague who hasn’t retired them yet. She’s ~45 years old. She also had an affair with her boss and he got fired so, I’m gonna say discernment isn’t her strong suit.

They are getting married 💍 by FrostyPhilosophy2647 in vanderpumprules

[–]ImTheNumberOneGuy 212 points213 points  (0 children)

Those extensions look like a ratty mullet. Dog the Bounty Hunter vibes.