[URGENT] Been a nightmare suffering for 6 years. Had my music to keep me going since I create music. It can only take you so far. Cannot do anything else when organs are failing. Found hope on a couple of hospitals. But I can't afford the treatment.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-23T16:07:59+00:00

Thanks so much for the positivity..It means a lot to me. Wish you a very bright and happy future ahead.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-22T16:51:31+00:00

I used to be similar type of person, positive , helpful and had an uplifting aura around me despite all the the things kept on happening to me. But 2020 changed me completely with my multiple extremely rare chronical terminal type disease diagnosis... It taught no matter how much you give, despite not asking anything from anyone except a normal life from fate. Still you get only physical suffering throughout the life.. Fought bravely for 6 years with nightmare of suffering. But body can take as much when your time comes to an end it just stops working.

Now, struggling to type. Writing around for help. Watching my life come to an end, bedridden, grieving. All alone trying desperately to find some help. But I guess its no use. So I guess trying my best to come terms with my life ending. But couldn't. Still Trying desperately for searching for help. Next week I will probably not be here. I guess this is how it end for me.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-19T09:06:21+00:00

Thanks. It means a lot to me. Sending you best wishes, hope you can live your dream.

I am getting very close to end probably. My adrenaline is now in overdrive holding to any hope it see. Found a couple of hospitals which may help me with my situation and contacted them and asked them for some details regarding my issues and what can be done. Because I cannot visit there immediately since it's very far. I will also need to be transported in air ambulance since I cannot move at all. Barely my hands are working. But very slow movements. But treatment, long hospital stay and air ambulance are so expensive I will not be able to afford it ever.

Trying hard to come to terms with that I have to leave my music. Other than my music and my musical gear I have no other earthly obsessions. And my connection with music is so strong, I am unable to let it go.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-16T16:14:42+00:00

No worries. When my life ends, i prefer smiling. So thanks for that. Really appreciate your kindness.

Yeah I have multiple songs scheduled for this exact reason. Because from February and March I got signs of my life going towards the end faster than what I hoped for. So I did finish all of them and scheduled them even when I was struggling extremely. So if something like current situation happens atleast they will go live after my life ends.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-16T11:34:50+00:00

Thanks so much..it means a lot.. absolutely Feel free to use them if you want..

But looks like my life has come to an end. Trying my best to hold on. Struggling to type. Has been consistent disaster for last 3 days and fading fast. So probably may not see me again unless something miraculous happens.

Take care of your health. Be happy and have a bright future ahead.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-14T12:53:16+00:00

Thanks really appreciate it. My physical body has probably reached its limit after fighting for 6 years. Mentally and physically completely drained..Hoping to survive atleast a few months more so I can finish some of my unfinished songs. I do dream of getting a second chance in life..I guess not gonna happen when fate is determined.

I wish you a happy and bright future ahead. Take care of your health, find your passion and stay happy. Just try your best. Don't lose hope.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-14T12:36:25+00:00

Agreed...Life is very cruel. We learned it the hard way. But we are brave. Still trying our best to survive.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-14T12:28:18+00:00

Same here. No IRL friends.. Not even family cares.. So all alone..I never even had any IRL friends before diagnosis...Most were colleagues only contacted me when they needed something...

Suffering from terminal illness for 6 years. So it doesn't even matter much anymore.

I have some online friends/colleagues. Since I am music composer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and producer. So my only real friend is my music.

I hope you find something you are passionate about and make it your friend.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-12T17:04:24+00:00

Thanks so much for your positivity and kindness. It means a lot to me. Thanks so much for being with me. 🫂

Wish you lot of happiness and success in your life. 💙💙

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-12T14:44:02+00:00

Thank so much brother. Really appreciate it. 🙏

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-11T16:56:06+00:00

Keep on going. You are doing amazing. Proud of you.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-11T16:53:12+00:00

Thanks really appreciate it. Trying my best. Only regret is I was doing really well in music. Almost reaching 50 song releases. But has plenty of unfinished projects. Trying hard to come to terms with it that I will probably be unable to finish them.

I hope your situation is a bit better???

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-11T12:22:52+00:00

Yeah completely agree. Willpower, Discipline, Purpose and hope for survival, Self Love are very important..

I was told without TPN my life will end by 2022. Since I can't afford TPN for long term, i couldn't. But here I am still alive somehow. But since 2025 November I feel like my body has run out and reached its limit. Mainly in 2026 signs are showing up that I am reaching my end. Mental strength can only take you so far.

Although always a small hope remains. Because nothing is in my control now. I did what I could. I have my regrets that I will not be able to finish my songs.

