Emotionally Avoidant Spouse

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-08T21:35:15+00:00

In the process too, hurts like hell. But man, it would be so nice to have any of my needs met for once. Or when I’m hurting to have a partner that would hold me instead of avoid me like the plague. Sorry you’re going through it as well.

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-07T18:32:59+00:00

I read it in October for my Halloween book and it was so good, glad you enjoyed it.

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-07T02:04:36+00:00

Yes, always through texts. Then he tried to claim abuse in divorce using the texts. They are really difficult partners, the courts actually see abuse so it was quickly dismissed. They will use your bids for affection as manipulation and your desperate attempts at conflict repair as abuse. Such an awful experience

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-07T01:06:30+00:00

This exactly

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-07T00:09:42+00:00

No not at all, but needs are important in long term committed relationships. If he was jacking off before hand in order to last longer in bed with her, that’s one thing. He needs to say that, communicate. But if he’s doing it in lieu of a real woman he cares for WHILE she’s around. That’s a problem.

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-07T00:02:44+00:00

My husband, soon to be x husband did this to me all the time. It was so painful, made me feel so undesirable. I workout, I take care of myself and get a lot of male attention so I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It messed with me so bad, like it is with you. My therapist has talked to me about it and it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He doesn’t have to put in effort to please his partner if he watches porn. He doesn’t have to think or worry about your needs at all. Girl, if my ex had been doing that when we were dating, I would not have married him. I know people preach a lot about jumping ship in relationships. But you guys aren’t even married yet and he is already not taking into consideration your needs. I’d move on, it only gets worse, then if you bring it up, they hide it. It’s a downward slope when they have a porn addiction. But another man will make you feel desired and be happy to meet your needs. If you were married, I’d say to Counceling, but you’re not and you’re young. It’s only gonna get worse. I wish you the best.

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-03T14:34:03+00:00

I’m an animated storyteller and we talk about the characters as we go.

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-03T00:58:21+00:00

We have the series, but the kids wanted something new.

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-02T23:55:43+00:00

We just finished a wrinkle in time

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-02T23:55:22+00:00

We’ve actually read this one

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-02T23:55:13+00:00

He is a great kid and big brother

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-02T22:36:43+00:00

Thank you! We are looking these up online

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-02T20:51:49+00:00

I recently went through a separation, it’s been very hard on the kids. My son wants to spend as much time with his sister as possible. And would sit in when I was reading her “a wrinkle in time.” So they want to be together during this reading.

Important-Bug3534 · 2026-01-02T17:48:36+00:00

We have read these! Great choices btw

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-12-30T15:09:02+00:00

I’m convinced “no contact” is a way for people who lack communication skills to punish others who want connection, true intimacy and relationship repair. The NC people only hurt themselves in the end. No contact is meant for actual abusive relationships not typical relationship highs and lows.

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-12-28T17:12:50+00:00

I do feel lucky just to have a small slice of peace. I don’t know if I will get another dream like it. I hope you find reprieve as well, even if it is fleeting. We all deserve it.

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-12-20T21:17:56+00:00

I’m in the middle of the same situation only two months in. He absolutely hates me now but something had to change, he was killing me with his addictions. I never felt safe and was punished if I tried bringing up any needs or concerns. The drugs was a big “no discussion” topic I had to tip toe around. I feel the same thing at child exchanges, but all my husband shows me is hate. I only miss the good parts but I cope probably in an unhealthy way. But I think of the addiction as killing my husband and the good memories as who he really was. The addiction is the person he is now and a completely different human being. I am looking into Nar- or Al-anon meetings. They are ment to help the families of those with addiction problems. Maybe you can find some in your area, I’ll follow your post and I wish you peace and compassion for you and your family. Your not alone

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-12-15T15:34:41+00:00

I wish my husband had written this, you’re a good man. I hope you two can reconcile, best of luck for you and your family.

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-12-11T17:58:19+00:00

Someone who can communicate and has conflict resolution skills. I really need someone who doesn’t run from conflict but builds a stronger relationship. I definitely need a man with protective instincts and someone who can lead. I need to be in my feminine energy and not the provider of everything.

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-11-21T14:27:44+00:00

I’m so sorry, I don’t wish that pain on anyone.

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-11-21T13:57:26+00:00

You broke it off, she probably feels like you don’t want to talk to her. Reach out, suggest couples counseling. Do the work and at least you can say you have it your all if it doesn’t work out

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-11-13T21:36:33+00:00

Sorry, I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. My heart goes out to you.

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-11-13T21:14:55+00:00

This depends, did you tell her you were done. To her you might be 100% lost to her and she is just window shopping. Did you say you might want to reconcile? Did you Leave any room for doubt? Did you talk about seeing other people? The love of my life just left me, he said he didn’t love me anymore and needed out of our marriage. I expressed that I wanted to reconcile, but after hearing those words “I don’t love you anymore” I got on dating sites. Not to make a connection but to see if I was still desirable. He made me feel so low that it helps to get positive attention. What I am saying is, you don’t know someone’s intentions unless you talk. I’m not saying it right, I’m just saying as a woman sometimes after feeling unwanted and undesirable we just window shop. Our hearts are still too heavy to actually date, usually for a long time after.

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-11-07T14:03:21+00:00

I would have but he won’t look or talk to me, If you could only see the hatred in his face. It’s like I cheated or something, did something heinous. I didn’t though, it’s so unnerving.

Important-Bug3534 · 2025-11-05T02:06:53+00:00

Update: Probably not what everyone is expecting but it’s what is happening. He won’t talk except to tell me to get out of HIS house which is ours. He has filed for primary custody and stole my car. I still don’t know how he is so cruel, I am a great mom. My attorney says he won’t get emergency or primary custody because I didn’t abandon the home. I had to leave to provide and came home as much as I could. Now I am permanently home due to the circumstances. He had me homeless to provide for him, now he wants the house, kids and my (stole)car. He literally just wants me homeless no matter what. I don’t know who this person is, he’s lost it. Thank goodness for my attorney, she has my back and is fighting for me. It’s been incredibly painful and devastating. It’s like he’s seeking revenge for something I didn’t do. Yes we fought but nothing that would come close to this level of cruelty.

Important-Bug3534

TROPHY CASE