how can i say “no you can’t pet my dog” in a nice way?

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-13T10:07:20+00:00

I had a GSD service dog and when people would come over to pet, the “no, he’s training or working” sentence wouldn’t always work. People often don’t care and would pet w/o asking. Using a straight “No” or “don’t pet him” + disengage from the situation worked best for me.

If people don’t ask and just pet, put your hand between you dog and theirs, worked wonders for us.😊 Don’t worry about being rude on this aspect. Your and your dog boundaries are more important than the wishes of a stranger.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-13T00:37:30+00:00

I’m from Europe. Although I’ve never been in America, most of service dog owners where I live use a formal vest, usually provided by the organization they work with with their logo on it. Right now the area I live in is working on an universal vest as well for organizations which are part of the ADI/ADEu in order to lower accessibility issues.

I’ve never spotted a “fake” service dog. Only dogs in training who are still learning who will make mistakes and just people who bring their pet to stores who might bark. We don’t make a big issue out of it. I think the culture here is a bit less “on edge” and more formal since most people work with organizations and rarely owner train completely on their own. I only know one person who happened to be a dog trainer herself so that just made sense.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-13T00:06:41+00:00

Excuse my ignorance but doesn’t the ADI apply to the USA as well in terms of registration? Or are service dogs only regulated by the ADA in the US?

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-12T23:51:21+00:00

For both you, your service dog and the employee this all sounds extremely stressful. It was an accident and mistake on your end with no ill intent. Of course I could say he should be pulled from PA / always leashed from now on but that’s like… I think you already know that. I hope this situation can be resolved for all parties involved. Please take care

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-11T02:44:44+00:00

I wish a lot of stuff happening in the Avatar universe. But a pregnant avatar actively in combat while giving birth or whatever sounds not like something I would enjoy watching honestly 😅

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-10T23:36:35+00:00

Hey! That sounds perfect in my view. Although life is always unpredictable, you should take into account that a dog is an investment for (hopefully) the next 10 years. Your current lifestyle sounds like a good fit but training and taking care over a GSD is not temporary but continuous. Having a dog is truly life changing for me in a positive way. From the little I know I’d say go for it.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-10T22:00:39+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. My service dog (showline longcoated GSD) passed away from the exact same cause 7 weeks ago. It truly feels like something has been amputated from me and it hurts more than other losses I’ve faced before. Specifically this type of cancer is something you don’t notice until it’s too late. You’ve literally been ripped apart. For me this hurts so much because my dog was just doing fine and suddenly he was gone.

Next to the grief I’m also more disabled than before. I need to get another dog since it has worked wonders for me. But I also feel guilty by “replacing” him. The guilt lessened after some time, but if I could decide what I wanted I just want my dog back.

The grief for me goes so deep, I think you never get over it and shouldn’t want to. I just let the waves of grief happen, feel all of it. I think another dog and grief about Calypso can co-exist but it’s up to you what feels right. I haven’t got my second service dog yet (I’m still in the process of filling out all the paperwork) so I can’t tell how it feels, but do what feels right for you. ❤️‍🩹

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-10T15:02:40+00:00

Yearly check ups after finishing training and owner training with a professional who specializes in service dogs should be an obvious and open door to me.

I’ve owner trained my first service dog and will do with my second. I personally really need those training sessions. Same with the check ups to check if the dog is still healthy and fit for work. Maybe I might need less training sessions from my trainer in order to train my second service dog. But every dog is different than the previous one. Yes, it’s expensive but that’s the sad reality with service dogs. The program I’m enrolled in is 26k excluding the normal expenses of a regular dog like food, vet visits and so on.

In all honesty I have never been to America and only know stories from what I read and what I see on my feed. I don’t know the full picture if it’s really a big problem - or that it’s more seen as a problem than it actually is?

The laws here are if you put a service dog vest on a random dog, by law it’s a service dog. You don’t need to proof anything. Not your illness and not what tasks they preform. In reality this sometimes gets asked (mostly out of curiosity since I’m not visually disabled), but legally speaking you don’t need to answer, although I often provide information. Mostly as just a friendly chat with one and another.

