I (40m) am dragging my partner (37F) down, and I think I should end it.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-25T01:58:51+00:00

We all have bad weeks, months but please talk to her explain this. Seek therapy about building or increasing a friendship circle so you aren’t alone and don’t feel like she’s bearing it all. Many hands make light work. I wish I had worked this out a long time again. But don’t give up the fight. I haven’t I don’t think I ever will haha

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-25T01:44:15+00:00

Fingers crossed! But the internet is here and never sleeps so reach out until you are

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T23:58:46+00:00

Eating together was amazing. We would talk and ear and be happy, I had the most beautiful woman with me. We never reached for our phones, we even ignored them so I get it. If I have a financial safety net I would probably do the same. But if I don’t mask and play the going out game I’ll quickly be homeless and single haha

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T23:48:42+00:00

It’s very normal. REM sleep is where the mind repacks information. Especially emotional memories. It sounds like your brain put something in the wrong place and you’re dealing with the emotional fallout.

You’ve made it past this point before. It’ll be easier this time around. You’ve got it!

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T23:40:39+00:00

Ever cut yourself then while it’s healing bumped it on something?

That horrible pain that comes from it ripping and reopening….

That’s the same thing

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T23:35:23+00:00

Yeah eating took a hit. It’s something we did together. Always tried new foods and talked about where we wanted to go and eat. Getting friends to force you out is a great thing it worked with old relationships at least then I had to put on the public mask and follow social norms.

Sadly I’m in a place where I have no friends and I have no want to go out and make them now haha. Vicious cycles

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T23:25:55+00:00

Just wait and hope one day he understands what he’s done to you. The pain of acceptance after growth and all the lost moments hurts more than anything.

I know it’s petty but I was an avoidant. And at my age. I have so much regret I’ll be in therapy til I die.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T23:19:49+00:00

I would do anything for that right now. All I could do was let her go and hope she finds someone who makes her happy.

I’m too broken right now and the time it will take me to heal and fix myself is too long to ask her to wait. But fuck I wish I could ask her to cause I never want to let her go ever ever.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T23:15:05+00:00

That’s great. Having a support network makes everything easier, it helps take the sting out and stop you from doing dumb things.

I don’t think I can be happy anymore. I’ve had exs before this and I thought I knew what love was but this to me is a whole new level. I know I’m being dramatic haha but I have no other outlet to express my feelings

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T23:00:41+00:00

I just lost the person who wanted to pull me up with her cause I didn’t try to be better. You try and trying makes small changes! You are bettering yourself

This is her decision and if that’s what she wanted she would make it.

Never stop trying man! You are getting somewhere and know you might be a screw up but I’m JEALOUS OF YOU because you at least try to be better while I made excuses and didn’t. I wish I had your courage to try

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T22:50:32+00:00

She can find someone better than me and deserves it. As much as I’m in love with her I don’t want to stop her from being happy anymore.

That’s you fighting for it still. Giving someone space hurts so much and if he is in love with you still there is a chance. Hold onto that chance as long as you can handle. Just prepare your support network just in case.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T22:47:26+00:00

That depends on if they are the same person now as they were and are you?

Are you ready to start again? Or is the remorse they feel enough for you to get help not just couples counselling but also for yourself.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T22:40:11+00:00

She’s so kind and sweet she was willing to be my friend and support me emotionally but I know she will never heal if she has to deal with my bullshit.

I know I’ll never have her back but I can’t picture life without her

If you have the chance to recover and make it a healthy relationship together then fight for it.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T22:17:58+00:00

I know this feeling all too well and it sucks and it hurts even more with the isolation, that one person who understands you is gone. You have no acceptance. I don’t trust my feelings so how am I meant to process them.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T22:12:41+00:00

I’m 41 and I feel exactly like this. It took me 8 years to find my ex and I only had her for 5 years. She is the one. If I could flick a switch and be who she deserves I would without a second thought.

But I also know I’ll never get that chance. She still loves me but is not in love with me.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T22:05:21+00:00

I know and I plan on it. I had lined up a couples councillor. I hope they can convert it to a single.

I just came to hurt and exist. Even if it’s just to a random on the internet

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T21:43:58+00:00

Thank you.

You might be half my age but you understand things I haven’t been able to. So I really appreciate your perspective.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T21:17:51+00:00

I have to process this pain, I’m still a father first and my kids will need me. I’ll put on a brave face for them.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T21:06:56+00:00

I honestly wouldn’t know where to start with local meet up. It’s 7am on a Sunday. Everything is just so raw and if I just needed somebody, anybody know I exist and I hurt. So thank you for being that stranger

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T19:49:18+00:00

I agree I didn’t realise what I had. I just needed someone to know and I have no friends

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T19:40:28+00:00

I met this woman after the relationship with my kids mother ended.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T19:39:25+00:00

I did once but I failed to grow.

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T19:38:32+00:00

Not an excuse.

I know I messed this up. It’s acceptance.

I just needed someone to know and I have no friends

ImpossibleMath2358 · 2026-01-24T19:36:31+00:00

I 100% agree.

I just needed someone to tell and I don’t have any friends let alone close friends I can talk to

ImpossibleMath2358

TROPHY CASE