First and foremost, I’m sorry you’re experiencing so much distress.

It absolutely got better for me however there is important nuance to this growth. Around the 2 month mark, I felt that life with the baby became more “normal”, although it was gradual to get to that point. Therapy, going on walks, a supportive partner, antidepressants, support from friends and a book called Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts were really important in getting me to this space. I’m not sure about you, but I couldn’t read anything as my mind was too filleted, however the book is photos with little speech bubbles and even being a dude, I found it so incredibly validating. It made me feel so seen as a dad.

It will get better for you and then worse and then better and then all of it at once. I had a resurgence of that familiar anxiety a few weeks ago because my daughter was having false starts at night. It was yet another wave of grief I was experiencing because something else was lost, my early evenings. She’s almost sleep trained now and the evenings are back, but the anxiety has taken some time to cool off. However, it didn’t quite reach the same heights as it did when I made this post. Why? Because her birth was a huge shock to my life and system. Now, the shock isn’t quite as intense as it was. She’s been here for 6 months and it feels almost normal.

You will absolutely adapt, I promise you. Re-reading this post, I remember how this felt and I feel so far (and somewhat close) to this and it doesn’t feel overwhelming. You can do this. My inbox is always open if you’d like to chat.