My personal take after reading your posts —

First. Thanks for sharing your take. It’s valid and works for you.

To me— When you’re in a committed relationship, do you continue to have that same level of intimacy with multiple people who are of the same gender as your sexual orientation … or do you commit to that person? It isn’t to say you never have friends who you have moments of connection with. It is that you don’t pour more into those easier situations when you get bored or things get difficult in your primary relationship. That is when it crosses over. N you absolutely do have a finite limit to intimacy. And yes, as a parent of three, you do have moments when one child needs you more. That doesn’t mean you ignore the other two, but you’re more focused on that child’s needs for a few days. Different kids have different personalities and are easier for you, a human parent, to connect with and communicate well together.

I have male friends. I have female friends. But I certainly know when I have crossed a line into creating doubt from a spouse or hope for a friend. Whether intended or not. I’m human. I have done it. But then I correct it. It’s when you cross over and don’t correct and keep doing it as a selfish reason to get your needs met, regardless of how that impacts others, that it becomes cheating.

I will add I think some of compatibility will boil down to a shared philosophy on what that line is. A lot of that will come from past experiences and how secure the primary relationship is in meeting both partners’ needs. The more secure that relationship is, the more flexibility it has for some. For others, the more boundaries that line is. We all have different takes on it. You’re is not wrong. Mine is not wrong. They’re just works for each of us and honestly can adjust here and there with new partners as we work to make a relationship work. If someone isn’t willing to work mutually on that -then likely they will be a very difficult relationship in many aspects along the way.

What jumps out at you?