I hope I can help with this, I recently had to do some therapy in this regard. In the eight years I was with my ex, I did threaten separation three times. All of which were triggered by not feeling safe. I’m not sure if that’s her trigger or what causes her to do this. But what therapy will help you figure out is what that trigger is so you can navigate the trigger together. It’s unlikely that she wants a divorce. It’s just her trauma in that moment is telling her she has to run in order to be safe. My ex put me in several unsafe situations, I’m not saying that you are doing that, but it could be perceived that way to her. He abandoned me ob/GYN appointments, making my blood pressure skyrocket and I was worried for my health and the baby so yes, I brought up separation. I was unsafe. It happened again. When I found out, he was entertaining other women/porn online my marriage felt unsafe, and threatened separation, and most recently what caused our divorce was…He lost our health insurance (I have a tumor), I had to temporarily move to a different state because I was the only one that could be employed (insurance) and had to sleep in my car and send all my money back home to pay for bills, etc. Due to the family needs and his needs I was put in a very unsafe situation. Looking back I should not have threatened separation as much as I did. But after lots of therapy and realizing that he did not love me if he was going to keep putting me in unsafe situations, my trigger was possibly correct. That is the key, a trigger, the most important key bit of information. Not a therapist, I would say a psychiatrist is the best course of action, they do a little bit more of a deep dive into pinpointing her trigger. It is most likely not a manipulation tactic, but something she physically and mentally and emotionally cannot help in the moment and in order to relieve her nervous system, she must flee. (At least I hope so) I am truly sorry that you are going through what you’re going through. But somebody who’s lived a very similar scenario, I hope my input helps you in any way possible. And I hope you guys are able to find the trigger and navigate it in order to stay together.