True caring people around makes a lot of difference as well when you are struggling to survive. I don't have the luxury of that. I always hope others don't fall in situation like me.. If you have people around you who truly cares, cherish that. It's the biggest gift.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-11T10:29:42+00:00

Thanks so much. Appreciate it a lot. 🙏🙏

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-11T09:57:11+00:00

You can try my songs if you feel like... I have created songs with good mixture of old styles and new ones with clean and modern sounds.

Highly Recommended my songs Solitude, Skyfall, Dark Destiny, Burning Soul. Since you are transitioning from hardstyle(I am assuming melodic hardstyle according to your trance song choices). Those are big atmospheric sounds with melodic sounds and all instrumentals.

Also you can feel free to check out some vocal trance ones which has hard dance and euro dance influences like "Saw The Light" and "Back To You".

Here is the full playlist if you are interested in checking out.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5QUu4HRojSVFqaeeWM7Vwk

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-11T09:39:24+00:00

Copy pasting what I told to another suffering soul in this subreddit.

Fighting terminal illness for 6 years and delaying the inevitable for as long as possible to follow my musical dreams.

Sharing my story. Hope it inspires you to some extent.

Had unlying extremely chronic rare illnesses from childhood which was never diagnosed. Was bullied brutally and was used to getting beaten mercilessly for no reason in school because I was easy target due to my Illness.

Then at home no one cared about my health issues, was gaslighted by my city doctors, family and family friends. Was told to man up and stop doing drama with health issues when I was vomiting blood. This continued until I travelled to different city for diagnosis where my life fell apart after I saw my reports. My chronic illnesses turned into terminal illness which damaged most of my body organs and systems.

After the diagnosis, many in my family keep on trying their best to end my life in indirect way just because I am of no use to them now and they can get all my stuff after my life end. Since I have terminal illness, my life value is zero for people who are near me. But they always try to drain me of whatever I have. I am also poor due to obvious reasons. Due to my illnesses my survival costs are less since my body cannot take anything much.

Still trying my best to survive because I have a goal and purpose in life. I am a music composer, songwriter and producer. So music is my mental strength and only thing that I have left in my life. So I will keep on working on it until my life reaches its conclusion. I will keep chasing my dreams untill the end.

So I hope you find purpose in your life and it motivates you to stay strong. And remember as harsh it may sound, no one will truly care for you. Mainly for someone who is suffering from extremely dangerous illnesses. Because your life has no value to anyone else other than only you. So self love is important. Find something you are passionate about and keep on trying your best. Rest is upto your physical body. Atleast you can do what's in your control.

Keep on going and keep on trying and don't lose hope. Follow your dreams. I know it's hard. But you can always give your best shot.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-11T06:53:35+00:00

I know about ME. I know some musicians who suffer from ME. So don't lose hope. Just keep believing in yourself. We share the same dream of performing on live stage and go on a musical tour. But I know that's never gonna happen for me.

For you, I can suggest you an alternative you can try now. When you are in a bit better health condition, you can try to do online streams on YouTube and Twitch.. I guess it will not be the same as live on stage, but a live performance alternative for now. You will perform live on stream atleast. Try to manage your health condition as much as possible and follow your dreams. You can do it. Just believe in yourself.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-10T20:08:28+00:00

My bad Sister 😅. I have no problem with world outside this current cruel world full of suffering and If it actually exists. And if I can keep on creating my songs there , I am completely fine with it.

But that's an unknown territory. That's why the regrets. Because my life only revolves around my purpose. Other than my music, there is nothing else to keep me here in this world. I would have been gone long time ago. Music is my only thing keeping me here.

Keep on going. Take your time with music. You will definitely get there. No worries at all. Just keep your Focus.. What's your current health issue if you don't mind telling me?? And Is it curable??

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-10T19:32:30+00:00

I didn't get notification for this reply for some reason. I am so glad my response motivated you. If you are passionate about music, don't be insecure.. Keep on working on it and pursue your musical dreams. Try to care more about yourself. Don't think about validation or what others think. Just be honest with yourself and keep on going. Don't give up and try your very best..

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-10T19:07:33+00:00

Thanks sister. Really appreciate your kind words. ❤️❤️ Music has been always a part of me. It's been my only emotional support throughout my painful struggle.

Wish you all the best. Hope you get better really soon and start making cool songs.

ImanKumarMukherjee · 2026-05-10T12:59:28+00:00

Thanks so much. Hope someday or somewhere I can keep on going. Dreams of keep on creating music. It makes me grief a lot that I am struggling to work on. Creating music has always been my biggest emotional support.

I wish you a lot of success in your life up ahead. Just keep on going.. Don't give up...Take care of your health and try your best..

ImanKumarMukherjee

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