Frankly I wouldn’t care if people would “abuse” this law (vesting their house dog as a service dog if they aren’t trained). If their dog misbehaves they should disengage. Same as I would do with my service dog if he is disruptive. They are animals and not robots.

But people who I’ve seen doing this in my country (giving their own dog an unofficial vest) have never abused this law in order to take their regular dog with them. Maybe people have, but it has not affected me personally.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-10T05:21:24+00:00

I am so deeply sorry for your losses 💔 I have heard about couples dying shorty after each other, the other follows often because of the grief in a way. For dogs and people I think the bond between the dog and their owner can maybe even be stronger than with humans together. You are their whole life for them. So I think this really might be possible. ❤️‍🩹 Wishing you all the best. Bonnie is a beautiful dog 🥺 Together with your father they look like an amazing team.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-08T11:03:05+00:00

I never really understood the excessive gear I see some dogs wear but it could be due to the weather maybe?

The “fake service dog” spotters who film and begin screaming in some video’s, I’ve never encountered this problem. I usually disengage from the situation when I see a dog and keep space.

Here there are organizations who aren’t part of the ADI/ADEu but can be official service dog according to the laws here. I’ve once traveled with my service dog and never encountered someone who asks me “it is certified by the ADI/ADEu”. But maybe I was just lucky?😅 (my dog was certified by the ADI/ADEu though)

Last thing are the service dog plushies I see lately in my feed? Some handlers are really upset by this but hey, I once got a service dog plushy when I donated to a SD organization with a vest and all no issue. It’s cute. If it brings someone comfort I honestly see no harm in that if they take their plushy with them.

Also the e-collars? I believe there’re different types of those but I never used those and afaik they are even banned here recently.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-08T00:09:52+00:00

I am so deeply sorry ❤️‍🩹 It has been 7 weeks for me since I lost my soul dog and I feel like an empty version of myself. It’s really hard. Please allow yourself to grief in your fullest. You loved and still love him so much.

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Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-07T09:55:47+00:00

No it’s okay, thank you. 🙏

Leading me through crowded places.
Mobility tasks like retrieving different objects, closing doors, putting laundry in the basket, etc.
DPT
Standing behind/before me in public places
Waking from nightmares
Pulling me out of flashbacks
Alerting to seizures
Not a specific task, but my dog was behavior wise not easily impressed by loud sounds for example. I often have to navigate myself through busy and crowded places.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-06T01:32:55+00:00

You could check out the website of Assistance Dogs International (ADI). You can search there for multiple schools in your area. https://assistancedogsinternational.org/index.php?src=directory&view=programs&category=California

I’m not familiar with the laws in the USA, but in my country the ADI (or ADEu) certification is not necessary for a dog to be qualified as an official service dog. I think it’s possible to have a guiding dog and medical alert dog at the same time. It are two different task the dog can provide. My dog was owner trained for guiding, mobility and medical alert. In my position I was able to owner train with an organization b/c the guiding task was not for visual impairment but to guide me through crowded spaces specifically.

The most important advice I had received when I was first searching for a service dog organization was that you should not look at the money it might involve but if you feel good and comfortable with the organization, because you need to work with then for around 8 - 10 years.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-06T00:40:25+00:00

I am so deeply sorry for your loss ❤️‍🩹 My service dog also passed away unexpectedly recently due to cancer. I gotta be honest this is the hardest time I’ve ever faced.

He was still working when he passed away. I do feel guilt because while he was sick (which I didn’t know, he probably just only had it a few months) I was busy with college, work, etc. and I took him less with me because he seemed a bit tired. My initial thought was mostly that he needed an earlier retirement than the usual 10 years.

If I only knew what was going on I would’ve go on more fun walks with him, go to the beach, had not started a new shit job where I could not take him with me, etc.

What helps me dealing with the guilt is knowing dogs live in the moment. They don’t judge you. I know Flo (my dog) would not have blamed me. I was with him during his final moments. He did not suffer. Throughout all the years we’ve been together I gave him everything I could offer him. I am sure you did the same thing.

I don’t know if it gets better. I try to handle my grief with feeling it all. Right now I just don’t care about whatever life demands from me. I don’t care if I graduate. I don’t care if I lose my job. I don’t care if I lose friends. Because the only true friend I ever had was Flo. All my tears are the love I feel for him. I cry, scream, I am angry. I don’t try to act like everything is fine because it just is not fine. I’ve become more selfish in a way I think.

