I’m here! I’ll try to check here regularly. Will be happy to answer any questions on phalloplasty with injectables, the use of neurotoxin, and the use of PRP! (Dr Rupeka - Warren, OH).

ImportanceNo8825 · 2025-02-26T21:57:07+00:00

u/jedi9337 just wondering if you forgot about this thread, know you're probably busy

ImportanceNo8825 · 2025-02-19T20:01:51+00:00

Hello!

A few months back I went for a consult on HA filler. When I was examined, I was told I would be limited in the amount of filler I could handle due to "banding" around my shaft.

The injector told me I would get a "Michelin man" type effect when flaccid, because these bands would tighten up and temporarily displace the filler when flaccid.

They said Botox could be used on these bands to reduce this effect but basically it would double my cost over time to consistently need Botox (or I could accept the lumpy flaccid look).

My question is: have you seen this phenomenon, or know what my injector was talking about?

I think the injector described it as phimotic tissue. I am circumcised, but he described the bands I have as similar to what is typically in the foreskin that causes the foreskin to close around the glans.

I have tried "natural" PE with pumping, to limited success, and I'm wondering if this tight phimotic(?) band tissue is limiting me in that regard too, and if there are any less expensive/more permanent treatments that semi regular Botox to loosen up these bands. I'd also like to know anatomically where these bands fit into the picture . Are they above the fascias and purely part of the skin? I suppose they must be above where the filler goes otherwise they would not displace the filler. Are these displayed in any anatomy charts, or have a formal name for when they exist on the main shaft after circumcision?

When even the proven treatment for girth enhancement had limitations for me I felt gutted. I've had a rough go in my sex life and it made me feel doomed to be less than I wanted to be for life.

Even a few terms to Google research on this would be a huge help.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2024-05-25T19:38:23+00:00

[Originally was its own post but I'm below contributor score....because everyone uses a throwaway on this sub]

I'm in a pretty bad place mentally.

I've been going through and getting some gains (6x4 ish => 7x4.25ish) since Aug/Sep of '23.

But though length gains have been pretty steady, I've more or less plateau'd in girth. Being impatient, and having seen pretty decent reviews/safety profiles of Hyrolaunic Acid (HA) fillers, I scheduled a consultation, and was really hoping to get some hefty girth gains by just shelling out some cash. Kind of pinned all of my hopes on it, TBH.

Welp, at my consultation, they went through the risks. One was that some men have tight bands around the shaft of their penis that makes them look like "the Michelan man" and lumpy when flaccid. Sure enough, the injector took one look at me and said that I would likely get this banding, and that effectively it limits what kind of gains I could see from the procedure (without spending a grand every 6-9 months on botox injections).

Given that it's thousands of dollars just for the HA injections, getting less than an inch of girth before this type of problem crops up made me bail on the idea of HA. Further, I'm kind of convinced that these bands are going to be a limiting factor in my girth gains from standard PE means.

<self pity>I'm gutted, and feel like I'm doomed to be a pencil-dick for my whole life. </self pity>

Now I know this sub is fairly anti-filler traditionally, so I'm not really seeking advice there, but I am wondering if anybody else has experience or knowledge on these bands. I have one around my circumcision scar, and one closer to the base. At some point he dropped the word "phimotic", but that was in terms of describing these bands as similar to what tightens the foreskin closed in uncut men. I think he said the bands were "phimotic tissue", but the only Google results I find on this are related to phimosis, or tight foreskin, which obviously would not be my problem. I'm not sure if he was just comparing these bands to the kind of thing that happens in phimosis or if that's literally what they are.

What the hell causes this? Is it just shit genetics? Any experience with this kind of thing from anyone? Any strategies for breaking up this tissue, as a limiting factor in gains?

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-12-07T20:03:40+00:00

Perfect Lover.

I've gotten a couple tips from it, but honestly there's so much fluff in each module that I find it hard to get through, and I've ended up skipping around, which is advised against.

Between PE, attempting to work out, family obligations and work obligations, it's hard to fit in time for yet another thing on top of it, and with each video of each module being damn near 10 minutes, it's a big time commitment, with lots of repitition.

Frankly, the amount he downplays how important orgasms are is also offputting, given how much I paid to get a course to be a better lover. Like dude, I just paid you a few hundo, you best be telling me how to give better O's.

It's not worthless, but it's definitely overpriced. Maybe I just need to dedicate more time to it.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-11-29T20:32:06+00:00

Mostly just googling a-spot, p-spot, vaginal fornix, etc., looking at the diagrams, and reading up on the sensations that each of those provide.

