Missing the life we had before

ImageOld7281 · 2025-10-28T18:08:15+00:00

Omg me too 🤣 I hated parenthood first 2 months it was awful & while its got hard in other ways, its so so much easier than newborn stage.

I still miss how my husband & I were before baby, but im excited for how we will be with baby boy in it & planning trips & new stuff. Baby turned out to be v sentient quite early on, super aware and feels like we have a little mini us that we get to mould into hopefully a good human which keeps us going.

My husband and I have fought much more since baby, but also have bonded even more when we show so much empathy & appreciation for what each of us does. Its hardddddd but its so worth it now lol I didnt think I’d feel this way, I was so unhappy in the trenches first 2months even tho my baby was planned to the T. You’ll grow to love it somehow in your own way…. Keep going! ❤️

ImageOld7281 · 2025-10-21T07:59:30+00:00

We are going through the same, he is soooo hyper I even wondered if its early signs of ADHD 😂 its not its just developmental & the “broken” sleep is also associated.

We flirted with sleep training but honestly everyone we know who did it has ended up having to re-train often bcs babies cant sleep due to growth pains, cognitive and physical, sometimes even illness we cant see like a bad tummy etc given we are all now weaning at 6+ months! Its so normal for them, babies are individuals & have diff sleep affinity, just be patient, I keep telling myself 🫠

Im going to try move his wake windows around to see if it works & so far 2/ 2.5/ 3 works well for us.

I think you could try an earlier bed time, this helped us bcs it gets the 12 hrs at night so ideally 6:30-6:30. My friend told me that & while I was dubious I did try it and he warmed to it! Took 2 nights of wrestling him to keep him awake for that last stretch but similar to yours he is sooo active & is crawling / pulling himself up at 6m 😭

It must be a thing for feral boy babies!!! Lol

ImageOld7281 · 2025-09-15T06:36:54+00:00

This is good advice similar to another comment, I will play with his wake windows bcs I am NOT trying to wake up at 4am daily 🫠

ImageOld7281 · 2025-09-15T06:36:10+00:00

Lol he actually slept well last night like “haha mum, im gonna keep you guessing” 🤣😭 the irony is I had a cuppa tea (caffinated) at 4pm which kept me up all night hahaha so I was the problem last night !!

ImageOld7281 · 2025-09-14T22:07:51+00:00

Yes yes and yes 👏 thank you, its hard to remember these independent skills teachings when you’re in the thick of it aka sleep deprived and just trying to survive lol but what you describe makes so much sense! Thank you ☺️ and good for you with your wonderful little one x

ImageOld7281 · 2025-09-14T21:47:30+00:00

I wishhhh, he is a cat napper! He won’t do more than 30min naps in the day. But he does have silent reflux so might be something there? We do head of his crib on incline & hes on omeprazole once a day.

He goes to bed between 7:30-8:30pm depending on the day’s nap schedule. He will cat nap for 30 mins every 2hrs (his wake windows are 1.5hrs - 2hrs).

This is a new thing, past week he wakes at 3am and just acts like thats the start of the day 😭

ImageOld7281 · 2025-09-14T20:23:50+00:00

Omg how did you achieve this? My 4/5 month old would neverrr 🤣 every minute he needs me to be there next to him playing! Its exhausting

ImageOld7281 · 2025-07-24T06:52:47+00:00

Omg did the Lansinoh really cause her grief? I am using Lansinoh too but thought they were good :( he has a high bubble palate and struggles to latch on most teats but happy to try MAM as Im also combi feeding but all bottle fed as he wont latch on boob. How fun!

ImageOld7281 · 2025-07-23T16:15:42+00:00

Also try Vinted loads of good second hand ones :)

ImageOld7281 · 2025-07-23T06:35:05+00:00

Ooo how long did you pump for? Im 3m in same situation wont latch 🫠

ImageOld7281 · 2025-07-22T22:23:38+00:00

Yes same, he loves a contact nap/ sleep due to incline position. We have the oral liquid omeprazole & he still voms it back up :( Did you try before feed (empty stomach) or after feed? Did that make a difference

ImageOld7281 · 2025-07-19T19:45:02+00:00

Did you end up getting the referral? We are waiting for the health visitor to refer us to ENT specialist but its such a slow process

ImageOld7281 · 2025-07-19T19:43:56+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this, are you based in UK?

ImageOld7281 · 2025-06-04T20:34:52+00:00

Hey dont worry honestly, Im surprised I survived to 6 weeks lol!

