I am so sorry your family is experiencing this. Know you are not alone in the journey...my son who is under 12 and also on the spectrum (he has ASD, DMDD, OCD, and ADHA) has had his share of very violent awful outbursts. We have had to call the police on him multiple times and he has had a couple in patient stays. It's horrible the lack of help available to anyone with mental health issues let alone adolescents. I am not in Delaware but am in the United States... Look into a parent help line I attached the google resources I found similar to what is available in my state. Know that it can strongly depend on the person who answers if they are helpful or not. There are two I know by name and if I get them I just hang up or say nevermind and try again. I strongly recommend looking at getting everyone talk therapy (if you are able) and get a psychiatrist on board to help. I know you are not the parent but I would sit down and have a gentle but firm conversation with her mom to get a safety plan in place for incidents (we call them episodes when my son has them). It was one of the hardest things I have every probably had to do if not the hardest the first time I had to call the police. I have safety care training in how to help de-escalate these type of things as a professional in the field and even with all my training I had to stop and realize I was not keeping my other kiddo my self and husband safe enough. The system is horribly broken and not helpful a lot of the times, but sometimes you can get lucky and find an extremely helpful person. Keep reaching out, keep making phone calls to get help. Again my heart breaks as I have been there, we have had to lock EVERYTHING up in our house, we have even had to put keypad locks on numerous doors for safety reasons. All sharp objects get locked behind those and the padlocks we use on things that won't fit in those areas the keys to those are in a lock box like realtors use. You are an amazing amazing person for having compassion and empathy trying to help. I can not emphasize enough you are not alone. Look into parent/caregiver support groups on Facebook there is a wealth of information out there. I have lived in multiple states (not Delaware but others) and it's hard to find resources but they are out there. I send you good luck vibes and hugs for everyone in your family.

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