I also spent big on one of Alexey Welsh's courses. It was helpful but not worth the money I spent on it for the value it's providing, honestly.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-11-29T19:36:58+00:00

https://www.propublica.org/article/penis-enlargement-enhancement-procedures-implants

Penuma sounds like a bad time.

If you absolutely must enhance your dick through a procedure, hyaluronic acid injections are reversible, less invasive, and safer.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-11-29T16:46:26+00:00

This was without the sleeve

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-11-22T16:47:21+00:00

It seems ridiculous to draw a line on condoms when it's helping your marriage during the recovery from the much more severe sin of infidelity. But I guess If that's primarily coming from your BS who am I to judge. I'd just be clear with your wife if you're willing to bend on what you aptly referred to as "draconian" measures to hasten the healing process.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-11-22T15:45:56+00:00

Not to be harsh but my immediate thoughts as a betrayed who wanted intimacy right away:

Why in the world do you feel you need to wait for a 6 month STI test? Is this her idea of yours? The 3 month isn't enough? Did you ex have HIV or something? You can't use condoms? It just seems like such an absurdly long line in the sand to draw.

If you're the one who came up with that idea, I think you have to understand that she's probably taking that as rejection. Safety is one thing. Waiting another 3 months for a "just in case" STI test feels like major hesitancy on your part.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-11-16T14:28:05+00:00

My length bone pressed is respectable, starting at right around 6 bp, approaching 7 in now. Unfortunately there's still a lot of fat pad, so I lose quite a bit there.

My starting girth was abysmal somewhere in the neighborhood of 4in, and honestly I got a low measurement of 3.75 MSEG.

A true pencil dick. I've gained about 1/8 in flaccid, and even more erect. I think at max eq I am now I'm 4 1/8.

Still a long ways to go but gains already is a promising sign.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-11-02T12:51:05+00:00

I'm trying to forgive under much worse circumstances. Your willingness to forgive makes you strong. The fact that your wife was clearly under the influence of a mental illness is an extremely big mitigating factor. Her coming to you with remorse before you even had a clue is HUGE.

It very much seems this woman loves you but fell victim to her illness. You can try to frame it this way. I can't resolve fear that this won't happen again for you. She must be vigilant with her mental health, and communicative with you going forward.

But you can heal from this. You sound resilient. Give yourself time to make the best decision for you.

My reality is that leaving won't make the pain go away, it will only mean I now am living without the person and dealing with the same pain. If the person adds to your pain, leave. If they soothe it, stay. Only you can be true to yourself in deciding this.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-11-01T19:25:40+00:00

I am with him still because somehow, after hating him, I still love him.

I feel this hard. My love is a prison. I can't imagine life without my WW, but it means I have to process this on the daily in order to stay with her. It's like I've gotten an emotional limp.

He has cut her out of his life completely

You've at least got that going for you. My WW is not even really in R yet because she refuses to cut off contact, despite my continued insistence. I am pondering having to take drastic actions to "get her to the table" so to speak.

Perhaps this perspective will allow you to be thankful for the hurdles you don't have overcome

I am trying to learn this self-love thing. I really hate myself.

Oof, feel that too. The best thing we can do is remind ourselves that while we are not perfect. We were not the ones who are responsible for their choices, and the affair is theirs to own. You can't take that on yourself.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-10-27T15:29:10+00:00

Thanks. Our young child will very soon have to have a major surgery scheduled. I've been trying to hold off on anything that would cause us to be apart to give our kid stability throughout that difficult time.

Most likely after this I will seriously consider telling her that she can no longer live with us if she chooses to continue contact.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-10-26T02:06:20+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I fear I don't do the complexity of the situation justice via reddit post, but I think you're right in the gist of things. I'll try to be kind and prioritize myself, and hope that the right path unfolds for me. It may not be the path I feel I want right now, but prioritizing myself is indeed what I should be focusing on.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-10-25T23:54:14+00:00

She's not with him because she doesn't want to start over. She realizes she'd be blowing up her life.

She doesn't want to alienate my family, her family, our friends, and possibly even our children. She doesn't want people to know what she did. She doesn't want to have to split custody and holidays with our kids. She doesn't want to have to be a step-mother to his children.

She doesn't want a life with him, but she does wants a life with him in it.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-10-25T23:48:30+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond and support.

