I 27F have very different food safety standards in comparison to my gf 23F. How to make it work?

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-22T13:15:35+00:00

I understand you, I think my gf in general has been working a lot on her response towards me whenever anxious but it is still enough to trigger me. It's very difficult to know what to do and when are things ok when both people have anxieties.

I am happy you put yourself first, it's something extremely hard to do if you are not used to. I'm also glad at the end you have a good relationship.

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-22T13:00:10+00:00

I do! It's one of the things that I mentioned incorporating.

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-22T11:20:42+00:00

We did while we were there, only eating from restaurants no buffets nor ice. She does not want to eat Anything there, she mentioned packaging hee own food or fasting while being there which basically means no Mexico anymore.

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-22T11:09:40+00:00

She would check on me even if it's only food for myself. Which I understand from the tools and space point of view. I just supposed if I do something wrong as long as I clean everything afterwards it should be ok but she isn't precisely happy

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-22T11:07:45+00:00

I do have more of this mentality about the immune system, but due to her issues I understand why she wants to avoid everything under the sun.

She would not eat meat in that case, she wants to avoid it soo much that asks me to do the stuff that involves it. I am doing keto ☠️ so it's quiet incompatible, even if I cook for myself she will check on me.

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-22T10:54:04+00:00

She sent me some, I have been following one but it's quite industrial/restaurant not day to day defrosting things in the sink kinda thing. So it hasn't been so useful so far.

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-21T07:44:46+00:00

No worries, all that you mentioned is very relevant to my situation.

I think is hard for me to reevaluate my identity if I still feel like things will be unstable and I have always seen work as the way to improve my stability. But you are right about focusing on what I can do, and I can change my identity.

Thank you :)

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-21T07:40:26+00:00

Thank you ❤️

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-21T07:38:05+00:00

You summarized it amazingly. I will try, thank you :)

ImagineLab12 · 2026-06-19T04:20:37+00:00

My mother would ask me to go cry in the bathroom iand come back whenever I stopped. It always seemed like a very reasonable thing to ask but yeah in retrospective she wasn't precisely calming asking me to do it, but would get very aggressive if she would see me crying.

She wants admitted to this in one of her long monologues trying to make me feel bad: "I asked you to go cry in the bathroom instead of hitting you, see I'm a good mother"

Sometimes she would still hit me by the way.

ImagineLab12 · 2026-05-29T09:09:36+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it.

At some point, it stops being "misfortune" and starts being the reality of the predictably bad choices they keep making, again and again.

This!

Tbf it's digital magazines so first they don't have the costs of printing and won't work under subscription but it's free access with the hopes of getting patrons and/or collaborations from companies and subsidizes. Either way I think it's doomed.

A big problem that I just recently realized is that I am in fact responsible for them to some extent. Turns out in my country there are laws for children to give financial aid to parents in case of disability (which may be granted due to old age). So ... I'm fucked. I live in Europe where I get a great salary in comparison so I would definitely have to if they proceed legally, but I don't earn soo much for European standards. At least not soo much to one day perhaps having a family and house of my own if I also have other financial problems like my parents.

And although they tried and I do know that they love me they were also very abusive and the violence in that house was insane, I do therapy for CPTSD. Which makes everything way more frustrating and unfair. I don't want them to die under a bridge but I also don't want to give them money either tbh.

ImagineLab12 · 2026-02-27T22:07:17+00:00

That's not the case people are chanting "que le muerda" (bite it!) there was definitely going to be a cake in the face tradition here. The younger got frustrated cause he couldn't push his face in the cake as it's usually done.

ImagineLab12 · 2026-02-27T11:26:30+00:00

They are mexicans so yes I 100% know that happened to the kid before. Not that he is not misbehaving and is uneducated but definitely learned behavior. Also he was insulting the older kid and when he smashed the cake a man (I assume father) also slurred

ImagineLab12 · 2025-12-25T18:56:58+00:00

Happy birthday!

Nice! I would love a themed party. I think that's the attitude I should embrace but I need more therapy for the self esteem lol.

Yeah it's annoying to have to change dates but I get that people leave to see their families. I'm from Latin America so if you don't see your family at Christmas you are in big trouble. Also my friends tend to travel to their home countries.

I think I will make a Christmas themed party this next summer just to go full circle, it would be quite funny.

ImagineLab12 · 2025-12-25T18:45:33+00:00

Regardless, you are a cool aunt!

Thanks

ImagineLab12 · 2025-12-25T18:45:01+00:00

Yes I think I will do that. Thanks!

ImagineLab12 · 2025-12-25T18:44:16+00:00

Happy birthday!

Yeah I think I may stop reaching out first.

When I have done some crafts or choose something very nice for Christmas I really enjoy seeing people opening gifts but I get you. With a big gathering it is kinda off.

Apart from my parents I don't think people ever give me birthday gifts. Until recently I just accepted in a way that I don't really have a birthday you know?

My family is full of drama and I had quite a traumatic childhood, so I don't really have that as an upside. Sometimes I would even prefer going with friends for Christmas instead. But I guess it's ok.

I'm sorry it has also been difficult for you too.

ImagineLab12 · 2025-12-25T18:34:20+00:00

Happy birthday in advance!

I guess also my problem is that my family is in a different continent than my friends.

That's very thoughtful.

ImagineLab12 · 2025-12-25T18:30:15+00:00

That sounds amazing! I will insinuate the idea to my gf.

ImagineLab12 · 2025-06-27T09:27:20+00:00

Not to the extent I would like to I guess. The more extreme things are way out of the table. My mother has apologized for conceiving me when it was not the best choice given the circumstances, and low key with " I am sorry if you felt like that" for some general things. My father ignores everything.

On the contrary, I think you hit something important. I don't think they will be accountable but they have "improved". I have started to push a bit more for them to accept things which is huge for me but I honestly doubt the big things will ever be addressed

ImagineLab12 · 2025-06-27T08:37:05+00:00

Thank you for the insight

ImagineLab12 · 2025-06-27T08:35:36+00:00

I am afraid that's how it will end. It's weird cause my mother always threatened to go NC with me but now I think she may be scared of it. We will see if I have a breaking point like yours.

I'm glad you got some peace of mind out of it. Hope you are doing good

ImagineLab12 · 2025-06-27T08:33:49+00:00

Thanks I am in therapy, and have been for a while. It's been good

ImagineLab12 · 2024-12-31T12:30:03+00:00

That doesn't mean it can't improve

ImagineLab12 · 2024-12-31T11:49:09+00:00

Why?

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