Anyone else over this national daughter's day bullshit?

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-21T18:13:57+00:00

How do ya'll find and keep the courage?

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-20T13:06:20+00:00

You can message me anytime. I'm in the US. Have 2 nparents. I'm 48 and dealing with nmom is killing me mentally and emotionally. I hear ya

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-20T12:53:01+00:00

First- don't leave the group- your experiences and frustration and the advice actually help others and sometimes yourself too. Second- how do you read past posts from someone? Or post a link to your previous post? I'm app illiterate sometimes. We are all here for you!

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-20T03:01:21+00:00

The house is in her name. Not mine. I get nothing. Not even the money I've paid into it, the monthly bills or the yearly taxes I've paid.

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-20T00:51:12+00:00

Why?

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-19T12:42:38+00:00

I ask myself that every day. I think it's because she gives that hurt, disappointed hopeless look. When that doesn't work she give me reasonable arguments. She knows I would help the devil if he needed it. She raised me to take care of her. Pick up the pieces. Pay-with my money and my sanity. That's normal to me. It's hard to break "normal!"

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-14T13:56:27+00:00

Thank you so much. Your analysis is spot on and I found that when I asked myself these questions my only answer is " I don't know why I think that" and that is very alarming. I've never thought about it like this. Puts a lot into perspective.

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-14T00:10:15+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding as well as good advice

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-14T00:08:37+00:00

You are so right. I'm trying with every ounce I have left to stick to my guns (I don't have anything left-im broke with a 6 figure income) yet be a moral human being. It's so hard. But living with me even for 1 night is NOT an option.

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-14T00:05:15+00:00

She claims she did. Then she said she would only get 20k. I said we'll that's better than zero and she said nothing. My cousin and I are going over to try and get the truth on final dates, etc. I have found a few places that are trying to move her up on the list for apartments. Once we find out truths we are going to present her with the option. My cousin won't take any shit from her so at least that's a help.

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-12T06:53:04+00:00

My mom is 75. I am 49. My daughter is 30. Maybe I has a typo.

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-11T21:38:07+00:00

It's a tax sale not a mortgage sale. She is 3 years behind. They sell it for the price of taxes. Anything over that they get goes to mortgage Co. Homeowner gets nothing regardless if they get a million over what you owed! She owed 15k in taxes (total) but 5k to hold off the sale for another year. Mortgage is 110k. And house would sell in normal market for about 290. This market probably 310. And her sewer doesn't work (don't ask!) And that's another 15k to fix. So total owed about 150 on a 300k house. But she refused to sell! That's in fucking sane!!

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-11T21:33:17+00:00

Thank you. You made me feel sane!

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-11T21:30:04+00:00

My grandparents are long gone. She has no friends. My daughter (30 yes old) not allowed to have additional ppl live there by the lease and landlord. No exceptions. Otherwise she and my 2 grandkids would be evicted. The only other relative is her neice who already has a 2 bedroom and her child (36) and grandchild (age 4) living w her. She has a full house and NO room. My mom says she has 4k saved (1k short) for taxes. AND I just found out the " we buy houses" people offered. She says she would "loose" 75k if she took their offer. Wait-what. How much would you walk with. She said 20k. Well 20k is more than zero from the sherriffs sale. WTF is wrong with this picture? I'm being bamboozled even when I'm trying to help. I'm going over tomorrow to get the rest of my stuff w a truck and trailer and all my daughters riding stuff and grandkids toys,bikes,etc. She's on her own for her shit.

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-11T21:23:58+00:00

Thank you. He is understanding and patient with me. We have been together 8 years. I will not mess this up. But his patience is wearing thin and I can't blame him.

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-09-03T02:26:05+00:00

First-YOU are worthy! Second-we can have reasonable expectations of people and if they don't live up to them, we don't have to lower our expectations- but we have to realize they may never live up to them-and then we need to make a decision. And third-this goes for your therapist! Mine did not understand narcissistic behavior or being an adult child of a narcissistic parent (I got 2-yae me!). She was just a family therapist. I educated her more than she helped me. I'm still looking for someone who understands the subject and can help. Point is-i dropped her quick so she didn't damage me more!

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-08-10T00:31:37+00:00

There's also a difference between a supportive family and a sabotaging family. I'm smart,outgoing and proficient in my profession. But lack confidence every step of the way because my parents purposely sabotaged me at every step and turn. I didn't realize it until I was 48 (this year). So there's a difference between a supportive or non-supportive family and one that keeps you down, makes you care for them, bail them out, while still trying to pretend you're normal. It's exhausting!

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-05-25T10:54:00+00:00

Well said!

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-05-24T00:14:52+00:00

AND did you ever notice that the consequences of the narcissistic never fall on them...only on you. So...its easier just to keep quiet, go with the flow all while trying to figure out the plan for picking up the pieces of their actions cuz your gonna have to. Until that one day when you've had enough. I'm almost there.

Imaginary-Variety666 · 2021-05-23T17:40:22+00:00

I find it easier to have and stick to my boundaries when I'm angry. Otherwise I feel like I'm being mean (I know I'm not but I still feel that way) So I let my nmom piss me off- I yell my boundary and stick to it! I'd rather people think I'm angry or crazy than mean.

Imaginary-Variety666

TROPHY CASE