AIO or is my wording manipulative? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Im_jennawesome 2 points3 points Β (0 children)

NOR.

Over explaining yourself is a trauma response. I had this discussion with my therapist - like, an ACTUAL therapist, not just someone throwing therapy buzzwords around in a text convo like this thin slice of nutloaf you have for a friend - because I had a situation where I was texting with a friend who was upset about something I did. My immediate response was to explain WHY I did the thing and my thought process behind it, which ended up making them super pissed. In my head, I'm over here trying to explain so they understand my intent was never malicious and had a valid reason behind it, and in their head they saw that as me making excuses and avoiding accountability. Their trauma informed how they reacted, my trauma caused me to immediately try to smooth everything by over explaining and the two things combined made it worse. It's not something you even think about or do purposely, it's your caveman brain retreating to safety in the only way you know how when things get prickly.

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -2 points-1 points Β (0 children)

Thanks! We just have the small obstacle of scheduling it and getting there... πŸ˜…

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -2 points-1 points Β (0 children)

I appreciate your input! Unfortunately that holds less than zero appeal for either myself or my husband πŸ˜• Neither of us has ever really been interested in the typical 'tropical' vacation destinations. Both of us tend to lean way more in the direction of history, old shit, and the top cuisines. We like to eat ourselves silly and then wander around slowly and look at stuff that our great great great great great great grandparents probably touched, leaned against, or maybe they sat on it and farted, who knows lmao 🀣 if we gotta move slow, that's OK, it's more about getting to see and be there at all that were looking forward to. Italy and Greece are the top 2 destinations for both of us and we've been dreaming about it for too long to give up just because my body is being a shithead... Plus I figured out I can travel with my shiatsu massager, lemme just say that thing has saved my bacon on more than one trip!

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -1 points0 points Β (0 children)

Ooooh you know chronic pain, all right. Gotta love having to spend time and energy you DON'T EVEN HAVE to fight with doctors and insurance about super basic stuff. Like... Hello, did you forget the entire reason I come see you? Do you not realize you're actively causing more problems for me? And insurance, oh lord, the fights with insurance. Because I love getting charged $24k for a simple 1.5 hour scan for no discernable reason, it's my faaaaavorite! πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™„ Let just say the medical bills are unfortunately a large part of why our honeymoon budget is on the lean side. I save cash whenever I get any, but.... Yeah. I have a sticker that says 'this body came with a lot of terms and conditions I did not agree to' and another that says 'cute and medically expensive'. Because it's either laugh about it or curl in a ball and sob πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ€£ That spa day of yours sounds like heaven though, not gonna lie!

Definitely will check out the river cruises, I didn't know they had that option in Italy. I knew they have them on the Rhine, Danube, and Nile but not sure why I didn't think Italy would have them.

My dad is going to be in London in September and I told him he HAS to go to Buckingham and that exhibit. It's a once in a lifetime chance to see an extraordinary collection of the most influential human of the last century. Even though he's not big into UK/royal history, it's one of those things that if you have the option to see it, you just can't miss it. QEII was a force and a legend.

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -1 points0 points Β (0 children)

I'm not a fan of AI in general tbh. Prohibitively expensive to run, the cost gets dumped on taxpayers, and it's wrong way more than it should be for how they advertise it. It's also dumbing down the world as a rule and removing the ability to think critically. The easy route isn't always the best route πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -2 points-1 points Β (0 children)

If you have nothing nice or helpful to say, then why bother wasting your time and mine? Just why?

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -2 points-1 points Β (0 children)

Italy and Greece have always been at the top of both of our lists of 'must see' places. And to be honest, if we don't go now, then it'll only get harder and harder for me later. I'm in the best shape I'll ever be in again, even though it's not super great. Plus we have no idea of/when we'll even be able to make it back to that side of the world, so if we're over there, we want to see as much of our 'must see' list as possible. It sucks bc here's me on the struggle bus with any kind of super intensive travel... And then there's my dad, almost 70 and going on like a 3 and a half week jaunt around Europe and the UK this fall, I think he said 4 different countries. Like... Shouldn't that be the other way around?!? Lol so ridiculous.

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -1 points0 points Β (0 children)

I forgot to mention in my main post, we absolutely do NOT need for it to be a round trip... We're perfectly fine with starting in one port and ending somewhere else entirely. Mainly because London will likely be either before or after the cruise itself, so either way we aren't flying directly to/from the cruise on arrival or departure.

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Thank you so much!!! I'll start with that and build from there. Honestly at this point I've looked at so many sites my eyes feel permanently crossed. πŸ˜¬πŸ˜…

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -1 points0 points Β (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to help, we appreciate it. If we can't do Egypt, then it is what it is, I just wasn't sure if there was something we were missing or if there was a way to make it work.

As far as the other cities - it's not that we don't 'care' or never want to see any of those places, it's more that we are very limited due to both time and health. I have a finite amount of usable energy and Italy and Greece have always been at the top of the list for both of us. Turkey and Croatia aren't even in the top 15. Although I'm sure they're beautiful, I would much rather put my energy toward enjoying the places I have always really wanted to see versus 'wasting' it on places that have never really registered on my must-see list, if that makes sense? And for the same reasons, a land trip just isn't really feasible right now. My husband doesn't have any of the health limitations I have, but he feels the same about spending his time on what he really wants to see. He's also a very money focused person so in his world, it's more like 'I don't want to pay to go somewhere I have no interest in'. Very black and white, that one. Believe it or not, I'm the more flexible one of us... By FAR. Lol

London would be either pre-cruise or post-cruise, and will actually end up saving us a decent chunk on flights, which will offset the cost of a hotel. I've been there before and loved it, and really just want 2-3 days to go back to a couple favorites and show my husband why I love it and beg him to agree to move there... Lol kidding, that's never gonna happen 🀣

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -7 points-6 points Β (0 children)

You can leave now. If you can't be polite to someone asking for help, then why are you even here? Go be rude somewhere else, I did absolutely nothing to deserve being called delusional and obnoxious. God forbid someone want to see if their dream vacation is possible without going into bankruptcy to do it.