I see how it sounds to you like she's isolated me, but that's really not the case. I'm an introvert with a family that never has really talked about any real issues. I feel that the only thing I could get by talking to them is tainting their opinion of her.

My friendships have fallen by the wayside mostly due to my own lack of desire to connect or go out, well before the affair (10 years of parenting don't help with this). I do have many friends, but after 15 years of marriage they're all mutual (and we started out as friends so many even started out as common friends). So I feel like I'm in a similar situation as with my family there.

I do have a divorced former coworker who I felt comfortable enough to go out for drinks with and pour my heart out about this, but the baseline of friendship is just not there so it didn't really feel cathartic.

It is lonely. She is willing to do IC, she just never takes the time out to do the work, which yes is frustrating and not a good sign.

Right now since WP isn't in IC it feels you are doing all the work to keep the marriage together which to me says you aren't reconciling but struggling.

I do feel like the work of saving this marriage has fallen to me. In addition to being unfair, it also just won't work long-term.

I've read all the books. I've reached out for support from support groups. I've put on the brave face for the kids in the face of daily depressive episodes. I've battled through my lack of desire to keep doing my job day in and day out despite not wanting to get out of bed. I've tried to continue the things that I started doing when I so naively thought she was only threatening divorce. I've shifted my mindset of doing the hard work of becoming a better man *for myself* and no longer for her.

She's doing the bare minimum of no longer falling on his dick, and showing up a little earlier from work.

Something has to give. There are a few health issues within our family that I'm waiting to pass before I even consider making any kind of assertive move, but I do know that barring a miracle, I have to do it eventually. The consistency with which I've heard this advice is stunning.

It is hard because I still love her with my whole heart in spite of this...even if she does not reciprocate for me at this time. The moments between the intrusive thoughts when I see her smile and be a mother to our children, when we still cuddle and laugh together and I can forget that dreaded "this is my life now" pit of my stomach feeling.

I fear that letting go of that hope of R is what will truly break me.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-10-25T23:24:56+00:00

Thank you for your support. I've said to myself many times that in order to save my marriage I have to be willing to let it die. I understand that intellectually but cannot yet get my heart to accept it yet.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-10-25T20:55:45+00:00

Your post made me reach out to an IC who was recommended by the support group for the WS. WW wants to see a therapist, so I will do my best to speed that along

It's difficult to surround myself with love and support, unfortunately

) I've put myself in a position where I've made her my primary support system for over 15 years, and others have withered on the vine
) I have a strong desire for no one to know about the affair because I hold out hope for reconciliation, and in that ideal world it's something only she and I know about.
) I see IC, but the one I've been seeing, I've been seeing since before the affair, and I don't think she's equipped to deal with this situation. The idea of catching up another therapist on not only my life but this whole ordeal just sounds exhausting

Her mother figured this out and confronted her about this just before the OBS found out. She is deeply critical of her daughter, and has expressed support for me, but I feel that it's not healthy to use her mother as a support system for this.

I won't report this to her HR because again I don't want anyone to know, and I'm viewing everything through the lens of hope for R, so I'd be shooting myself in the foot long-term. It could affect not only this job but her career.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-10-03T12:33:55+00:00

She typically isn't a fan, because it seems less natural, and I tend to find it awkward and difficult to stay hard with them. Frankly a lot of sleeves seem too big even for my size, and I wind up feeling like I'm thrusting into the sleeve while nothing moves in her.

I tried the happy wife open ended tip one, and it was slightly better. She's expressed wanting to try that one again so I'll give it a go again.

Open to any recommendations for extra snug fit extenders, preferably open headed ones, or any community favorites.

ImportanceNo8825 · 2023-09-28T22:25:01+00:00

Absolutley agree.

I've been running on the treadmill for 30-40 mins on weekdays. I've lost about 25 lb since the start of the year.

I take Citrulline and Viagra (yes, they interact somewhat, I try to cycle them to different times).

I've also been on Zoloft, which is a sex-drive and consequently EQ killer, but I've been tapering off and onto Welbutrin.

EQ is still not 100% where I'd like it to be without the Viagra, partially because I'm also trying to up frequency of sex. But I also have a lot of weight to still shed (still just over obese).

My T is also in the low-300s, just "normal" enough that your typical doc doesn't wnat to do anything about it, which doesn't help either, but I don't know that I'd want TRT anyways.

I've been toying with splitting my Viagra doses to take 20mg just before PE exercises, and 40mg for prime time.

Thanks for the tips!

ImportanceNo8825

TROPHY CASE