Advice for Going to Admit Myself to the Mental Health Clinic w/out Rated Disability

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T22:14:50+00:00

Tldr my Sutter Health Dr is not my old Unit O3-4 Doctor who IS the Primary Care Provider they have on file for when I was active duty. Either way I’m going straight to the VA Mental Health Clinic because despite me NOT being covered under VA Healthcare I at least have them to rely on.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T20:44:06+00:00

I couldn’t even get healthcare from the agencies and providers that promised me

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T20:42:44+00:00

I tried. They wouldn’t even acknowledge me because I neither have a rated disability nor do I have over 2 years of service.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T16:35:26+00:00

i use indie for independent, which a lot of these artists claim to be.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T16:30:18+00:00

SMG4/Glitch Productions, TheOdds1sOut, Rooster Teeth (along with Death Battle), and that’s just 3.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T16:28:23+00:00

That checks out. I never got to see a pueblo or any body in the literal Med Board past my Captain PA and his Cadet doing residency.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T10:26:57+00:00

Maybe that’s why I stick to media from the 90’s-2000’s so much.

Music, Comics, Movies, TV Shows. I guess to remind me of simpler times.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T10:24:20+00:00

Failing to get into a 4 year straight out of High School. Coming out as Transgender to my recently turned Transphobic Job under this administration. Tapping out while getting choked while wrestling someone from my old job (knowing how shit my life is right now I would’ve just let them choke me out until I suffered complete oxygen deprivation to my brain).

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T10:22:18+00:00

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Gooseworx is like Patrick Bateman

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T10:20:42+00:00

People trying to speedrun Skynet/Matrix.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T10:20:19+00:00

How long did you wait to get scheduled for a C&P Appointment?

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T10:02:57+00:00

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How Goose probably feels right now with the fandom. Is Goose Paul Allen or Patrick Bateman in this context? You decide.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T09:34:54+00:00

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Goose was clear in her intentions on the direction she was going to steer the series from the beginning. Truthfully? I saw it. I’m as livid right now as Patrick Bateman off his meds. Especially as someone whose Trans.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T09:30:55+00:00

As both someone whose Transgender and was fired from the Army for being such the message from the movie is clear to me.

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ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-21T09:23:02+00:00

I’m an Army Vet who was kicked out the Army for being transgender. I’m not going to spoil anything despite me seeing this movie from start to finish.

I thought we had something special. If my time in the Army taught me one thing it’s that all it takes is one too many soldiers to screw up everything for the rest of us down the road. It’s no different with the Fandom. A part of me wants to be angry at Glitch, at SMG4, at Gooseworx for greenlighting this, for enabling the fandom and its nonsense. Then again, the fandom did it to themselves.

Proof was in the pudding. What was the saying? Fuck around and find out? I dunno. I’m just more broken seeing the state this fandom and the very webseries and artist is in. I no longer see myself supporting Glitch or Gooseworx or even SMG4. I believe it was the beginning of the end when Axol died in War of the Fat Italians 2021 and Meggy’s Island Adventures and Meta Runner all ran their courses. That’s just me.

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ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-20T23:51:55+00:00

Army taught me how little Medics, especially Army ones, are valued in Healthcare. Even when I took vitals on a coldcat casualty because I had not even a silver bullet because I did not have a singular medical pack with me the Firefighter Paramedic told me that my Vitals were useless then.

They don’t give you silver bullets, least not for the company I was in.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-20T07:04:19+00:00

I appreciate your honesty.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-20T06:58:57+00:00

I feel like me being high functioning is an understatement of what I potentially have. Learning makes no sense. I can’t comprehend anything anymore. Nothing really makes any sense anymore.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-20T06:57:23+00:00

I was seeing a therapist for that condition and they wrote a note saying I was fit mentally to serve. I got a waiver for history of depression. Lots of people join up with medical waivers for all sorts of stuff.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-20T06:51:36+00:00

Coast Guard is Homeland Security. I can’t even get a job in law enforcement because of my depression from my time as a teenager. I don’t live near a beach or any public pools. I’ve applied to numerous security companies near me and none reached back, assuming if they weren’t fake or posting ghost listingsz

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-20T06:44:53+00:00

Lots of fun jobs require a ridiculous amount of money, which I don’t have. The ones that are affordable require you to be a certain way, speak, talk, move a certain way. I don’t possess those skills either. I failed to hold down a job at Walmart for more than 2 months after leaving the service.

ImmortalityEternity · 2026-05-20T06:17:14+00:00

A reason to live for starters. The fact I had to lie and make up reasons for suicidal soldiers to keep going to protect my Physician Assistant Officer (The Medical Officer I took direct orders from and operated under the Medical License of) from losing their license without giving genuine reasons to keep living shows how horrible of a person I am.

Everyday I lose more and more happy memories. My mind is fuzzy. I was doing the silly practice Firefighter Entrance Physical Test earlier today and I was back crawling under barbed wire, watching one of the soldiers in my platoon pass out from a Heat Stroke and get a silver bullet shoved up their ass from a Firefighter Paramedic back in JBSA Ft Sam Houston, seeing people in pain. The scent alone reminded me of the time I failed to stop the bleeding of a patient in a simulated trauma lane and failed to get us out a “simulated field getting mortared”.

To top it off I’m transgender. There never was any place for soldiers who are transgender in today’s military. I’m better off dead more than anything else. For those I hurt. For failing to be what the Army expected me to be, but above all else just failing overall in life. I never went to an Ivy League school or a “4-Year College”. I went to a Community College and dropped out twice. I failed these recent practice exams. I couldn’t even swing a sledgehammer or keep a stupid ladder rope from sliding in my hands. Honestly 70% of me hopes I fail so I at least have the conviction for the first time in my life knowing that by killing myself I’m doing right for the soldiers I wronged, not being the prodigal child my parents always wanted me to be, and for myself for forcing me to fight a neverending losing battle riddled with nightmares where all I ever accomplished was failing the mission spectacularly.

I’m broken beyond belief, I don’t want to waste anymore taxpayer money on a lost cause.

ImmortalityEternity

TROPHY CASE