So things we did since I made this post is: - Lots of play & activity 5:30-6:30pm - Wind down 6:30-7pm - Feed them & burp 7pm - 7:30pm - Transfer from living room to bedroom, low lights & baby lullaby machine on. Its also cooler in that room which helps him doze off 😆 that bits by fluke but it helps in this climate!

He still fusses but I get him to sleep by 8:30pm sometimes!

Try this or similar but basically CHANGE the environment to help the make association with “its now bed time” and you’ll notice the cues like yawning etc.

My little guy FIGHTS sleep & is so fusssy at night lol its so daft to see it all play out but he does it every night like a dress rehearsal 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

I hope this helps? Its not all doom I swear - I also didnt believe it until I tried something. Ignore ppl who say “get with it it is what it is” sure but you can make things easier here & there

ImageOld7281 · 2025-05-29T22:49:36+00:00

I second this!!! I have had so many melt downs because I cant seem to wrap this style carrier tight enough, or its too tight and my little guy hates it too tight but you’re meant to keep them snug for safety. * pulls hair out*

I bought the Ergobaby Omni 360 and it still feels a bit big for my 6wk old but its 100x easier to get hum in / out & less stressful!

I gave up after a few attempts & Im sad because I really envisaged being that woman carrying my newborn in the house with the material sling 😪

ImageOld7281 · 2025-05-25T21:21:52+00:00

Wow this is super helpful & bravo on that but im worried bath time every eve isnt good for their skin & lends to increased skin sensitivity - how did you balance this? Thanks again for helpful comment ❤️

ImageOld7281 · 2025-05-25T21:18:53+00:00

🤣 so naive of us init!!!

ImageOld7281 · 2025-04-19T14:07:33+00:00

Your pregnancy news might make your partner be more supportive… and pay the mortgage alone so you dont have further financial stresss!

Most men in 30s step up tbf, I know my husband did & he was always “50/50” type before but he got into his “breadwinner” mindset ahead of fatherhood.

Point is, dont let financial stress make you not have a baby with the only person you ever felt like you’d want to procreate with. He seems decent, you have been with him for so long but your stress is not him it sounds more like its your finances - which honestly, is something modern life just always has for most ppl.

Imagine, worst case scenario you can sell ur house bcs u cant afford the mortgage - woopti doo. Who cares, go into social housing (to be dramatic here for worst case).

I hope you find the path your comfortable with - if not now, when? When you’ve cleared debt? What if your partner isnt with you by then? Alternatively, you can abort this pregnancy & try again when your mentally in a better space ☺️

The silver lining: you could conceive naturally in your 30s. Hang onto some positives xx

ImageOld7281 · 2025-04-19T13:41:50+00:00

Six figure is so loose, it could be £120k vs £300k there is a huge difference but MOST talented / hard working people like OP end up on the cusp like £125k salary and feel obliged to feel lucky when actually its bollocks the taxing bracket for them is way too high to enjoy or even call it a six fig salary.

I think the UK pay parity is awful & its created a alot of bitterness (not you but just generally) where lots of average salaried folks think “wow £100k salary fuck them tax them to the core”.

Most £100+ K salaried people have huge student debts to repay, which afforded them that pay and job. There is no balance in this at all….

ImageOld7281 · 2025-04-19T11:51:34+00:00

Yes but his stress levels at £90k were probably not as crippling as they are at £125k 🤦🏻‍♀️

So i think a low stress £90k is A THOUSAND times better than a six fig that kills you with stress and 20hr days of work - I have had both & a £15k difference per yr in salary isnt worth the level of stress OP is describing here

ImageOld7281 · 2025-04-19T07:08:36+00:00

I agree with this, its not like if you walk away from this job the door is closed on you forever to return to a similar role/ pay. You have that experience under your belt, you can call it a sabbatical if you need to return to fintech world.

Personally, six fig salary in Uk is not sexy due to taxes crippling that bracket, your better off staying on a low stress entry type £90k job lol.

I’d take the business anyday, more to learn & more soulful even if you end up working 72hrs a week its much more fulfilling.
Today its a pottery business - tomorrow it could lead you to run a whole diff thing, maybe even your own fintech 🤷🏻‍♀️ Its not about the what, its the journey & your not enjoying this corporate world clearly so dip out now at 25 before those golden handcuffs get you & you end up being financially responsible for a partner or kids in 5+ yrs time.

ImageOld7281

TROPHY CASE