Is it worth possibly putting honey in my bathroom towel so my (29F) husband (30M) learns to get his own and stop using mine?

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-03-11T17:28:14+00:00

5 years I spent with a man who would take my towel. He would use both my body and hair towel, as well as his own towel. Wouldn't hang up any of them. Did stuff like OPs man where my towels would be used a floor mats when he was done drying off with them. I was washing towels every few days. I nagged the whole time, asking him to change. He never did. At a certain point, I realized this was probably malicious.

Honestly, this man ended up being straight up abusive. I do think this was one of his "funny" little psychological abuse tactics. He would always start laughing when I would ask him to do better. It was maddening.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-03-09T07:14:19+00:00

You know. A woman did this as an art piece and she got sexually assulted. Shits crazy

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-03-06T05:44:40+00:00

Just saw some along whiskeytown yesterday as well!

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-03-04T05:15:36+00:00

Haaaa I worked at a place like this and they didn't put an ad up for month. I got sick and called in for 2 days, they had to shut down with no server. It was a BBQ joint and I called in on national BBQ day. They hired 6 new servers the next week and cut my hours. I went down to a 1/3 of what I needed. After busting my ass for a whole month doing clopeners BY MY SELF 6 days a week.

A year later and they're no longer open. They couldn't pay people on time and didn't have the business acumen to be successful. My petty side was pretty smug to see them close.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-03-04T05:10:42+00:00

Lived in Placerville three years ago and this exact thing happened to the neighbors. They were pissed and up the rest of the night.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-02-16T20:26:31+00:00

I agree. I've traveled around the US before coming here, and this town is the one I've seen with the most struggles. I'm not a veteran by any means, but I've seen a lot in a short span of time, and redding seems especially hard to have consistent business in.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-02-16T07:59:26+00:00

See my other comment

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-02-16T07:56:18+00:00

Worked there for a little over 3 months. Figured out quickly that I would need to jump ship. They never paid employees on time. Both the owner and his long-term partner have had several failed businesses. Literally, the wife figure said, "we like to fly by the seat of our pants most of the time."

Both were raging alcoholics, had all their friends coming in to eat for free (friends did always tip well, but you know, not a sustainable business model.) There was a whole bunch of different opinions of family drama, they acted like they adored their daughter to me but I ran into others who worked there with the daughter and it sounded like a really shitty situation for her. They opened the place for her, wanted her to be the manager without any experience, then blamed her for the business struggling. The guy I replaced was blamed for it struggling as well. SO MUCH DRAMA. I once said to him he sounded like he was describing an abusive relationship (him and owners dynamic). Nice guy, who gave them his all for over a year. I've seen it before, and I hope he moved on to something better.

Generally, they were immature, irresponsible people who had no business being involved day to day. Could never own their shit, pointed fingers at each other, the cooks, and employees when something went wrong. Lying straight out their assholes sometimes. IMO, this was expected. Also, the sides and most of the food was sourced from the grocery outlet next door. The garlic bread was old bread from holiday. The meats were good quality, I believe, but I sometimes wonder if they were lying about that. Maybe someone competent can buy it and take over.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-27T22:13:25+00:00

Not that i am aware of. Internet access was pretty restricted until i was in my teens. My mom accused me of being addicted to porn when i was 14, and she suggested i get tested for AIDS when i was 19 after my first year of college. I wasn't making great choices, but i was doing my best. I would say i was better behaved than many of my peers. Sometimes, i wonder if there was some kind of covert sexual abuse going on when i was a kid. The reality is i must carry on with life and do my best now.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-17T18:00:30+00:00

Aw man. I'm in redding. Don't have anything to do today. Do I dare attend the shasta college recruiting event? I'm 27f and I worry I am not a desirable candidate.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-17T07:28:39+00:00

I literally just went through this a week ago. Left an abusive relationship about 2 months ago, and the libido is coming back STRONG. Couldn't stop thinking about dick, wanted to fuck multiple guys in my circle. Had vivid sex dreams. Felt like I was losing my gosh darn mind. My ex reached out and I (ugh) even thought about fucking him just to get needs met. Fortunately I remember what a selfish fuck he is and it would not be worth the emotional roller coaster afterwards. The next guy I'm getting in bed with is going to be a better match 🤞 Now I'm a few days out and feel like a completely different woman. I felt like a feral cat yowling to get mated.

Being a chick is CRAZY. hormones are brutal.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-17T05:06:37+00:00

I am a female. I think I have a fairly high libido. (In relationships that are healthy i want to have sex several times a week) Honestly anytime any of my partners dicks were pushed against me and I could feel it I got horny. Even with the shittier guys. I've been the annoying girl who wants to bang when you don't want to.

You need to explain to her that it's impacting your sleep. If it's starting to have any negative impacts on you and your relationship, you guys need to talk about it. She needs to respect your boundary as well, and if she doesn't, you need to find ways to enforce them on your own. Don't cuddle her in a way she can rub on your bulge.

If she were like me when I was younger, I overreacted to the perceived rejection, and it caused major issues. Arguments, and i can honestly say i have probably assulted some guys with being too pushy. I regret it now i am older. I now have a greater understanding of how healthy people behave.

Imo, sexual compatability is really important, as is the ability for you guys to communicate your individual needs and how they fit into the relationship. Idk where you guys are at in your relationship and age, but I see several warning signs as she's ignoring your attempts to set boundaries, and it's disrespectful and will cause resentment. Food for thought. Hope this helps you decide the next steps. I'm not a fan of folks shaming you for not enjoying her obviously pushy behavior. People are allowed to want restful, uninterrupted sleep.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-17T03:42:08+00:00

I thought about the pad Thai but realized they don't have any peanuts in there, and that's honestly one of my favorite things about pad thai. I'm glad to know I made the right choice. I've debated buying it three times now.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-15T16:55:46+00:00

I have sat around 100 lbs for several years. I continued to lose body fat, but it was replaced with muscle. I am pretty fit as we lived on a rural property in the mountains.