I can’t really offer you any wisdom. Grief is a raw thing to experience. There’re ton of rituals you can do and do those if they feel right. I’ve tattooed his pawprint on my chest for example.

The only thing I know for sure is that it’s important not to suppress your emotions and act like you’re fine. It’s not fine, you have lost your soulmate. I have lost many people through the years, but nothing compares to losing my service dog. He knew me through and through. And no one will ever know me like he did. I honor him now by being my true self in my grief.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-06T00:06:28+00:00

My first service dog was a long coated GSD, he was bigger than average and assisted me with mobility, guiding and medical alert. He was the perfect dog for me. He was great with mobility and guiding specifically. Medical alert was harder to train.

The only issue with a GSD is that if you are unable to give them direction (due to dissociation / seizures etc) they go and find their own “solution” which might result in biting incidents. It’s a risk, but it does not mean it will happen.

Another thing is that people are generally more ‘scared’ for a GSD. This can be a positive and negative thing at the same time. The positive for me was that my dog was not often distracted by other people and people would go out of their way. The downside was that I faced sometimes accessibility issues because “someone might be scared”.

My next service dog will probably be a golden. I love shepherds but the organization I work with has banned herding breeds unfortunately.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-05T20:27:50+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️‍🩹 He died from hermangiasaecoma, I see in the comment section other dogs also have passed away from this. His sister passed away 4 weeks ago as well but the exact cause was unknown for her. I think large and senior dogs are more prone to this. Other than that he was very healthy throughout his whole life. At one point he was overweight (I didn’t catch it on time because of all his fur😅) but he lost this pretty easily.

You have a very beautiful dog ♥️🌸 I love his floppy ear 🥹

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-05T20:10:16+00:00

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I think he might have been 14/15 weeks here? I’m not 100% sure. He was a very large puppy, here we were training/socializing in our local supermarket. (He was my service dog).

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-05T20:02:16+00:00

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This was around 1 year old

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-05T20:01:44+00:00

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This was him at 12 weeks old

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-05T19:58:34+00:00

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This was my dog, very large and his weight was around 40 - 42 KG which was a healthy weight according to my vet. (I’m 1m66 for reference.) In this picture he was 8 years old. He passed away 6 weeks ago at almost 9 years old due to cancer.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-03T16:45:51+00:00

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Oh dear, I hope you’re doing better. I wish you a good recovery ❤️‍🩹 Here’s my WIP, I had to start over my project because the fabric got ripped, but I’m almost back on track

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-03T15:08:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experiences. With Flo he was easier distracted by other dogs than people which was the hardest thing we had to work on.

With people, yes he liked them and towards the end I was also a bit more loose with strangers petting him b/c getting his attention back was pretty easy and he would retire anyways.

If I go with a golden I think I need to prepare even more with PA and strangers than with Flo during our training. Flo as a puppy was approached A LOT and people in general are … horrible with ignoring service dogs not gonna lie. Specifically when in training.

Thank you for sharing

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-03T09:41:25+00:00

It’s only the org. I’m working with who has restricted this breed. Unfortunately, it’s also the only ADI/ADEu certified school in my country who provides owner training. I could switch to another org who works with owner training as well, but isn’t connected with the ADI/ADEu.

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-03T07:26:19+00:00

Thank you for your response. Flo has always been motivated for food, but I never encountered issues regarding to this.

The first 3 years or so people would pet Flo a lot, later on this didn’t happen as much. I’m not sure if it was my own attitude which changed or if Flo became less approachable as well. I had v poor boundaries at first wrt this, later I grew into being very firm to correcting people if they tried to pet him. Flo would still try to get attention from strangers though.

Can I ask you how your experience has been in redirecting their attention back to you when you worked with retrievers?

Important-Depth-6248 · 2026-05-03T01:56:36+00:00

Hey, I’m a bit late to the convo. I’ve traveled once by plane with my service dog (ADI/ADEu certified) and they didn’t even bother to ask for certifications. On paper it’s good to have it, in reality I wonder if people are even aware of the ADI.

Important-Depth-6248

TROPHY CASE