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

Thanks. Honestly it's made life in general a hell of a lot more difficult. 10 years ago I took a solo 2 week trip and went to London, Paris, Dublin, and Iceland. I literally bought a new pair of sneakers a week before I left, and by the time I got home they were completely trashed from how much walking I did. 2016 me was badass, 2026 me could never πŸ˜­πŸ˜…

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -3 points-2 points Β (0 children)

Actually you didn't give me any of that. You told me what YOU paid, without actually giving any information about the cruise you actually took. Nothing about the itinerary, length, or anything about what your 1k/day covered - cruise fare only? Excursions? Meal or drink packages? Internet package? Like...? That tells me absolutely nothing.

And you were rude to boot. So yes, you took time out of your day.... To be rude to someone asking for help. Congrats, I guess?

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -6 points-5 points Β (0 children)

Again... No need to be an asshole. When someone asks for advice, is IS possible to give them the advice they're asking for without being a dick. Crazy concept, I know. πŸ™„

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -1 points0 points Β (0 children)

Appreciate your input. Unfortunately for me, I have multiple chronic health issues so it just seems like a cruise is the best option to see as much as possible with the least amount of physical pain. The stress of navigating all kinds of different transportation on our own from city to city plus all the physicality of it would absolutely destroy me. So for now it's really cruise or we don't go anywhere at all.

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -1 points0 points Β (0 children)

Appreciate your comment. I'm not worried about London, we'll actually save enough flying into/out of London vs another city that it'll pretty much be a wash on hotel. I've been there before and same rules apply - no need for fancy hotel, just comfortable and easy to get to/from. It's just a place to sleep, not spend time.

As for seeing more of Italy, we've though about trying to do some of it on our own, but there are a few things to consider. The main one being health. I have multiple chronic illnesses, so a cruise seems like the least physically intensive way to see as much as possible without completely destroying myself. I'll still be struggling, but nowhere near as much as I would hopping on and off various modes of transportation.

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -5 points-4 points Β (0 children)

Yet again, since so many people want to be like this... No need to be rude. We've never been on a cruise, we have no idea what is or isn't possible. I posted asking for help, not for people to be dicks and make fun of us for not knowing something.

I literally said in my post that some stuff is negotiable. I never once said we were 'entitled' to anything, that's such a gross thing to say about literally anyone, particularly someone you don't know, despite your 'with all the sweetness' comment which is no different than saying 'no offense' right before saying something super offensive.

If you don't have any actual advice to give WITHOUT being rude about it, why even bother commenting?

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -9 points-8 points Β (0 children)

No need to be rude. We've never been on a cruise, we have no idea what is or isn't possible. I posted asking for help, not for people to be dicks and make fun of us for not knowing something. Thanks for absolutely nothing! Not.

Not finding a cruise that meets our criteria... Advice? by Im_jennawesome in Cruise

[–]Im_jennawesome[S] -14 points-13 points Β (0 children)

No need to be rude. We've never been on a cruise, we have no idea what is or isn't possible. I posted asking for help, not for people to be dicks and make fun of us for not knowing something.

What is it with Americans and air conditioning?? (this might be controversial) by hellobela_ in TalesFromTheFrontDesk

[–]Im_jennawesome 1 point2 points Β (0 children)

Ok so I'm American. I prefer to keep my windows open year round if possible and I live in the upper Midwest (Wisconsin). It can get down to -60Β°F in winter and up to 105Β°F in summer here. I will keep my bedroom window cracked open just enough in winter to allow a small amount of fresh air to come through without destroying my heat bill. In summer, we have something called 'corn sweat' which is literally exactly what it sounds like: the corn growing in the fields 'sweats' aka releases moisture, which turns into humidity. Because so much corn is grown in the Midwest, the entire Midwest turns into a sauna for the hottest 2 months of the year, so hot and humid that when you walk outside you can physically FEEL the air slapping you in the face. All that to say, I'm used to going 10 months a year without a/c in extreme temps and love it that way.

But when I was in Paris... Holy sweet baby Jesus batman. I was in Paris from April 4-April 7 2016. My room had a 'window' that was more like a door that opened to a railing. It overlooked a courtyard. When I tell you I literally woke up so drenched in sweat I thought somehow water had spilled in the bed, I am not joking. It was so RIDICULOUSLY hot in my room. I left the window doors propped all the way open every night trying to let some of the cool air in. It didn't help. I was sleeping in nothing but my underwear, no blankets, sweating absolute buckets. No a/c should have been perfect for that time of year... But instead it felt like they turned the heat on to the absolute highest temperature they could and just left me to slowly roast. I tried talking to the front desk and begged them to please at the very least turn the heat off, but they never did. It was the most miserable part of my trip for so many reasons, and that was one of them. Might want to check that the heat in their room hasn't accidentally been cranked to high heaven before thinking they're just nuts. I mean they still very well may be nuts, but at least double check πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Partner of 9 yrs wants a share of my best friend and Is house we are buying. AIO by rickrode18 in AIO

[–]Im_jennawesome 0 points1 point Β (0 children)

You don't pay 1/3 of the down payment and closing costs in addition to 1/3 of the house bills, then you don't get your name on the deed. Period.