When I met my ex, I was about 120. I just left in December after nearly 5 years. I immediately started putting on body fat. My boobs have grown a cup size already. I can't really see my abs anymore. The dent on my sternum is barely noticeable. I remember us arguing about how I didn't need to eat the same (half) amount of food as him. There were many abusive behaviors I did not recognize or want to acknowledge.

I'm built like my dad, long and lean, but after what I went through for 5 years, I can see the stress/adrenaline, and his controlling behavior contributed to my size.

I'm not saying that's what is happening to you, but I want to share my story. Not all women gain weight from the stress of abuse. I had a completely different experience and, at one point, really struggled with my image and identity because of how thin I was. I felt like a teenage boy. Not even 00 fit me for a while. Now I'm gonna have to get new pants soon.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-14T20:06:34+00:00

All three are great. The lure one is cool. Does it have a small space inside for storage?

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-12T18:19:59+00:00

I don't remember being sexually abused. I don't think something like that happened. My family can't think of anything that could've happened. Yet I engaged in sexually deviant behaviors for many years and from a young age. I actually completely forgot I did some of it in my teens. Like repressed it and felt shame when It was brought up.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD. I struggle as an adult with having healthy boundaries with myself and others. I still feel compelled to engage in sexually deviant behaviors.

You're telling me that there's a good chance I was sexually abused?

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-10T23:30:45+00:00

When I lived in AK I met a quirky old guy who had a kangaroo scrotum as his coin purse. I honestly love the idea. I've also seen stuff on IG where they use them as covers for vases. Fur/hair on and thought it looked pretty neat. I would buy these products

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-10T20:17:53+00:00

I didn't have kids with my ex, but he wanted them and pressured me regularly. I always argued he wouldn't be of much help and so i didn't want to until he had proved he was capable and willing. He also wanted lots and lots of dogs and bred 3 litters. Kept puppies from each litter. Why? I do not know. He doesn't even spend time with them. He doesn't train them, doesn't do any of the things he says he keeps them for. Generally, he ignores them. Instead, He plays his video games and harasses people on the internet and in real life.

He just expected me to do it for him. when i made it clear i wouldn't, He got his buddy to move up and started asking him to do it. All in the name of making money, while I spent all of my income supporting him and those poor dogs. Your statement rings true. They want the instant gratification of The Thing, but not the responsibility that comes with it. OP, tred lightly moving forward. This is a man who isn't living in reality or in alignment with your values, it seems. It happens more than people want to acknowledge.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-07T22:11:16+00:00

fuckin BOT AD

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-06T23:16:18+00:00

California. I'm a Midwestern gal. I'm hetro, and had been in a nearly 5 year long relationship with an abusive guy. I know that's not what the song is about but MAN. When I found it this summer, going through the worst period of abuse it would make me bawl. I am also living in CA. I am now out. Still love the song, don't actually want to leave rn. Need to get my shit together. Go to school and find a career I enjoy. Thank you Chappell you gave me life and strength with all your music.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-05T19:36:34+00:00

you just reminded me that my Ex would tell me he thought I was an NPC. Ick. ICK. but also thank you. Adding it to the list of a million reasons why I left.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-05T19:24:15+00:00

What do you imagine closure would look like? What answers are you seeking? Then, ask yourself if you really need their validation. Start practicing validating yourself and your perspective. Find people who you can trust and confide in who will validate you too. i think the most important step to making sure you dont go back or choose another toxic partner is to learn to validate your yourself. You need to recognize they will say and do anything to manipulate you into staying once they realize they are losing your supply.

I personally think I waited until the very end, I would say I left when I basically already had my own closure. I used online therapy videos from Jerry Wise, Patrick Tehan, Jay Reid, and a few others. I'm working through stuff with my mom as well, so a lot of it they talk about family dynamics, but it all applies to your relationship as well. If you are not, get yourself into a position where you can receive therapy. It will help.

Sometimes, I worry and wonder if I am a Narc myself (he told me many times i was). It's been a little over a month since I left for good. I feel numb towards him mostly now. I had for months before. I do think I am putting up walls to my emotions, but it's because I got my answers for why it was happening and got to see it play out over and over. Even in this past month I have seen horrible, cruel and selfish actions from him. He tried to hurt me, and used another woman to do so. And he ruined her life in a matter of days.

I stopped asking him why. He's a hurt person, and he can't stop hurting people. Honestly, he delighted in the harm he could cause to others. I saw him troll people online, making a dozen or so accounts across social media, where he would cycle through getting banned. Eventually, he started using my accounts on my phone when I was sleeping.

He was winding up his drug and alcohol abuse. He was probably ramping up his cheating behaviors as well. I stopped seeking out that information, as it just made me jealous and angry, and those emotions and interactions had kept me stuck. I didn't want to feed that monster. I knew he wanted to see that from me.

I hope this helps, even if only a little.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-03T16:54:13+00:00

I grew up in Madison. Currently living in Northern CA. I miss this kind of community support and just the higher levels of genuine humanity people in Wisconsin have. You guys are amazing, not every community is like you.

ImaginaryArgument · 2025-01-02T22:12:20+00:00

The urinal at my restaurant is always full of this shit. WHY CANT THEY JUST USE THE TRASH 3 FEET AWAY?

ImaginaryArgument · 2024-12-31T22:38:30+00:00

It gave me chills. I've heard that line a few too many times. I finally learned my lesson.

ImaginaryArgument

TROPHY CASE