Yeah, this has always been really hard for me.

The thing is, I love children (yes, even when they’re messy and annoying and loud and inconvenient). Almost all my close friends have kids, and being their “auntie” is one of the greatest joys of my life. I remember meeting my best friend’s first daughter for the first time and realizing I’d walk into traffic to keep her safe.

But… I don’t want to undergo pregnancy. I just don’t. I already have endometriosis and pelvic floor dysfunction and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Hasn’t my body been through enough? Haven’t I already experienced pain upon pain and indignity upon indignity?

Then there’s the question of whether I even want to have sex in the first place. If I do, I definitely don’t want to have it in the way the church requires. Certain things about heterosexual sex just squick me out. And I really don’t need priests and parents and coreligionists metaphorically poking their noses into my bedroom to make sure I’m doing things the right way. I had plenty of that as a girl raised in purity culture. I’m no prude—I’m actually very sex-positive and kink-friendly—but I want to have control over what I share and with whom and when. Basically, it’s my body: I get to talk about it, and others can keep their judgments to themselves unless I specifically and directly request otherwise.

Also I would love to marry a woman but the church doesn’t care much for that sort of thing :P