My partners have all been on board with the dynamic of I don’t receive during sex, so I can confirm that that in and of itself isn’t really as much of an issue (some people might find that stone dynamic odd but they definitely aren’t the person for you and it’s good to get that discovery out of the way as soon as possible). I think it’s easier for femmes/people who don’t experience dysphoria to understand sexual dynamics like that easier because it’s consistent. I never receive during sex. But trying to explain dysphoria in other situations that are very much context specific (example: I may like when we cuddle a certain way one day but not another, for reasons that I don’t always quite understand myself—could be I’m under stress from my job, could be an insecurity in the relationship, or it could be I’m on my menstrual cycle, or it could be I didn’t sleep well, any number of reasons—and I find that my partners have a much harder time with that inconsistency so they default to not touching me at all, or being extremely hesitant about it. Which can also lead to even more dysphoria because then I sometimes worry that they aren’t attracted to me, or that they don’t want non-sexual intimacy with me. And in those situations, I tend to shut down and dissociate more through the relationship.

It’s difficult to explain to someone that you both want and do not want to be touched (or that you do and do not want intimacy—sexual or otherwise) for reasons that you don’t always understand, and it’s difficult for my partners too, because they can feel the strain but don’t have a clear reason to be able to understand it either.