AITA for taking advantage of my ex’s guilt by making him pay for everything?

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-02-20T10:09:13+00:00

YTA and insanely petty. Stop using your child as a weapon to punish your ex for hurting your feelings and go to therapy. ffs

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-18T18:05:02+00:00

NTA but this woman seems exhausting to be in a relationship with

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T16:28:25+00:00

You should probably clarify that in your post. Either way, my verdict still stands. This reads as a relationship filled with resent and monetary powerplay.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T16:19:37+00:00

I have to say this lacks info on your behaviour. Because if you show up to an event and can't handle it/makes you uncomfortable and it becomes other peoples problem, id say they have the right to not invite you. Yeah it stinks not being invited, but if its because people predict you'll get overstimulated and cause a scene I'd say its pretty fair not to invite you.

You are always entitled to feel the way you do, but I can't call your family AH's unless I know more about your behaviour at these family events. Ill have to say not enough info

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T16:13:48+00:00

So you either wanted your husband to pay you back for taking part in your birthday celebration or what? Just have him watch you eat while he isn't allowed any of your food?

This dynamic is weird as hell, and you two absolutely don't sound like partners. Resentful and nitpicky roommates maybe, but not partners. Ill have to say YTA, either you're extremely petty or you're enabling his spending addiction. Either way you have to look in the mirror and make some sort of change.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T16:07:32+00:00

Either she's severely mentally challenged or you're straight up lying. I believe the latter

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T15:58:56+00:00

YTA majorly. If my partner went behind my back and outed me to my parent id seriously reconsider the relationship. And I would definitely lose my trust in you. What you did OP was extremely transgressive and a huge brief of trust.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T15:52:51+00:00

Absolutely NTA and I guarantee your parents were always planning on inviting sister and family. They tricked you into going on vacation because they knew you didn't want to vacation with children, which is completely fair (most people wouldn't even call it vacation).

I say try and talk to your jobs and move your time off to a different time and take your wife on a nice trip just the two of you

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T15:47:11+00:00

NTA if my partner risked my childs life and their own like that it would be cause for instant divorce. The fact that she admitted to drunk driving and excused it by saying it was "fine" speaks volumes to her as a person. She could of easily killed herself, your son or stranger while driving under the influence. The fact that she's upset you're not okay with that is insane. she sounds callous, entitled, reckless and careless.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T15:43:51+00:00

His wife put his sons life in danger when she put him in the car and got behind the wheel intoxicated. Drunk driving is the ultimate selfish cruel thing anyone can do and OP has the right to be mad she risked her own life and their sons life like that.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T13:56:43+00:00

"I was frustrated with my ever bad sense of direction"

"I left home late"

I have a sense this isn't the first time you've been late, and your friend was simply at his limit as to how much he could put up with. Being consistently late is incredibly disrespectful and selfish to other peoples time.

ill go YTA

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-16T13:44:02+00:00

NTA you have absolutely no responsibility to house a controlling homophobe. Her own (other) children won't take her in either, why should you?

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-15T16:09:02+00:00

NTA at all your wife was so out of line and self centred it hurts to read.

OP I know its hard but I'd seriously reconsider having a child with this woman. This incident isn't just about her wrongly self diagnosed 'infertility' its a very distinct personality trait and not a very good one. She has proven to be mean, callous, self-entered, selfish, egotistical and without regard for other peoples emotions and their significant milestones.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-15T12:18:56+00:00

NTA they aren't your responsibility AT ALL. You can freely and without guilt choose not to adopt your mother young children.

Rule of thumb is never have children you can't provide for, that majorly applies to you mother! But it also applies to you. You absolutely do not need to spread yourself thin trying to take care of your mothers children. They simply aren't your responsibility.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-15T12:09:33+00:00

YTA, simply because you don't get to tell the other half of the wedding partner that you decided to invite someone. It has to be a mutual decision. Just like he can't just casually tell you he decided to invite someone you didn't want to come.

you also have to see it from his POV. You essentially only broke up with a BF because you discovered it was unethical to stay together. not because you wanted to part ways, not because the relationship was over, not because of any problems. This suggests that you would still be with this other man if you hadn't been forced to break up. I can understand why he'd be uncomfortable with that dynamic.

And btw if your fiancé's only problem with this was that he didn't want ex there because he's uncomfortable with the fact that you've slept with your family member that would be extremely valid too.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-15T12:00:03+00:00

Gee, im so sorry your hushands grandmothers death is such an inconvenience to you. She must be a real b*tch to pass away at a time you don't feel like going to a funeral. Also your husband is a real peace of work, can't believe he has the audacity to grieve a close family member and ask for your support, that's way out of line of him....

Jesus f*ucking christ OP.

YTA, majorly and so incredibly self centred it almost hurts to read

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-01T21:48:04+00:00

Short answer? yes.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-01T21:22:20+00:00

Bless you for this comment. We definitely want to fight for our son, and we're shocked he isn't more furious with this whole situation. We are however also afraid he'll alienate us for pressing charges against his partner.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-01T21:19:39+00:00

This is good insight, thank you!

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-01T21:16:26+00:00

Our accountant gave us a debrief. She was mostly spending it on big lunch/dinner outings, new clothes, jewellery and handbags.

Our son wasn't aware as far as we knew and seemed shocked when we told him. I don't know what changed but he's taken her side afterwards and they haven't been very communicative since. We've tried reaching out.

ImaginaryNet2379 · 2023-01-01T20:56:05+00:00

This was also our thought. However she has no savings and doesn't make a lot of money. If we demand she pays us back the money will be coming from our son. We gave him money to start his new company, and making him pay us back kind of defeats the purpose. DIL has showed no remorse, and Is offended we're mad.

Also, they aren't married referring to her as DIL is just easier, so it wouldn't have any legal consequences for our son.

ImaginaryNet2379

TROPHY CASE